Knights
of Columbus Family Day
National
Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes
Saturday
April 20, 2002
The Mount St. Mary’s College and Seminary Knights of Columbus Council #1965 sponsored a Day of Renewal for Families at the National Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes in Emmitsburg Maryland on Saturday, April 20, 2002. The first of what hopes to become an annual event, ran from 10:30 a.m.- 5:00 p.m. The day began with a tour of the grotto and a family rosary led by Brother Dominic Mary Garner, MFVA.
The first session was entitled “Raising Catholic Kids: The Spirituality of Children, Teenagers, and Parents.” Fr. Ray Harris (Archdiocese of Baltimore, Fourth Degree Knight) began by reflecting on the beautiful gift of children within marriage as a way of God showing his trust in the parents to raise the child they co-created with Him. Fr. Harris made a strong argument against the modern trend to avoid raising a child in a faith tradition such that the children can “decide for themselves.” This approach is inconsistent with true love. In sharing the knowledge gained through his experiences as a pastor and college chaplain, Fr. Harris recognized that children on these older age groups do have a certain freedom in decision-making and parents should emphasize that life involves choices and that these choices have consequences, some of which can be very serious. “A parent’s role does not magically end at age 18,” Harris said, though that role is changed. Fr. Harris also exhorted parents to teach by example, just as Jesus did.
Michael and Theresa Farnan, parents of 6 children ranging from under a year old to 9 ˝, began by encouraging parents to “above all, show your kids that you love them. Kids learn about the love of God through the love they receive and give in their lives.” Children must be taught to love and respect others and the importance and power of forgiveness should be stressed. The Farnans also recommended that the importance of joyful sacrifice be modeled and encouraged and that children should be praised when they make sacrifices for others, no matter how small. Another important thing for parents to do is to surrender to Divine Providence so that the kid’s know who’s really in charge—God. In this way, we can go through life fearless and be open to God’s call. Dr. Theresa Farnan explained that kids can really sense hypocrisy so parents must strive to be good examples. The talk also highlighted the importance of religious training in family life and helpful tips were offered for successfully accomplishing this duty, including teaching children to pray grace before meals, even at McDonald’s and not being self-conscious about taking children to church, even if they cry or are disruptive. Finally, the exhortation to pray for your children was made, recalling the example of St. Monica’s prayers for her son, St. Augustine.
Following a picnic lunch, the second session was held in the Grotto’s Glass Chapel entitled “Being a Catholic Couple: The Spirituality of Marriage.” Fr. Peter Ryan, SJ began by speaking about marriage as a vocation and the need for couples to strive to cooperate with God’s plan and think about Heaven. “Marriage,” he said, “is a good in itself, not just a means to satisfying selfish wants or even needs.” Couples should regard marriage as a gift and as God’s will for them. Fr. Ryan discussed the two dimensions of marriage: consent, involving the free will of each spouse which must be renewed throughout a person’s life, and consummation, which brings out the fact that marriage is a bodily reality and one-flesh union. This union, he stressed, should be a true unity of persons open to new life. Fr. Ryan reminded couples of Jesus’ teaching that one who lusts after another commits adultery in his heart. Once a spouse wishes that they weren’t married to this particular person, adultery begins. Fr. Ryan marveled that there is something sacred about marriage on a natural level. Since marriage is a sacrament, “how much more special and marvelous this union is, since it also involves the supernatural level.” Fr. Ryan concluded by stating that the marriage bond between spouses images Jesus’ love and faithful commitment to His Church.
Brian and Barbara Bolger reflected on their spirituality in marriage coming from 30 years of experience. They stated that it was unlikely that they would be asked to give a talk such as this given their struggles and tendency to be argumentative over the years. Yet, their fidelity to this vocation and cooperation with God’s grace has made them wonderful witnesses to the journey to holiness within the marital commitment. Mrs. Barbara Bolger pointed out the importance of the covenant image of marriage to highlight the aspect of mystery in the relationship. The couple explained the need to make a good home and be home enough together, to recognize the weaknesses in the marriage and humbly admit faults, and to discipline and forgive children lovingly. Mr. Brian Bolger emphasized the need for couples to accept marriage unselfishly for the good of the spouse, entailing service, sacrifice, generosity, and faith in God’s plan. The Bolgers encouraged couples to say “yes” when asked to reach out and do something extra and to recognize the covenantal love is unconditional and forever. Spiritual virtues were made applicable to conjugal life and suggested as keys to “making a marriage work,” including fidelity, avoiding occasions of sin, forgiveness and mercy to overcome misunderstandings and offenses, humility to overcome pride, a sense of humor, generosity (perhaps involving tithing and community/church service), hospitality, and being available to each other, both physically and emotionally. The Bolgers urged couples to address the purpose of the sexual act in marriage and confront contraception. They reminded couples of the need to be attentive to differences in their families of origin and let go of old expectations since there is now a new union to forge, all the while respecting individuality.
The remainder of the afternoon involved an opportunity for the sacrament of reconciliation with Fr. Jack Lombardi (Grotto Chaplain), a Holy Hour of Eucharistic Exposition, Adoration, and Benediction led by Deacon John Cyr (Fourth Degree Knight), and a special Vigil Mass offered by Fr. John Dietrich (Archdiocese of Hartford, CT). The Mount St. Mary’s Knights are grateful to all the presenters and participants and hope for more of a turn out next year.