Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Oh, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Oh, Dagenham Dave

"I love Karen, I love Sharon" on the windowscreen
With never the need to fight or to question a single thing

Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Oh, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Oh, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Oh, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave

He'd love to touch, he's afraid that he might self-combust
I could say more, but you get the general idea

Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham, Dagenham
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham, Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Oh, Dave, oh, Dagenham, dagenham
Dagenham Dave
Dagenham Dave, Dagenham Dave
Oh, Dave, oh, Dave, oh, Dave
Oh, Dave

And we just can't wait to make more mistakes
And to fluff our breaks, and to stuff our faces with cake

All in all, imagine this :
Nobody loves us
Dab-hands at trouble
With four days of stubble
We are ...
Never loosen the grip on our hand
Call us home
Kiss our cheeks
Nobody loves us
So we ... oh ... we tend to please ourselves

People think all we do
Is lie around and think of how
Rich we'd be if we didn't think
Life could improve

And we just can't wait to make more mistakes
And we just can't wait till the whole thing blows up in our face

Call us home
Kiss our cheeks
Nobody loves us
Dab-hands at trouble
With four days of stubble
We are ...
So, never loosen the grip on our hand
Call us home
Make our tea
Nobody loves us
So we ... oh ... we tend to please ourselves

Call us home
Tuck us in
Nobody wants us
Dreamers and schemers
Oh, pie-eyed, and bog-eyed, and cross-eyed
Oh, never loosen the grip on our hand
Whack us then
Hug us hard
Nobody loves us
So we ... oh ... we tend to please ourselves

And we just can't stress, oh, how more the mess
And complete distress won't make much difference to us

Sing us our
Favourite song
Nobody loves us
Born-again athiest
Practising troublemakers
Make us our
Favourite jam
Nobody loves us
Useless and shiftless
And jobless
But we're all yours

Caught in your headlights
Like a frightened animal
You must remember

Someone cries twice nightly
Of course, I do remember
Someone cries and you think quite rightly so
But you refuse to remember

Caught in your headlights
Like a frightened animal
Oh, you must remember

Oh ...
Remember, remember
Oh ...
Remember, remember

Low-lights and long nights
I try hard to not remember
And you - too beautiful
I can't look

I've done so very many stupid things
It's too late (remember)

Oh ...
Oh ...
Remember, remember
Oh ...
Remember, remember
Oh ...
Oh, remember
Oh ...
Remember, oh ...
Oh ...
Oh, remember
Oh ...
Remember, oh
Oh ...
Oh, remember, oh
Oh ...
Remember, oh
Oh ...
Oh, remember, oh
Oh ...
Remember, oh