PART TWO
And how did my band manifest this
manifesto? We booked a tour of Britain. That's right, Old Blighty, Albion's
Shore, Jolly Old England etc… And why did we do this? Because we needed
a holiday. A working holiday, that is. You get a little dependent on your
girlfriend/major-label as well, so it is of the utmost importance to remember
that you can get out there and make the ladies turn their heads even if
you don't have Catherine Zeta Jones on your arm. Despite Kundera's observation
that "beautiful women don't fall in love with beautiful men, they fall
in love with men who are the lovers of beautiful women" your love life
isn't dead unless you let it die. Remember that you are an attractive,
engaging, charming guy. Well some of you are. A lot of you people who got
dropped just suck and need to hang it up. Go home, get a job at Kinko's.
You're clogging up the works and you know who you are. Like Socrates said,
"Know Thyself". If you're an auto-mechanic by nature, accept that and realize
that that is probably a lot more valuable to the world than 99% of the
pop music that is out there. Although it didn't stop Days of the New.
Anyway…
…Our friend Nick West, an editor and writer at the legendary UK 'zine "Bucketful of Brains", is one of Jolene's most ardent champions. He put us in touch with Leicester based promoter Mick Spencer. Mick is the mastermind behind the Cosmic American Music Club, a co-operative of local UK concert promoters whose mission is to bring over American bands who might not have the resources that someone like Catherine Zeta Jones (ref: Chapter One - i.e. CZJ = Major Label - ed.) could provide to make a UK tour possibly. Mick did some preliminary research and reckoned he could get two weeks worth of shows. Our response? "Hell yeah, we'll be there".
There were only about six weeks to get ready. We would have to work fast and be adaptive creatures. The "Mikes" (our drummer and bass player) weren't available because of other commitments. Fine, we'd adapt. I quote Darwin from The Origin of the Species (1859):
As many more individuals of each species are born than can possibly survive; and as, consequently, there is a frequently recurring struggle for existence, it follows that any being, if it vary however slightly in any manner profitable to itself, under the complex and sometimes varying conditions of life, will have a better chance of surviving, and thus be naturally selected.
Variety is the 'spice' (who really misses Ginger?) of life, somebody also said. Probably Shakespeare. Anyway…
So we scrambled to find a rhythm section. As we had virtually no money to offer we had to look for suckers. That is, friends who would be into spending a couple of weeks in Britain, playing shows and doing us a favor in the process and somehow didn't care about the dough. A tall order indeed.
Drummer friends that were discussed included Siggi from the Sugarcubes, Mike from Drugstore and Nic from Athenaeum. We finally locked in on a former bandmate of mine (in Grover) and current drummer for the Squirrel Nut Zippers, Chris Phillips. This was a touchdown. Chris is an excellent musician and a consistently enthusiastic drinker who is always full of energy and mayhem on the road. He also has a deal with Ludwig (free drums!), his own sampler (free sound fx and loops!) and his own DAT player (free tapes of shows!)Just what we needed. Free is good.
The bass player situation went down to the wire. Our friends Simon (Cocteau Twins), Ben (Agnes), Mark (Athenaeum), and John (Glory Fountain), all at various points agreed to do it. And then all, at various other points, decided they couldn't do it. About a week before we were to leave I got an 'e' from James Roven, my former NYC roommate and the cellist on our CD for "the cute redhead" (ref: Chapter One, i.e. cute redhead = Sire records - ed.) "In the Gloaming". He said he'd come play cello with us. And pay his own way. Now you're talkin'. Who needs a bass player when you can have a great cellist who also happens to be one of your best friends and wealthy enough to not have to worry about the cash? He also is a British citizen so we didn't even have to scramble to get him on our work visa (thanks to Tina Richard at T&S Immigration Services in London for all her assistance on that front).
I'd also like to take a quick time-out to thank Peavey for providing us with amps and British Airways for conveniently dropping their airfares to an obscenely low price. We truly would not have been able to do it otherwise. Cheers lads (now don't bust on me for using the British vernacular - I'm just speaking their language. I can't help it if I'm bi-lingual).
Everything is set and ready. Gear is sorted, personnel is sorted, transport is sorted. The only thing we have to be nervous about now is whether anyone is going to come see us…
Below is a trimmed and revised version
of the journal I kept while on the tour. Herein you'll find some anecdotal
and some practical information, as well as a couple of my standard rants
and raves.