Like one looking into the face of a seer
The search is not one of being vain
I am trying to look past the eyes of pain
It is true I weep
Myself I couldn't keep
I would scoff at my friends words that I had changed
This was not true, my priorities I just rearranged
The boisterous voice, the dry wit
Where did it go, why did I loose it
I try to pass it off as maturity with age
That when you grow up you get past that stage
How could I be so lost that I couldn't see
That I had been so mentally over come I wasn't me
The solitude I thought I kept for peace of mind
Was in fact confussion that kept me blind
I questioned every thought, every act
And though if I moved against I was breaking an unspoken pact
I stare again at myself searching for the beauty
Knowing that the inner one is gone and I look in futility
The outer shell is but that a guise
The inner one just slowly dies
I know the physical one will one day catch up with the other
That the spirit that is already wilting will finally smother
Why did I disbelieve the words of those I trusted
I sigh and look again disgusted
Of all that I have lost in time
Loosing myself I think is my worst crime
