neversay

Warning: Nothing serious. I just rated it PG-13 because there?s some swearing and sexual references. Oh, and none of this is meant to be taken seriously! I just
made it up out of boredom.

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Flames only keep me warm in winter. Hehe.

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SEBASTIAN:

(Pre-Annette) ?You know what? I?m sick of boundless sex with hot girls and ruining people?s lives. So, from this day on, I vow to change my ways and live in the mountains as Brother Valmont, High Priest of the Saint Christopher coven!?

(Singing) ?Lean on me-e when you?re not strong! And I?ll be your friend! I?ll help you car-ry on??

?God, that Cecile is SO damn sexy. Don?t you think she has the CUTEST smile??

?Hey, Kathryn! Do you want to read my journal? It?s really *juicy!*?

?Monogamy is a very important thing in life.?

?For some reason, I am feeling an irresistible urge to throw you on the bed and make wild, passionate love to you, Blaine Tuttle!?

?Who wants to do some charity work with me on Saturday? I?m going to the old folks home, and the people there are so cool!?

?Sorry. I don?t have sex on a first date.?

(Not sarcastic) ?Oh, that?s alright Kathryn. I forgive you for ruining my life, chickening out on your bet, getting Ronald to beat the crap out of me, and getting me killed.?

(Singing) ?You make me feel all shiny and new. Like a virgin touched for the very first time! Like a virgin when your heart beats next to mine!?

KATHRYN:

?Hey, Mrs. Caldwell? Did I ever tell you that you have the face of an anorexic Chihuahua, and the intellect of a constipated rhino??

(In a ?prep chick? voice) ?SLUMBER PARTY AT MY HOUSE!?

?Ahem! Everybody, I have an announcement to make! I am a closet lesbian, and for the past three months I have been dating Annette Hargrove!?

?I hate sex! It?s so?icky!?

?Why, yes. I do agree with you, my dear Sebastian. Monogamy is *very* important!?

(Whining) ?Mommy! Sebastian?s making fun of my new haircut! Make him stop!?

(Singing to Sebastian) ?And I-ei-I will always love yooooooooooooou!?

?I believe in saving myself for my wedding night.?

ANNETTE:

(Singing) ?I?m horny! Horny, horny, horny! SO Horny! I?m horny, horny horrny??

?That Kathryn Mertueil is, like, such a sweetie! We?re going to be BEST friends forever and ever and ever!?

?Honestly, Sebastian! Do you really think that last night meant ANYTHING to me? I just wanted to see if you were a good fuck!?

?NO! I AM NOT DOING ANY STUPID CHAIRTY WORK! I DON?T CARE IF IT?S AT THE OLD FOLS HOME OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! CHARITY IS FOR LOSERS!?

?SO WHAT IF I DIDN?T DO MY HOMEWORK AND I GOT INTO A CATFIGHT FOR THE SEVENTH TIME THIS WEEK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY? I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! MY
DAD IS THE PRINCIPAL OF THIS SHITHOLE SCHOOL!?

?Hey, sexy boy. I just thought you?d like to know that I?m not wearing any underwear!?

(Reading her magazine article) ?What kind of loser would write this? Doesn?t she know that there?s a wonderful world of complicated sex positions, leather cat suits, whips, and anonymous sex partners out there waiting for her??

?M�nage a trois with Kathryn and Sebastian? Count me in!?

CECILE:

(Wearing a pair of thick glasses) ?The sum of the square roots of the two shorter sides of a right angled, isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the hypotenuse of the same, right angled, isosceles triangle!?

(Before the movie?s end) ?Kathryn, will you get lost? I don?t want to hang out with a loser like you!?

?Well, for the past six moths I?ve been running my own personal business. It?s called ?Whores-R-us? and it?s a highly successful prostitution house, especially in the red-light parts of the city!?

(At school) ?So, if we add *exactly* 12 millilitres of kryptospiridium to our scientific mixture of 5 millilitres of Phenylalanine and 26 millilitres of Deoxyribose Nucleic Acid we will come up with an unusual and wonderful substance that will cure all known existing diseases, contagious and non-contagious!?