Title: Caught Unawares 2 of 2 Author: shawntaw Category: Skinner/Other, MSR - UST, Humor, Romance, Intrigue, need I say more? Summary: Is Skinner having beginning a love affair or is she Cato to his Clouseau? I don't think he's even sure... Rating: PG Disclaimer: Not mine, except A.D. Smith, Agent Shauna Holt, Agent Ramirez, and the Reinfelds. And I have no idea if Durin, Maine exists; I totally made it up. I'm borrowing the X-Files characters for my own fiendish purposes and then they will be returned unharmed. (Harhahahahahahaha - fiendish laugh) NOTE: This idea came about when my husband and I were discussing the fact that Skinner always lets people beat him up. Ex: Holly in "Pusher" and Mulder when he is able to read minds and in the one where his water is being drugged. My husband's argument is that Skinner doesn't want to hurt them because he's so much bigger and an ex-Marine. I've worked with problem kids and know there are ways to restrain someone without hurting them. Skinner is F.B.I. and an ex- Marine. He should know that too... So, this story popped into my head. It combined with a "Pink Panther" Clouseau - Cato thing and maybe a little "Three's Company" - inspired misdirection and Voila! Oh, and if you haven't read part 1, you'll be hopelessly lost:) P.S. Thank you for all the wonderful feedback I've been getting! And thank you for reading.....:) **************************************************** Wednesday Evening 8pm Mulder and Scully had their feet propped on Mulder's coffee table and were swapping theories on who was jumping Skinner's bones. "Kimberly?" "Naw, Scully. You forget; that's who he was talking to about it." "What other females does he come in contact with?" Pause. "Besides that prostitute, Mulder." "How did you know-" "After all these years, I can read your sick little mind." "Gee, thanks. What about that lady in the motorpool?" "Marge the Barge? Gimme a break-" "Hey, Scully, that's not very P.C. of you. Maybe he's got a thing for really big, tough women. I think she's an ex-Marine too." "It's not Marge in Motorpool. Skinner's got more class than that. Besides you said yourself that she's younger and that Skinner's her boss. That leaves only one type of woman-" "She's an agent." "Exactly." The two of them contemplated quietly among themselves for a moment. "Geez, it could be anybody." "You're right, Mulder. This is getting us nowhere." They sat and thought. Scully sighed after a moment. "Well, I'm going home." Mulder nodded sheepishly, glad that she didn't pursue the reason she originally came here any further. Scully stretched her back, put on her shoes, and stood. "And goodnight Mulder," Scully bent over, took his face in her hands and placed a tender kiss on his stunned lips. Scully smiled wickedly as she closed the apartment door on a speechless Mulder, paralyzed, sitting on the couch. ********************************************************************** Skinner tackled Shauna where she knelt on the floor outside his office and she felt her ankle twist painfully as the two of them rolled, flailing into the legs of Kimberly's desk. "Oof!" The air was forced from Shauna's lungs by the force of the attack. She tried to turn over beneath Skinner's bulky form in order to defend herself, but couldn't force his weight off her back. She wiggled furiously, but Skinner held her flat to the floor with his weight, arms restrained to either side by his hands encircling her wrists. "Surprise," he whispered smugly in her ear, resisting the urge to release one of her wrists to right his askew glasses. "It ain't over yet," she whispered back while her mind whirled, trying to formulate a counter attack. A few seconds passed. The only sound was their heavy breathing and the whir of the air-conditioning in the nearly empty building. He began to wonder what to do next. She laid her cheek down on the carpet in a posture of defeat. "Ok, maybe I'm wrong," she admitted. She felt him relax his grip minutely. Shauna jerked her head back and felt it make contact with the A.D.'s nose. "AAAAUUUGH!!" Skinner yelled and automatically grabbed his nose. Shauna pulled an arm free, and rolled away. "Ha!" she yelled, victoriously....until she saw the blood running from the A.D.'s nose. Skinner lay on his back, both hands clutched over his face and blood running down one cheek and onto the floor. His glasses sported one broken lens and now sat crookedly across his forehead. "I gib up, " he muttered with a dull twinkle in his eye, "May I hab a tissue or subthin?" She stood and limped to Kimberly's desk and began pulling drawers open. She found what she was looking for and knelt next to Skinner, holding the box out as a peace offering. "Oh man, I-I am so incredibly sorry, sir. Here, sit up," She helped him ease into a sitting position, "Easy now.." He tried unsuccessfully to staunch the flow of blood. He sighed. "I tink its boken. I need to go to da emewgency woom." He stood. "Please let me drive you, sir. Its the least I can do. Besides," she winced, "I think I may need to go too." He raised a questioning eyebrow. "My ankle. I think its at least sprained, if not broken," she swallowed the yelp as she shuffled her feet, "Come on, let's go." He looked hesitant. "Please....Walter?" *She is the most competitive, stubborn, overreacting...* His inner voice faded at the look in her eyes. *..beautiful, caring, smart, tough..* He sighed loudly. *Oh, Walter, you've got it bad.* Skinner and Shauna hobbled to her car. ******************************************************************* Thursday Morning 9:38 a.m. Mulder and Scully tried not to stare as they sat across from A.D. Skinner at his desk. A huge, white bandage covered Skinner's nose and purple bruising colored the areas under his eyes. He held his spare glasses up near his face and peered at the 302 in front of him. "You want to travel to Durin, Maine to investigate reported out-of- body experiences of several of the town's city council members?" Mulder cleared his throat. "Yes sir. And what makes this even more credible than the fact that it happened to city council members - reliable sources - is that during the out-of-body experiences, they were able to observe events that they would have no knowledge of otherwise." Skinner squinted at the report and then gave up, sighing. He threw the folder and his glasses on the desk in front of him and squinted at Mulder instead. "Ok, what events?" Mulder squirmed slightly; he had been purposely avoiding revealing this part of his report. "Well, Mulder?" Skinner added a frown to his expression. Scully interjected, clearing her throat. "Sir, the city council members claim to have intimate knowledge of the sex lives of several of the towns population. They claim to have...acquired..this knowledge during these..out-of- body..experiences. Several of the..witnesses..also claim to have knowledge of a series of sexual assualts committed in a township over 50 miles away, which is what makes this within the Bureau's jurisdiction. " Skinner stared at the two of them. Mulder spoke into the awkward silence. "Sir, if we can validate these claims, not only would we catch a serial rapist, but it would be proof that paranormal phenomena actually exist. Actual, factual proof from reliable resources!" Skinner's eyes closed for a moment. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. *What a week I'm having* He opened his eyes to two sets of eyes appraising him with concern. "I'm fine," he answered the unasked question, "I just have a headache." "No wonder with a broken nose, sir," Scully responded. "May I ask what happened?" She felt a little less worried about him when his eyes began to twinkle a little. "No, Agent Scully, you may not. But you may go ahead with your investigation in Durin, Maine." The amused tone in his voice caused her to feel no offense at his rebuff. Mulder caught the unspoken as well as spoken exchange and raised an eyebrow at Scully. She shrugged and the two of them decided to leave well enough alone. ********************************************************************** ** Kimberly tried not to look up at Agents Mulder and Scully as they exited Skinner's office. Oh, she wanted so badly to tell them! *I will not gossip..I will not gossip..I will not gossip..* She loved Skinner dearly as a father-figure in her life, but she wanted to tell Mulder and Scully about his unlikely adventure *love affair?* with the HIGHLY competitive and - ahem - physical Agent Shauna Holt so incredibly badly that Kimberly thought she would burst. She couldn't believe the man had entrusted her with the truth behind his injury. It seemed so..personal. He had then proceeded to ask her advice on asking Shauna Holt out on a date. She remembered his embarrassment. "I only ask you this because you're young and it has been AGES since I've asked anyone out. And, Kim? Please keep this to yourself." She had given him the only tip she knew about dating. "Just be yourself, sir." *I can trust them. Skinner's family to them too; they wouldn't idly gossip behind his back. Besides, they know how that hurts.* Convincing herself, she cleared her throat. "Agent Mulder? Agent Scully?" The pair stopped and turned almost in unison to look at her. Kimberly choked back a smile. "Um, did A.D. Skinner say anything about needing an aspirin? He had a headache earlier." *O.k., I baited the hook. The rest is up to you..* To her surprise, Agent Scully bit first. "He did say he was getting a headache. Kim-," She leaned toward her, "how did Skinner break his nose?" Mulder tugged at Scully's sleeve, "Scully! Come on, he said it was none of our business!" She turned twinkling blue eyes to him. "Mulder, he did not say that." "Well, not exactly, but that's what he meant!" Kimberly watched the exchange in silence, waiting for the final decision. Scully switched her trajectory and leaned toward Mulder. "Come on, Mulder." Scully said in a soft voice and fiddled with his tye. Kimberly watched Mulder melt under Scully's scrutiny. "Well, o.k...." Scully grinned un-Scully-like and turned to raise an eyebrow inquiringly at Kimberly. ********************************************************************** **** Agent Shauna Holt tried to manuver her crutches into the doorway of Skinner's office. "Ohhh, crap!" She plunged forward out of control. The large cast on her ankle caught on the carpet and she spun to her right as she fell. Two strong arms stopped her descent. She leaned gratefully for a moment into a white dress shirt divided by a very loud tye. Shauna looked up into two amused hazel eyes. "Agent Mulder!" Shauna struggled to standing. "Um, thank you for catching me." He smiled. "Anytime, Agent Holt." Shauna turned to Kimberly's desk. Skinner's secretary and Agent Scully were looking at her with bemused expressions on their faces. "Is..Is A.D. Skinner in?" Kim calmly nodded, "Yes, Agent Holt, he's been expecting you. Please go right in." Kim stepped forward and knocking once on Skinner's door, opened it. "Sir? Agent Holt to see you?" Skinner voice, altered by the inability to breath through his nose, boomed from within. "Send 'er in. An' hold all my calls." ********************************************************************** *** Skinner helped Shauna sit in one of the chairs facing his desk. He then stepped around to his own chair and regarded her with a piercing stare. Well, he hoped it was a piercing stare, because without his glasses all she appeared to be was a multi-colored blur. He lifted his glasses in front of his face and took a good look at her. She looked nervous and had a HUGE cast on her ankle. He also though he saw a bruise on one of her wrists as she crossed her hands in her lap. He suddenly felt very guilty. She was so much smaller than him. And female. (His mother taught him chivalry!) And an agent under his supervision. How had he let things get so far? "I'm sorry-" They said at once and stopped at the sound of the other's voice. Skinner jumped in again before she could. "No, it is I who should be sorry, Agent Holt. I'm afraid I took your 'challenge' too far. Are you o.k.?" She smiled shyly and nodded. "I'm fine, really. Broken ankle, bumps and bruises, but nothing serious." She looked down at her hands. "And you didn't misunderstand my challenge, sir. I'm the one who took trying to prove myself too far. Just look what I did to your nose..." Skinner sighed LOUDLY and pushed his chair back. He strode to her chair and pulled her up by one hand. "Shauna, unless we are around other agents, I wish you would just call me Walter." She was looking at him with watery eyes. "Alright,...Walter." "And, I hope you won't accuse me of sexual harassment if I were to ask you out to dinner sometime?" Her lip quivered. She smiled a little in surprise and shook her head. "You won't sue me for sexual harassment or you won't go out to dinner with me?" "Walter, I would love to go to dinner with you." She really did smile then. He took a chance and leaned forward and kissed her. Well, kissed her the best he could with a bandaged nose. She left her eyes closed for a moment, cherishing the awkward kiss. When she opened them, it was to find Walter Skinner regarding her with soft amusement and affection. She grinned her mischevious grin of old. "And I promise not to beat you up."