The subject for today was "Standing Out from the Crowd." More precisely, it was about conformity versus individuality in dress. I turn to myself, again, and consider the motivations for dressing the way I do.
I am a man of 48 years old. There are expectations laid on me. One of those expectations is the way in which I dress. There are outside influences which dictate the way I dress in various circumstances. For church, I dress in a dark suit, white shirt and tie. That is not only expected, it's mandated for Priesthood holders (the white shirt and tie part), by the general authorities of the church in Salt Lake. Piercings are frowned upon, and Priesthood holders are not supposed to have any piercings. I have a piercing, but I got it before I knew that it was "taboo." Men are really supposed to be clean-shaven, as well (more of an unspoken expectation instead of a mandate). I have a beard, albeit small, and of the style sported by young men half my age.
For school, I pretty much wear what I want, which is an ecclectic mix of jeans, T-shirts or turtlenecks (sometimes a dress shirt or a collared shirt), work boots, dark socks, and sometimes my earring. I don't wear outrageous clothing, I don't have spiked hair (actually, I have very little hair, and what I have, I shave off), and I don't have multiple piercings, tatoos, brandings or anything akin to those. I would consider what I wear to school as being inappropriate for church, or any time when I have warning about performing some Priesthood function, other than a planning meeting.
Now, I dress the way I do for school because it's comfortable in a high-stress setting, and I like the way I look in it. I may do some experimentation with style, over the next four years, merely because my horizons have been opened up, and I see new possibilities. However, I really don't care how someone else judges that I look. In this way, I have an inner-directedness. I don't care how church members view my dress when I go to school. For me, my dress is functional, neat, and makes me feel the way I want to feel about myself.
I have to admit, however, that I, for the greater part, am other-directed, when it comes to dressing for church and Priesthood functions. I am greatly influenced by my need to conform, and a fear of being ostracized. I am afraid of the disapproval of my wife, and I am beginning to suspect that I am afraid of her disapproval, for two reasons -- first, if I displease her sufficiently, I imagine that she would leave me, and I don't want that to happen. Second, I am sufficiently insecure about my position in the world, that I don't want to risk losing any good reputation that I have, or the approval and respect of others which I may command.
I will say this, however, when I wear the suit, shirt, and tie, I feel powerful and capable, regarding my Priesthood responsibilities. Though I feel powerful and capable at school, when I wear the clothing and the earring that go with that setting. Maybe there is a mixture of inner-directedness and other directedness which is necessary for us to balance our lives -- for me to balance my life.
So what kind of choices can I make? I can choose my garb carefully, based on purpose, functionality, and time-location propriety. Oh, but that's what we do in our culture, isn't it? Maybe it's time to do a bit of experimentation with my clothing styles. Maybe I'll wear a necktie as a belt, tomorrow. (Oooooh)
