Seventeen year old Yolanda Smith, and her sixteen year old cousin, Richard Olsen (Richard was a girl, her parents just really wanted a boy..)were all alone in Yolanda's parent's house on that cold night in DUM DUM DUM..the middle of May..err wait..I mean..DUM DUM DUM..the fourth of July..err..DUM DUM DUM..HALLOWEEN. They lived in..DUM DUM DUM..Sri Lanka. I like..DUM DUM DUM..apples. Fish live in..DUM DUM DUM..water. okay, I'm done. Suddenly, the phone rang. Yolanda picked it up, only to hear a demonic voice on the other end saying "I will devour your soul. You will die. die. die. die miss thompson!" "Umm this is the Smith residence.."Yolanda replied. "Sorry, wrong number" the voice said as it hung up. "Weird.."thought Yolanda. Richard went over to the television and started to put a tape in the VCR. "Don't put that tape in!"screamed Yolanda."Everyone that has watched that tape has died within a few days!" she continued. Upon gazing at the label on the side, Richard realized why. "The Complete third season of 'Family Matters'" Richard just sat there bewildered for a while. Suddenly, a blood curdling scream was heard from the kitchen. Richard hurried in to see Yolanda staring at an empty cabinet. "The..the brownies..they're..they're....gone.." Yolanda said with a horrified look upon her face. "This is the work of the 'brownie snatcher'" she added as she looked around suspiciously. "The brownie snatcher? That's ridiculous. Who writes this crap, anyways?" Richard said. Richard's skull then devoured her brain, and she died a horrible death for questioning my story. Just then, there was a knock at the door. Very cautiously, Yolanda went to the door and slowly opened it. It was..DUM DUM DUM..the UPS guy. "Yeah, hi, I'm looking for the Thompson residence, if you could just point me in the right direction, that'd be great." he said with a smile. "You may want to come back later, there's some guy over there right now devouring their souls." Yolanda replied."Yeah..I'm going to have to go ahead and kind of disagree with you there, I've already devoured their souls. And you're next." he said as his eyes turned a glowing red. "Heh, I'm just kidding. I'll try them back tomorrow. thanks." he added. "How'd your eyes do that?" Yolanda asked, quite shocked. "Eh, it's just a condition I got from my pappy, known as Satan eyes. It comes and goes. Usually only flares up when I mention soul devouring, which only happens a few times a day, normally." he said as he skipped off down the street. Satisfied with his answer, Yolanda closed the door, only to notice the television was on when she distinctly remembered cutting it off some time last week. It had been turned on since then, but that was beside the point.A strange, cryptic voice started coming from the televison.."I am the brownie snatcher. Your brownies are not safe with me..MUHAHAHAHAHAHA" Absolutely terrified, she ran up to her room and locked the door.As she sat in silence, she swore she heard someone downstairs. She had but one brownie left in her pocket. Suddenly, it all got quiet downstairs, and she heard a banging in her closet. She slowly opened the door to reveal Keanu Reeves standing in her closet. "Hi" he said. She countered by sawing off his limbs and closing the door on his head. "Did I come at a bad time?" he asked. She said nothing, but instead sprayed his eyes with mace, and napalmed his crotch. He was not amused. Using his chin as a form of transportation to crawl along the floor, he blindly snapped at anything he came in contact with. Yolanda decided to feed him goldfish food and name him "scrappy". Just then, the noises from downstairs continued. "The brownie snatcher is in the house" she said to herself. She asked the advice of an elderly witch that lived in her closet with Keanu Reeves."Eye of newt, limbs of dyslexic shrew, come back later, I'm watching ScoobyDoo" the witch replied. "You're no help" Yolanda said as she darted out her door. She then saw the hideous form of the brownie snatcher standing in her driveway. Thinking quickly, she leapt in her car and ran over him several times. To her surprise, he got up and stated"You can run me over with your Ford or Chevy, but in the end, I'll still get your little debbie.." Yolanda looked in her pocket to notice the brownie..was...gone.."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed. THE END.