PLAN WARS

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...yadda yadda yadda..naw, you know what? fuh dat. and fuh chu. isa bes telling dis story, and i bes telling it like it is.my name is Q, Q skyhumper, but my friends be calling me "smokey", well dat or my nikkuh or homeslice...but i won't get into dat shih. anyhoo, i got dis wacked out story to tell ya dat bes crazy, yo. so you just sit back, light one up, and enjoy, word. what's dat? da narrator? we don't need no fuhing narrator. i am da narrator. COME ON MUTHA FUHA. IF YOU WANT TO NARRATE DIS HO, YOU GONNA HAFTA WHOOP DIS PIMPY DADDY. BRING IT ON! BRING IT...kjfawiljeroawji alew .................................................... ................... ....... .......... . ..........

Ahem, AS i was saying, a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, there lived three wookies. There was the daddy wookie, the mama wookie and the itty baby wookie...oh wait.. wrong story. OH YES, I remember now.

Princess leahya sat there on her large and impressive interglatic space cruiser munching on the honeybuns that were attached to either side of her head. It was the custom, at least in those days, among the young to attach pastries and/or other snacks to their heads as a snack. It was not uncommon to see an adolescent with twinkies or even ding dongs attached to both sides of their head. he he, i said ding dongs.he he.But, I digress. Suddenly there came a loud BOOM sound which startled our fair and lovely princess. or was it a THWACK? no, wait it was a CLANG..no..a POW..no..oh hell, there was a sound.

She leapt up, being careful to reattach her honeybuns first, and then went to investigate. She slowly peeped around the corner which lead to the area from whence she heard the sound, but saw nothing. She then realized her eyes were closed, openned them, and noted the swarms of imperial troops aboard her ship. "HOLY CRIKEY" started the princess as one of her honeybuns fell off. There, among the fairweather troopers, was darth brion.

He was listening to "mating sounds of the siberian yak" on a walkman as he walked aboot shouting orders to the troopers.princess leahya saw this, and darted off in horror. the sight of someone walking aboot was a frightening sight for the young lady. "he used his legs as sort of a form of transportation" she stated,her face white as a ghost, as she headed for her two robot companions on the other end of the ship.She ran, and ran, and ran. "My God, this ship is long" she said with a chuckle as she swam across the third in a series of shallow streams. After traversing through six more bamboo forests, she saw her droids.

There they were. ASTA (adjustable semi-teflon android) and R33D."haHA, I have an excellent non-stick cooking surface" ASTA chirped. " I make funny. Funny, funny thing i make. haHA" she continued. Just then, R33D started making a strange, barely audible whirring noise. From a compartment in his front, out came the Gettysburg Address in Latin. "Someone has faxed me the Gettysburg Address in Latin" the fair maiden stated. It was a superstition around those parts that everytime someone faxed you the Gettysburg Address in Latin, a goldfish gets it's wings.

Suddenly, young Princess Leahya felt something wet on the back of her neck. Upon further investigation she noted that it was a fully grown carp. A winged one at that. "My name is Mr. Murphy" the carp stated as he seemed to orbit around R33D. Nothing more was said as he flew off humming the theme song from "Mr. Ed". The threesome just looked at each other, shrugged, and went back to playing checkers.Yes, they were playing checkers. Shaddup, I did too mention it earlier."ASTA, R33D, I have no choice. I'm going to record a message, and i need you to get it to the great plan master, Dustin Karaoke." leahya solemly stated. And so the message was recorded"Help me obi jello karaoke, you're my only hope" and ASTA and R33D were each placed in an escape pod to be jetisoned to the nearby planet of Tatooga."Who's yo daddy?!" princess leahya said as she did the funky chicken while pressing the eject button to release the pod.

And so,ASTA and R33D were on their way to the desert planet of Tatooga.Not to be confused with the dessert planet of Tatooga, which is another thing entirely. As soon as the escape pod hit the sandy surface of Tatooga, however, it was swarmed with an alien race known as the jawas. Jawas were known for taking whatever wasn't bolted down and selling it in their huge supermarket, piggly wiggly..err..jawamart, rather.

sometime later on Tatooga..

Q skyhumper was sitting at his aunt and uncle's table when his uncle scurried up to him with that "crazy serial killer look" in his eyes."I need you to go buy us a couple of droids, Q, our old ones done blowed up. heh heh heh heh ah heeeee!!!!" said the uncle, almost sounding like the stereotypical witch.Uncle Jason was an odd man. He had a strange passion for collecting dirt.

He kept his dirt in cylindrical containers, because, apparently, in his own words, "anything besides cylindrical ruins yer dirt! heh heh heh heh ah heeeeeee heeeee!".His wife, whom i will refer to as aunt Britty, wasn't exactly normal, herself. She had been seen wandering up to strange rodents mumbling "spank me big daddy". She would then proceed to chew on her left foot with her eyes rolled up into the back of her head. It was a scary sight, but interesting, nonetheless. After finishing up his breakfast, young Q was off to the local jawa-mart to purchase said droids. "Dis is whack" he stated as he headed out the door of his uncle's house. Heading for, though unbeknownst to him, his own destiny.

"My what big eyes you have" said Q as he peered into a jawa's eyes so closely that one would think he was looking into it's very soul. The jawa just grinned, defecated into a small bag and handed it to Q. This was a sign of affection among jawas, as everyone knows. I mean, you knew that, didn't you? You didn't? Geez, where have you been?Well, anyways... Skyhumper noticed two fine specimens of droids in the corner. "Yo, jawabeoch, dese two be de ones i wantin" he said as he noted the semi-teflon surface of one of the droids.As he neared the checkout with the two droids, he noted that only one of the 34088340820 checkout lines were open.The guy in front of him seemed to have one of every item in the store, including a small two man deep sea diving bell. Money was exchanged, and knowing Q, probably something else, and off he headed with his two newly acquired robots. All seemed well.

All seemed well that is, until the trio began their long trek home. "shih, i don't memba da way home, homies" Q stated as he wandered aimlessly through the sand. "haHA, we shall all perish out here among the dunes" said ASTA, always the pessimistic one.Suddenly, Q started mumbling and having trouble speaking. "THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH!" he screamed as he ran about flailing his arms madly as if on fire. His mouth seemed to violently force itself open, and out popped Mr. Murphy. "A man with a cloven hoof shall redeem the squids from the paraplegic old man that holds them hostage" stated Mr. Murphy in a slightly demmanding tone. He then, without warning, turned and fluttered off. Q noted that he should be changing his diet. It may not be necessarily, afterall, to swallow things whole and alive.Nonetheless, as they continued to scurry about, not knowing the correct way, R33D pointed out some small caves on both sides of them and started beeping like no other.

Suddenly, a large alien figure emerged from one of the caves and let out a distinct wailing noise. The kind of which Q had heard only once before, and that was when Aunt Britty caught him peeing on the carpet.At the sound of this "dune person"'s wail, hordes of them started flooding out of the caves. There were at least forty surrounding our hapless heroes within sheer milliseconds."ah, shih, we is fuhed..." Q sadly stated as he began stomping his own left big toe. "haHA, why do you stomp your toe?" asked ASTA, puzzled. "because, foo, if my toe is hurting i will forget about the dune people ready to eat us alive and just be thinking bout my toe" he replied with a jack nicholson-like grin.

Things seemed quite bleak. Dune people were known to eat human flesh and to just be "really icky bad poopie heads".Just then, when things seemed their darkest, a figure emerged from just above the caves. He had a microphone in his left hand. He looked around, shimmied a lil' and proceeded to belt out what appeared to be Wayne Newton's greatest hits.The dune people rolled their eyes into the back of their heads, dropped to the ground, curled up, and died within minutes.The trio then rushed to the man and proceeded to thank their savior. "Names Dustin, Dustin Karaoke" he said almost rythmically, as he humped an unseen force.

"word, my name is Q and dese here is my robots, i was on my way home wit dem but i seem to of kinda got lost.." said young Q. Dustin put his hand on Q's right shoulder, frowned and said"there's no need to go home, son". Q responded with"I betta, fo my aunt and uncle be callin da cops to find my ass"."Your aunt and uncle..are dead, my child. Your house has been ransacked, someone has stolen your porn collection, and someone took a dump in your goldfish bowl, took the fish out and replaced it with some hair plucked from gary coleman's head"Dustin gloomly stated."NOOOOOOO" screamed Q with tears in his eyes. "GOD NO, NOT MY PORN, TAKE ME INSTEAD" he continued."wait, how do you know dis..?" he asked. "I am strong with the plan" Karaoke replied."The Plan is a part of all things, if you learn to truely harness it's power, you know all things" he continued."Sounds like wack to me, but if you say so" Q retorted.

He then started kicking random things as he moaned about his beloved missing porn collection. One of his random kicks struck R33D, and seemed to trigger something. A hologram of princess Leahya appeared and stated"Help me, obi jello karaoke, you're my only hope". The quartet just looked at each other for a moment. "haHA, who is obi jello, is he related to you?" ASTA finally said to break the silence. "he..he..IS me, but that's a name i haven't heard in years.."Dustin replied."We have to help her, I am going to train you in the ways of the plan", he continued.At first Q was reluctant, but this did finally seem to give him some purpose in life. Something that would truely be the truely good and true thing to do, in a true sense of trueity, that much was true. Besides, Princess leahya was hot.And so, the training began.

meanwhile, on darth brion's ship...

"I call this meeting of the Truely Evil Pricks to order" said darth brion as he pounded his gavel on his desk."i see some new faces out there, so let me just start out by introducing everyone. My name is Darth Brion, I enjoy chinese food, lilacs, long walks on the beach,and slaughtering innocent people" he stated."And this, this is my number two guy, Lieutenant Linz" he continued as he stroked his goat, who was wearing a collar that read "Hi, i'm a goat! My name is Peg".Linz snarled a bit, looked at brion and responded with"number two WOMAN, and if you ever refer to me as a guy again, i will rip your left arm off and stick it so far down your throat you can wave with your ass".Brion looked down, coughed and stated"ahem..as i was saying..and this is my wonderful little midget associate, mini-elli."hiii!" elli said as she skipped around and gave everyone flowers and a kiss on the cheek.

"you should get rid of that thing"linz started, "she's not evil, she's a waste of space" "SILENCE, LINZ I AM THE HEAD OF THIS EVIL ORGANIZATION, AND SHE STAYS" brion stated as mini-elli handed him a popsicle."Suckup.." linz grumbled under her breath. "what was that?" brion asked. "I said I think we should get on with it", she replied.

Brion stated that he saw her point, and officially began to state the night's business."Princess Leahya, whom we have captured and are currently holding, was thought to of stolen a copy of the plans for our big hurty thing, however, she appears to not have them on her. Thusly, it is assumed she may have stored them in one of those droids, that were with her. However, we have been unable to precisely locate them.." darth said."Big hurty thing?" linz asked with a snicker."..don't you mean death star?" she continued. "Quiet, you..do you want to get us sued?" brion replied.Mini-Elli, then climbed on top of the table and started singing "it's a small world". Darth brion clapped along with glee.

"If we could, sir, don't you think we should formulate a plan?" said a small droid seated at the table. "One more outburst from you, Megbot, and i'll have you demoted to official dustbuster" brion said as he ordered everyone to clap along.Linz snarled her nose up, gave brion an evil look and walked out. Brion stopped clapping long enough to say"Soon enough someone will come for the precious princess and then...muhahahahahahahaha..."

The big hurty thing was the ultimate weapon.A huge omnious planet shaped evil base, with the likeness of darth brion's ass on one side of it, it was a terrifying sight, indeed. With a weapon as large and destructive as the big hurty thing in someone as insanely diabolical as darth brion's hands, things looked bleak for the well being of the universe..

meanwhile back on tatooga...

"Use the plan, Q" Dustin stated as he slapped Q on the back of the head. "Now, what is the square root of 7839430543 times 65, divided by 12?" he continued. "I...I don't know!" Q screamed as he ripped his hair out. "The answer, my child, is Alan Greenspan" Karaoke solemnly stated as he contemplated the wiseness of his choice of people to train."That is enough training for now, we must find a ship for I fear the Princess may be in grave danger. I sense that right now she is being forced to watch "Barney and Friends" while being forcefeed tofu" Dustin stated with a tear in his eye. He continued"Oh wait, they stopped the Barney show momentarily so she can take a bathroom break. And oh, she's got diarrhea. It's really runny, there is hardly any solid matter. She just ..."

"WHOA, a little too much info there haHA" ASTA said, hoping the grossout would stop."Nonetheless, we must find a ship if we hope to save the fair maiden, and I know just the place to try. We're off to the catina in town" Dustin stated, calmly."Word, we can take my ride, i gots a phat system in it" said Q with a lil' grin.Q's hovercraft wasn't the fastest thing ever invented, but it did have a "phat system". Plus, the horn played "la cucaracha". ASTA and R33D situated themselves in the back while Karaoke seated himself up front, leaving Q to drive.Off they speed to the catina, after being pulled over once for a city noise violation that is. Apparenlty, your music is too loud when it causes city hall to crumble.Nonetheless, they eventually arrived at their destination. Now to find a ship.

back on darth brion's ship...

"Princess Leahya's bowel movements are starting to concern me" stated Darth brion as he put a goatie sweater on peg."I swear she forgot to flush the other day and some dung climbed out of the toilet and attacked me" he continued.

meanwhile at the catina...

Young Alan Solo was seated at a table next to his Jamaican wookie partner, Da bacca, discussing an old debt he had with the great bounty hunter, Betha Fett."You owe Richard Simmons the Hut about 289732947239047238907 dollars" Betha stated with an evil hiss." We will get Richard his money, you tell him that" Alan stated, though with a little worry in his voice. "You better.."Betha started, "or i'm coming after you and bringing you to him...dead or alive" she finished."No problem, poopie pants" said alan as he stuck his melon knife in the table. Alan's produce skills were known far and wide.

Just then, Q and Dustin entered the catina with an eager look in their eyes. "We needs a ship" the duo screamed at the top of their lungs as they strutted about.Thinking this would be just the chance to raise much needed money, Alan Solo jumped at this opportunity."My name is Alan, and this is Da bacca, I'm the produce man, he's a hairy mothafocka" alan chimed out."We needs money, you needs a ride, we'll give you one, and even fight by yo side" added da bacca."We came here to party, came here to dance, but we need cash, so give us a chance" alan continued."They certainly have rhythm" Dustin said as he looked at Q.

"Wait a minute"Q began, "Don't you think it's a bit 'unusual' that you two guys hang out together all the time, and possibly live together?"he continued. "If you're suggesting that last night Da bacca and I dressed as boy scouts and rubbed honey on each other, then you're way off" Alan stated firmly."And we certainly didn't play strip rubik's cube" he added. "....sorry i asked" Skyhumper replied, a bit scared."My, that melon knife is standing perpendicular to that table" Karaoke said as he pointed at a goose that was feasting on alan's left arm. Just then, da bacca dropped to the floor and started twitching violently, He roared out and started smashing things with his bear hands.

Which was odd, because he was a wookie and not a bear."I forgot to warn you" alan started.."you cannot say the word 'perpendicular' in front of da bacca or he goes into this rabid, insane state. The only way to get him out of it is to shove a gerbil up his ass" he finished.Q grinned with glee as he pointed to a gerbil poking his head out of the wookie's anus. "NO" alan screamed"YOU CANNOT USE ONE THAT IS CURRENTLY INHABITING HIS RECTUM, you see, a colony of about one hundred gerbils are already living in young da bacca's excretory system. we need to find one that isn't already there" alan explained.

The trio frantically searched for a gerbil as Da bacca foamed at the mouth and started smacking people around."I don't understand, why must a gerbil be shoved up his anus to calm him?" Q asked. Alan smacked Q in the back of the head and told him now was not a time for stupid questions. Dustin smacked Q in the back of the head and told him to use the plan. Mr. Murphy emerged from the shadows, smacked Q in the back of the head and flopped off. ASTA entered, smacked Q in the back of the head, and simply said "haHA" R33D scurried in, and also smacked Q in the back of the head.Enrique Gonzalez Hernandez III smacked Q in the back of the head and told him he was a doggie princess." I SUBMIT!" Q screamed. "Heh, I just remembered I had a gerbil in my pocket this whole time" Dustin stated. Alan took it, and quickly shoved it up Q's ass.He then realized it was the wrong ass, and removed it, and shoved it up Da bacca's."AWWJEAH" he said as he finished the deed."And now we know why we shouldn't say perpendicular" Alan said.

sometime after locating another gerbil...

"My bad" alan stated as the others gave him "the evil look". "We haven't much time, we must get going and board your ship" Dustin said. And with that, they all hopped aboard, heading straight into the mouth of evil itself, darth brion's ship.

on board the millenium mango...

"The plan tells me that the princess is being held captive on darth brion's ship" Dustin stated as he attemtped to continue his training of skyhumper."If you wish to become a Jello Knight,then you must learn to use the light pricky thing" Dustin added with a smile that would scare your average fairweather trooper.Q picked up the light pricky thing and randomly swatted it about. In the process, he managed to carve an impressive chunk out of da bacca's fur. Da bacca was not amused by this.The heroes all felt a bit apprehensive, because darth brion's huge ship loomed in the distance..Soon they would be face to face with evil itself.. the enemy..the really bad person... the guy that kicks puppies...the being that steals candy from ewoks..well..you get my drift...

back on darth brion's ship...

"I sense a disturbance in the plan" stated darth brion as he sat on his beloved "big comfy chair" and flipped through the channels on his super bigscreen television."I sense a disturbance in your brain" quipped linz, overhearing brion."Silence Linz" darth began,"A band of rebels is on their way to attempt to liberate the princess" he finished."Mini-elli has made us all some lovely outfits to wear when we fight the rebels" darth brion said as he handed linz her outfit."...it says "I LOVE EVERYONE!" on the front.." linz started "..don't you think that's a bit..oh, i don't know..STUPID?" she finished. "You...you don't like my outfits i made" elli said as she ran off to her playroom crying. "LOOKIT WHAT YOU DID, LINZ" brion said as he swatted at her with a rolled up newspaper. "THAT'S A BAD, BAD LINZ" he yelled."Whatever.." linz grumbled as she walked off."How's my little snookie wookie poo poo babycakes?" brion said as he handed elli a bag of chocolate chip cookies. Suddenly a loud thud was heard as the MIllineum Mango docked in Brion's ship. "Well, well, well...we have company.." brion sneered.

"Okay, this is the plan, you guys go and find princess leahya, I shall face Darth Brion..Q, well, he just isn't ready yet.." Dustin Karaoke stated.And with those words being said, Q, Alan, Da bacca, ASTA, and R33D headed off in search of the princess."Obi Jello Karaoke" Darth Brion said as he approached Dustin wearing the shirt elli had made. "....nice shirt" dustin snickered. "OH, SHUSH YOU, NOW I KILL YOU DEAD" said the evil one as he drew his light pricky thing from a holster at his side.Dustin pulled his light pricky thing out as well, readying himself for the ultimate showdown."Well, well, well, if it isn't joe.." brion stated. ".....joe?" karaoke asked, puzzled. "JOE MAMA, AWWJEAH!" brion replied, knowing a powerful blow like that could very well kill Karaoke.

Dustin whinced in pain and said"you may strike me down now..but if you do, i shall become more powerful than you could ever imagine"Just then, Mr Murphy popped up, read his self written 1,000 page thesis on 'why lungs are tastey treats' and scurried off. Brion looked around, shrugged, and gave Dustin one fatal swipe of the light pricky thing. The Jello knights had lost one of their most powerful members.

Things were going better for the rest of the crew, they had managed to locate the prison section of the ship."Okay, word, dere is two guards dere, i think we can take em" Q said, pointing directly at them.One of the guards saw this and headed towards the heroes. "Nice move, Q" alan said as he rolled his eyes.Da bacca saw the eyes on the floor and gave them back to Alan. "thanks, pal" alan said, reinserting his eyeballs."no problem at all, you'd do it for me, but without your eyes, you can't see" da bacca said in reply.

At this point in time, the fairweather trooper was dangerously close. Suddenly Q stood up, shook his hand and said"Hi pal, darth brion sent me here to tell you that he feels it would be best if you sawed both legs off with some twine and blew your head off with your gun". "Oh..well if the boss says so" the fairweather trooper stated as he began the process of sawing his legs off. The other guard heard the commotion and approached as well. Q said the same thing to him, handed him some twine and calmly strolled over to the cells."The plan" is strong with this one haHA"ASTA said as the rest of the heroes joined Q in finding leahya's cell." I wonder if it could be this one that says 'LEAHYA'S CELL' real big on front" alan said as he did his rendition of "riverdance".

"Da bacca..will you do the honors?" alan asked his partner as everyone stood back. Da bacca approached the door and ripped it right off it's hinges. Inside they saw no princess, but instead a note that read "out to lunch". The heroes just looked at each other, shrugged, and went to look for Dustin.They didn't really know what to think when they did find his corpse. "Do you think he's dead?" Q said as he poked at the corpse with a stick."Dude, the people on the princess's ship are gonna be pissed if they found out we don't have the princess and we got the great plan master killed too.. i think we should take the body with us and try to pass him off as alive" Q said with that 'crazy' look in his eyes.

And at that, one of karaoke's legs was tied to Q, the other to alan, with both his arms threw around both their necks. "Wait..da bacca here,is actually quite skilled in voo doo, it is possible that he may have a spell to bring Karaoke back to life.." alan said with a smile.Da bacca nodded and handed them a list of ingredients he'd be needing." I need eye of bat, tongue of rat, liver of cat, and a chalupa named Matt" da bacca said, reading off the list."The closest things we could gather up to that were some twine, some baseball cards and a half-eaten sack of gorilla innards" Q said gloomily. "They'll have to do" alan began "DA BACCA, DO THAT VOO DOO THANG" he finished.Da bacca set his boom box out, put in a cd entitled "greatest hits of the greatest wookie bootay masters" and began chanting "wookie wookie woo woo wakka woo ha eeeiiiooo wookie wookie wakka woo ha eeeiiiooo.." Suddenly, life reentered dustin's eyes as he grabbed Q and started violently humping him like there was no tomorrow." Get him off me!" Q screamed.Da bacca turned his boom box off and rushed to help, but to his amazement, Dustin had fallen lifeless again at the mere turning off of the music. "he can only hump when the music's playing.."alan said with a lil grin.

Just then, Darth Brion approached with his light pricky thing drawn and ready to maim them all beyond recognition. Q quickly flung Dustin at him, turned the boom box on and rushed aboard the millineium mango. They all boarded, turned the thrusters on full blast and fled as they watched Dustin give brion manly loving like he had never had before."To infinity and beyond!" yelled Q as they left for princess leahya's ship minus one princess and one plan master.

on board leahya's ship...

"Where's the princess?" asked a stately young woman as she approached the supposed heroes."We kinda sorta..lost her" Q glumly replied. "I see..."she began"Well, my name is crysta, I am the dutchess of.. well..of something." she finished with a smile. "This is my little servant girl, mary" crysta said, pointing to a girl not much younger than she that was standing by her side. "Call me Mary poots a lot" said Mary as she giggled like no other. "Let me explain, you see earlier, mary and i were painting my room and she may have drank a few gallons accidently." stated crysta. "I like ham" said mary with a smile as she threw angel hair pasta at crysta's feet. "Blue and yellowy purple men in my hand loving on the earth like peas and rice!" mary said with a snort."She's lost her "marbles"" crysta solemnly stated. Crysta was the type that liked to make quote marks in the air with her fingers, and she did this quite often.

"Soo, dutchess, what's the chances of you and me getting to know each other better, heh heh?" asked alan solo. "I don't "think" so" said crystal with her trademark quotemarks."Darth brion will never be stopped until we find some sort of way to bring his big hurty thing down" said a voice from across the room. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm commander Ivanna, head of the royal militia and wookie hunter extraordinaire." she stated. "Word, but dat big hurty thing is unstoppable" Q said, disappointed."There has to be some sort of way to "destroy" it" the fair dutchess said as she twirled her hair. "I like crayons. Big orange headed birds in my brian , woopy wee dooo" mary rambled, barely coherent."At this big hurty thing, i'm getting annoyed, Let's go already, and get it destroyed" Da bacca said, being careful to stay as far away from Ivanna as he could.,/p>

Suddenly R33D started shaking violently, and proceeded to print out what appeared to be the detailed plans of the big hurty thing. "YES!, I can look these over and find a potential weakness" Ivanna said as she took the printout to examine it. "I hope they're "quick" with that analysis" crysta said as she built a model airplane, sitting the airplane glue dangerously close to mary. " Pretty puppies" mary stated with a goofy grin.

on board the big hurty thing..

"They will pay for having a horny corpse molest me" Darth Brion grumbled. "Using the destructive power of the big hurty thing, we shall crush them all" he contined, enraged."Why don't we chase them down and use the giant cannons to destroy them..?" linz asked. " I AM THE LEADER HERE, LINZ, my plan is this: I am going to tell them if they do not come over here, unarmed, i am going to talk bad about their mama's. It's so simple, it's genius." darth said as he began an enthralling game of chutes and ladders with mini-elli. "riiight" linz said with a frown.

back on leahya's ship...

"It appears that there is a small compartment in the side of the big hurty thing with darh brion's ass on it, in which if a single shot is fired there, will create a series of explosions within the big hurty thing, ultimately destroying it all" Ivanna stated."I'm yo man!" Q practically screamed with joy." Good luck, "young" skyhumper" crysta said, almost in tears."It's been a crazy ride, Q-dawg, but it all comes down to this" alan said as he handed Q his lucky gary coleman's foot."you will do well, haHA" ASTA calmly stated.Da bacca gave Q a big hug. R33D, Ivanna, and even Mary wished him well in their own way as well. It was do or die time. Well, do or die, or just don't do and be a "big stupid poopie head loser". All in all, you get the picture though.Nonetheless, Q boarded his nimble but able fighter, along with R33D as a navigator and flew off to destroy the big hurty thing once and for all.

As young skyhumper approached the big hurty thing, he began to question whether he could actually pull it off, whether he could actually do it.. Then he remembered something his old uncle jason had once told him, "Don't wear hats made from stange owls heh heh heh ah heeeeee heeee" He then realized this was really useless to him. Suddenly, he saw the ghostly blue image of Dustin Karaoke sitting in the seat next to him "Use the plan, Q" the ghost said."I fear I am not ready" Q said with fear in his voice. "You must go to the greatest plan master to ever live to complete your training after this is over, his name is yoba" Dustin added. "Man dat's da last time i smoke dat shih" Q said as he shook his head. He then slowly approached the big hurty thing, got in postion, closed his eyes, fired, and accelerated out of there. Much to his disbelief, in his rear view mirror, (sure it had a rear view mirror, don't argue with me) Q saw the big hurty thing exploding violently. "SCOOOOOOOOORE!" he yelled with sheer glee.Unbeknownst to Q, darth brion and his closest associates had gotten in their escape pod and fled before the explosion. The battle was over, but not the war.

to be continued....?