1. the invention and widespread use of the cellular phone.
2. little richard runs for the senate..
3. little richard's little dog runs for the house. .
4.a small child from cape cod exclaims "my arm is of the happy earthworm people" at precisely 6 pm eastern standard time, on june 7, 2003. .
5. asta's boss cuts his mullet and refrains from using vulgar language while on the job..
6. gary coleman and fidel castro are both caught in a firey nuclear explosion, thus mutating them together, forming a conglomerate of unstoppable evil. .
7. a young Iraqi boy no older than 15 will sputter incessantly for 7 hours straight. .
8. the marquis de sade teams up with gloria estefan to cover the divynls' "i touch myself". .
9. tammy faye baker and christina aguilera are both burned at the stake for hair bleach abuse and being repeat eyeshadow/mascara offenders. .
10. cheese becomes indiscernable from less attractive dairy products, like yogurt. .
11. the rahn family of peoria,illinois names their firstborn child moe. .
12. april 25 is deemed "caligula appreciation day", and is widely accepted in america, especially among the right-wingers. .
13. north dakota is known as "the blood state"..
14. the words "aboot" and "eh" will be eliminated from the Canadian vocabulary...and given to random U.S. citizens. .
15. asdfjkl; .
16. the earth will be overrun by damned dirty apes. .
17. root beer usurps the throne of hell and exiles satan to detroit..
18. the freckle faced llama will obsess over whether to stab himself with a spork or a mongoose foot. .
19. A porpoise, shaped not unlike the Galapagos Islands, will be seen flying over downtown New York. .
20. calvin klein will be led through the village streets, wearing his scarlet letter and he will be bombarded by both rotting vegetables and volatile chemicals. .
21. If you read this prophecy, 70% of your brain will turn to mush. .
22. a pee-friendly edict will be passed, demanding that there be a peeing section in all public pools..
23. The squirrels of the world will unite and try to form a one world communist squirrel government. damned commie rodents... .
24. france is cast into the pit of smoldering cabbage. .
25. thine eyes will see the glory of the coming of the 125%..
26. tone loc is ordained as a priest, and celebrates by throwing a huge party in the sistine chapel, complete with idiotic shenanignas, fornication, and illegal drug use..
27. A cyclops, wearing a shirt that says"I am not a cyclops" will destroy the sears tower with a giant steel dildo. .
28. slugs, enraged with the decimation of their kind by salt, exact their revenge by pouring barium hydroxide over delinquent children. .
29. the earth's magnetic poles disappear for a limbo minute. .
30. steve case is freeze-dried, sealed in an air-tight container, and launched into space in the hopes that hostile aliens find it, open it, and are thusly annihilated..
31. The term "Snooker" will become the next big catch phrase, and will be considered by some as a lesser expletive. .
32. in the year 2002, pope john paul II becomes the wwf's intercontinental champion. .
33. michael bolton takes over the PLO and changes its cause to the liberation of pedophiles. .
34. Gilbert Godfried is voted "Most likely to be gutted alive with a rusty coathanger and fed his own entrails" by People magazine readers. .
35. weathermen across the world decide that snow is passe, and replace this form of precipitation with fish hooks..
36. danny elfman tries to take credit for writing the communist manifesto, which incites a 3rd world war. .
37. !!!!!!!!!1.
1. HHHHHHHHHH.
2. the answer is alan greenspan..
3. eveybosy will learn of the plan and practice eit, and be nie, l?.
4. fluffiness and effervescence shall lay waste to all impurities..
5. smuckers shall strike australia with furious vengeance and great anger. smuckers is violent..
6. cotton mittens shall be replaced with coke bottles..
7. 23,421 children shall be simultaneously sprayed in the eyes with pepper spray, then fed to jackals..
8. dennis the menace shall lead the golden age under the alias "dentist the menace".
9. a nun wearing medieval armor will tackle the pope and say "who's your daddy, popey?".
10. pluto will crash into neptune, creating an overabundance of paperclips..
11. joe lieberman becomes an avid fan of 2 live crew. joe so ho'nyyy..
12. a hobo dressed in a squirrel-skin vest will urinate on margaret thatcher's new llama.
13. mtv will be overthrown in a hostile takeover by CMT.
14. freestyle pyrotechnics and synchronized demolitions replace all swimming related events at the summer olympics..
15. FUH DAT.
16. a band of gypsies will conquer Castle Rock, Maine and become one with stephen king..
17. raves will be renamed fred, so everyone will go to fred's for drugs. and ecstacy will be renamed "the doldrums"..
18. it will be discovered that mel blanc does a voiceover for fran drescher..
19. vegetables will rise up and plant farmers..
20. baal decides to usurp the presidency while gore remains standing around bitching and george W sniffs illegal adhesives..
21. pokemon will be exposed to extremely dangerous nuclear wastes and become "chernobylmon"..
22. steve urkel discovers that the human genome is bunk. it's just a coloring book..
23. don king's hair will succumb to the forces of gravity.
24. south african frogs will uprise and overthrow the french government.
25. suh my dih, lest you be consumed by the flame that is the 125%.
26. carpet lint will be manufactured and used as a rocket fuel..
27. bob dole will be arrested for selling cattle organs on the black market..
28. korn and limp bizkit will have their own kids show called "Korny Bizkits"..
29. a special peanut butter gestapo shall be instituted internationally to guarantee a clean spot in every jar of peanut buttery goodness.
30. guido and the boys will finally catch the whipping boy and make him "sleep with da fishies".
31. ketchup will replace cement as the standard use for sidewalks. sandpaper replaces toilet paper..
32. papa roach is sealed inside of yanni, and yanni is sealed inside of a vault in kent, ohio. kent, ohio is thusly sealed inside of a trained seal. the trained seal is then thrown into the smouldering pit of cabbage with the frenchmen. both are never to be heard from again. ever..
33. the american flag will be replaced with a cage full of rabid monkeys.
34. being a polar bear counts as a minority..
35. tommy hilfiger is covered in bees and thrown under the flaming thresher while everyone dances around singing "hoooyeah"..
36. an esoteric eggplant (alliteration, wow!!!!!!2) makes outrageous brownies, and yet he is still exiled to greenland with erik the red..
37. it is found that frosted flakes isn't sugary, but is instead covered with dandruff..
38. !!!!!!!!!!2.