| 5 Reasons Not to Live in Texas |
| The net is always a good way to scrounge up information about great things. Recently, I found a site that showed a whole bunch of crazy laws. Real laws that make you wonder who is in charge and making up these crazy things. I've listed and blasted five of my favorites, but believe me, there are a ton of them. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Texas, I just find these laws ironic. 1. It is illegal to shoot a buffalo from the second story of their hotel. Let me tell you what is wrong with this. First of all, I can't say for certain how CLOSE a buffalo will get to your hotel, but I know that if history has taught us anything, you might want to find your local book suppository. And get yourself an Italian made rifle and arm yourself to the teeth. Those buffalo's hides are hard to penetrate. So unless your hotel is in the middle of the Gobi Desert, which last I checked is nowhere near the US, you don't have to worry about breaking this law. 2. It is illegal to commit homicide unless you tell the person exactly how and when you are going to kill them. Yet another wacky law from the state that brought you the Spurs and the Rockets. I can see a lot of people going crazy on this. "Hey, Ted, I'm going to cut off your head with this rusty saw at 2:06AM while your sleeping. Oh, and don't bother calling the police, what I'm doing is now perfectly legal." 3. In San Antonio, it is illegal to respond in a flirting manner using your eyes or your hands. Well guys, I guess that blowjob is out of the question. Oh, and forget having her look up while doing this. This has to be one of the most retarded thing I've ever heard, considering you'd have to be blind just to obey this one. I'd hate to be an Italian in this situation. Nothing bad, just they like to convey messages with their hands. Which sucks, cause if you live in Texas and your Italian, I'll come visit you in jail. 4. In Kingsville, it is unlawful for two pigs to have sex on the cities airport property. Isn't this one obvious? Do we even have to make this a law? Cause last I checked, if you see a couple of pigs having sex in your airport terminal, you're either watching your fatass parents grabbing the local attention, or this isn't an airport, you're daydreaming on your Uncle Lester the Child Molester's farm. 5. The entire Encyclopedia Britannica has been banned from Texas because it has a formula for making beer at home. What? Are you fucking serious? Has prohibition come back? And when was making beer illegal in ANY state? Beer is as legal as your grandma stealing pencil sharpeners from the Dollar Store cause her senility has finally set in. Go ahead, make your beer and moonshine. Cause I'm pretty sure unless the cops were to outlaw homemade beer, they may as well make sodomy legal. |