| 5 Suggestions To Restore The Spirit of America |
| There has to be a way to bring back our faith in a togetherness kind of America. I know there is, I've seen it, in the faces of the children that got run over by motorcycle cops. Anyway, how do you look someone in the face and say: "I'm proud to be an American"? If you finish that sentence by saying "Where at least I know I'm free." You're a fucking faggot. 5. Stop Documentaries God, I can't stress this enough. When will people realize that documentaries are what is killing our faith in a more loved country? Sure, Micheal Moore paints an eloquent picture of a demure and sadistic economy, but do we really give a shit what the fat fuck has to say? I thank God that sandy vagina got blown up in Team America...I haven't heard much of him since. There are some non-political ones like the ones that the guy who ate all that McDonalds shit did, although he recently released a pointless dick-grabber of a film about trying to find Osama Bin-Laden. And that ended in him basically jerking off in front of a mirror for 2 weeks. Make a documentary about a giant kitten who enjoys eating people covered in honey mustard sauce, and shut the living fuck up. 4. Tits and Swearing on TV, Please! Stupid FCC, cracking down on every "weiner" and "douchebag" uttered on stupid fucking NBC shows that nobody should be watching. You know that should be 3.5, cause NBC should stop airing shows that only faggots and retards like to watch. Cause Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock needs to die. Now. But seriously, how cool would it be to turn on How I Met Your Mother and see Allison Hannigan looking at herself in the mirror naked while Neil Patrick Harris comes in with this gay self and just starts fapping it while saying really racist jokes about the Pope fucking a panda bear? You know I'd be glued to the tube. 3. Stick Obama and Hilary In a Room and Watch them Suffocate. Seriously. 2. Kill All the Protesters This is why cops beat the shit out of hippies in the 60's...Vietnam was all the rage, and you couldn't help but grit your teeth to see some guy in a poncho raising his fist in the air to protest the establishment. What kind of fucking white trash asshole do you have to be to protest people kicking ass for our country, and call yourself an American? Stick Mr. Bong in fatigues and give him a M16 and tell him to deal with it. Stick his gay ass in the middle of the warzone and watch as he cries and begs for forgiveness. Then watch as General Petraeus wacks off to his mutilated corpse getting humped to death by emaciated dogs. 1. LOSE THE EGO, YOU EGOTISTICAL EGO-FUCK! Honestly, how cool do you sound when you tell someone you just did a backflip over your parent's mini-van? How cool will you be when you slip and break your retard neck, Fonzie? We are all egotistical, overconfident fuckfarts who love to brag about being the greatest country on the planet, and we wonder why people hate us? You make 200K a year for jerking off handicap people all day, and cry at CNN news reports when you hear that terrorists hate you. I don't know why Mexicans flock to this country, there's nothing to do here but get raped by crackpot theories and listen to people bitch on and on about how many times they got laid at Sarah's party last week, Jesus Pogo-Flipping Christ, you people are full of yourselves. Get over it and lick a dick. |