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| JANE SOHN: The Blonde Beneath Also, The Truth of Avacadoes |
| Janey Poo was born on a grey day in November, long ago. Though she was born slightly prematurely, her underdeveloped lungs and stomach have never felt the loss of air or food. This is due in part to her skills at begging. At the age of four, she had the "I'm cute so give me some food" look down perfectly. Her idol, this stunning bookworm to your left, was a girl by the name of Sarah, who came by her dark lustrous locks naturally (almost). |
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| Oh! I forgot to mention that Jane, while genetically Korean, was actually born blonde. Her mother dyed her hair raven black at the time of birth (that grey day), but all her friends know the truth. |
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| We were speaking of food. And Sarah. Jane's affinity for food led to a very close bond between herself and Sarah. And despite her very vocal denial of the fact, avacadoes were actually her very favorite treat. Unfortunately, her secret passion was deadly....as we will find out soon. Meanwhile, the story of Jane's life was acted out in pantomimes. |
| Jane, being a closet blonde, wanted nothing more than to fit in. When she met Eddie Lee and Kim Kim (see links at HOME), her dreams came true. Ed's technological background, along with Kim's social status, led to her speedily completed education in plastic surgery (don't ask me why). She hired Sarah to play background music in the waiting room. |
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| Unlike anyone else in the medical field, Jane managed to skip all usual internships and go straight to the operating table. However, one particular incision (on the nose of a VERY irate, drunk Presidential hopeful) resulted in a medical malpractice suit. Her life savings gone, Jane was forced to reacquaint herself with begging for food. Of course, Sarah fed her, like always. And Sarah found out about the avacadoes..... |
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| Now, it's a little-known fact that a connection between blonde-ness, Korean-ness, and severe allergic reactions to avacadoes does exist. Sarah found this out the hard way. One day, when Jane was around, she offered up the guacamole, and Jane fell dead on the spot. She was merely 38 -- young, but more successful and beautiful than anyone she knew. |
| That was for Jane, and I hope she'll leave me alone now. Hey, why don't YOU bug her? [email protected] HOME |