It was my freshman year of high school; he was a senior. He hadn't a moment in his day for me. We were in band together, but that was it, we hardly knew each other. Maybe we were lucky that the band was so small that it was impossible not to know everyone, at least by name. It was also common practice to date within the circle of band people, so eventually he'd have to run out of options, right? I had never dated anyone at all through all my years of school. We were a competing marching band, so that meant many bus trips together to various places, having a great time no matter what. Well, as a senior Jason took the opportunity to make a little speech of encouragement to us during one such trip, on September 10, 1994 to be exact. I remember the date, but I'm not sure where we went. But anyway, Jason had been through the worst thing a band member could think of, the dissolution of a great band program. He was one of the remaining from the days of the "Buzzin' Dozen". I happened to come in on the rise back up. He made a very short speech, and as he did so he walked through the aisle, coming to a stop exactly where I was sitting. At that moment, right then and there, I knew that he was "the one". I can only say that it must have been God who told me, I know there really wasn't a good reason why I knew that I loved him, I just did. And so I began praying that he would someday be mine, forever, and that we would live happily ever after.
He began dating one of my friends, and I longed for it to be me who was wrapped in his arms. Later in the year I felt my first touch from him. It happened rather strangely, but it is permanently affixed to my mind. We were in the band room, playing around, playing band Uno actually I think. Well, Jason got the notion that he would flip me with the rubber band. I rather weakly put up my hand to stop him, and he did what I thought quite weird. He put his hand up to mine, and for an instant his fingers intertwined with mine. His only comment was that my hands were cold; I didn't say a thing. We went on a trip that year to Disney World with a cruise to the Bahamas. By then my friends, I don't know how, had figured out my little secret. So they left me alone with him on the boat for a short time. We just sat there. When they came back he became a bit more flirty with me. He whispered something to me. I think it had to do with someone's shoes smelling like something. Later on deck, just before landing, we came in contact again, this time he was merely pushing me out of his way, though he easily could have made it through without touching me. Yes, for the longest time, even the slightest touch from him stuck with me, each time giving me some small glimmer of hope. Still I prayed. Then he graduated. At graduation we performed a piece where I, playing my saxophone, accompanied him, playing his trumpet, in a beautiful melody, made even more so by the feeling that it gave me to be doing something with him. There was a graduation party held at my friend's house for her brother who happened to be in band and in the same class as Jason. I had to go home to get my stuff so that I could spend the night there. It was raining. I ended up getting taken home by Jason and my friend's brother. He sat beside me for a while as we started a movie that we watched later that evening. I was quite happy that day. For the first time I think I actually felt confident enough to flirt with him, if that's what you want to call play fighting with him over who's going to pick up the cards. He wrestled me to the ground and made me do it. Or, who's going to be able to keep the pool stick. I won that one, throwing him onto my friend's bed and standing over him triumphantly. Still, nothing, and still I prayed. |
