�Naw, I think you�re holding together fine,� says famous writer/director Michael Moore.
Thanks, Michael, you seem like a level-headed guy, if you think so I�m sure�..
Shit.
I�m hallucinating. I am going insane. Ah well, at least it�ll be interesting. And as long as he�s here�.
Hey, Michael, you know in Fahrenheit, you ask a bunch of senators to sign their kids up for military service? Isn�t that unfair?
�Well, voting for war when you have no stake in it is unfair, because then you�re playing with people�s lives.�
I know that�s what you were getting at, but it�s not the senators sending their children to war. The children choose whether or not to go to war. It�s an unfair question.
�You agree with my point, right?�
Yeah, but you messed it up. You should have rephrased it, asked if they would have voted the same if their children were in the army, or were going to be drafted. When you�re talking to millions, you have to hold yourself to higher standards. You said it over and over, and being so fundamentally defective in that thought might make people think that you�re messed up in other areas.
�I thought you liked the movie?�
I loved it. But that�s why I�m picking at it. I want your next one to be good too, better even. Like in Columbine, when you abused Charlton Hesston. That was mean, man. I know that one of the effective parts of your movies is when you, representing the common man, attack someone from the halls of power over one of their fuckups. It�s cathartic, because the viewer transfers himself to you, as if he�s yelling at the jerk. I know the movies are weaker without scenes like that, but when you reach for a target like you did with the Hesston thing, you come across as a bully. He�s like 90, and you�re acting like he killed a girl. He just advocates private ownership of firearms. C�mon, man. The same thing happened with the senators.
�Good point. I feel like a changed man.�
Good, I�.what? I was just pointing out where you�
�The polar bears are attacking! I�m off to save my light bulbs!�
Hey, wait, don�t��aww, fuck you, Michael Moore. You suck as a hallucination. Send Johnny Depp next time. I bet he�ll at least hang around for a drink.