Apparently, I am such a person. Whoopdy friggin doo.
Yes, I am the one my associates call to calm down an "irate" costumer, or to simply tell someone, "No ma'am, I'm sorry, we can't do that. And I'm also sorry you're too kriffing stupid to read the stupid sign that's right in front of your stupid face," in a much more dignified way. I'm also probably the best register operator, besides the managers and my fellow Costumer Service-capable associates. The latter was the stupid mistake that GOT me on CD. Sheesh, no appreciation, no respect!
Now my DCR company is VERY careful about it's advertisement and in-sore sinage: a bit misleading, but if you READ it, there's no problems or confusions.
In the girls department we have a rounder or pajama sets and lounge pants. On top of said rounder is a sign that reads "Selected Girls LOUNGE PANTS- 2 for $12." Our computer/register system rings up the first at the regular price, and the second one a lower price, to equal $12,
One night I had the, uh... honor of Desk Duty. Among her purchases where two pairs of lounge pants... from the sleepwear department, which is ladies, not girls.
I ring up her selections, knowing that my computer won't make a mistake. Last of all I scan the lounge pants and hit the total key.
"Wait, those lounge pants were supposed to be $6."
I feed out the receipt tape to see what they rang as, then compare the tags. "No, they're $8 each."
"NO," she replies, rather rudely. "They're $3 a piece. They're two for $6."
That one surprises me. Where on Earth or otherwise do we have a 2 for 6 sale? "No, ma'am, I'm sorry, we don't have any lounge pants for $3."
"Look," she says, raising her voice as if any moron in the world should see it her way. As well any moron should, and does, but I'm no moron. "There is a sign in the girls department that says 'Lounge Pants 2 for 12,' and since everything is half off, it's $6."
At this point I can't make up my mind whether to laugh in her face or to scream in terror at the realization that people really ARE this stupid.
"Yes ma'am, I know which sign you're talking about, but if you read it, it says "selected girls lounge pants 2 for $12."
Now she all but yells at me. "But these ARE girls pants and it's half off the LOWEST price!!!"
I check the tag on the pants. As I thought, ladies, from the sleepwear department. "No ma'am, I'm sorry, these are LADIES pants, and our price policy is half off the lowest TICKETED price. I can't go any lower than $8 a piece."
"But your sign says $12!!!!!"
"Yes ma'am, it does, but these pants don't meet the criteria for that particular sign. It is store and company policy, I canNOT go any lower than 8."
She broods for a few minutes, before shrugging and saying irritably, "fine, whatever, what's my total?"
I hit the total key again and read the amount to her as plesantly as ever, and she hands me a credit card. I swipe her card, after insisting on seeing her ID (just because I wanted to tick her off more). The register requests validation, then comes back with the prompt, "82 APPROVE OR VOID." Do not honor. Bad card. Probably stolen.
I hand the card back to her. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'll have to take another form of payment."
"What?!?! I've been using that card all day!!"
I shrug. "I'm sorry ma'am, it's telling me do not honor. I can accept another form of payment."
She shakes her head firmly. "No, forget it."
"Alright." I pull a void card off the pack. "I just need you to sign this so I can have the transaction terminated."
But she's already halfway out of the store. "Wench," I mutter, and call my manager to come void my transaction. As the reason for void, I write: "costumer couldn't read signage and credit card was declined." The manager laughed and keyed it out.
And so ended a wonderfully entertaining and rather eventful night at the Desk of Doom.