Subject:
STRICTLY PERSONAL
My name is Mr Ian Shipman a British Citizen, I am the Credit Manager in
a Bank here in the Republic of Benin. I am contacting you with regard to transfer of a huge sum of money from
a deceased customer's account.
Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one
apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you
that everything has been taken care off, and there is no risk in this
transaction. I decided to contact you due to the
urgency of this transaction.
PROPOSITION
I am the Account Officer of a foreigner who died in an Air Crash along
with his wife on the 31st October 1999 in an
Egyptian Airline 990 with other passengers on board. (Frederick M.
Wong) You can confirm this from the website below
which was published by CNN.WEBSITE
http://www.cnn.com/US/9911/02/egyptair990.list/index.html
Since his death, none of his Next-of-Kins has come forward to put
claims for this money, because they all died in the same
accident, himself and his wife (May their soul rest in peace).
Though, the bank has made several publications to locate the family
members, but all was not successful. We cannot release
the funds from his account unless someone applies for claim as the
next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated in our banking
guidelines.
Upon this discovery, I now seek your permission to have you stand as a
next of kin to the deceased, as all documentations
will be carefully worked out by me for the funds (US$35,000,000.00) to
be released in your favour as the beneficiary's next of kin.
Because after five years the money will be called back to the bank's
treasury account as unclaimed bills and the money shared
amongst the Directors of the Bank. So it was as a result of this, I
conceived the idea of searching for a Foreigner who can apply
as the next of Kin/Beneficiary.
It may interest you to know that we have secured from the probate
division an Order of Mandamus to locate any of the deceased
beneficiaries. Please acknowledge receipt of this message in acceptance
of our mutual business endeavor by furnishing me with
the following informations, if you are interested.
1. A Beneficiary name, In order for me to prepare the documents for
transfer of the
funds in your name.
2. Direct Telephone and fax numbers.
3 Home address.
For our personal contact and mutual trust in each other. I shall be
compensating you with 25% on final conclusion of this project,
and have set aside 5% for expenses and 70% shall be for me becauase I
intend to retire after the conclusion of this transaction and
can use my own share to establish and invest in your country.
If this proposal is acceptable by you, please endevour to contact me
immediately. Do not take undue advantage of the trust I have
bestowed on you.
I await your urgent mail to my personal Email:
[email protected]
Regards,
Ian Shipman
From:
To:
Subject:
Hello Ian,
My name is Ima and I run a chairty called COQUE - the Californian Office of
Quelling Unethical Eating.� We are a charity tyring to prevent people from
eating meat.
As Africans eat very little meat, I would like to help you in your
cause. [Well, it is as good a reason as any!]
What would you like me to do?
Hear from you soon,
Ima Choad.
From:
Subject:
Dear Ima,
Thanks for your mail. Please furnish me with a number I can reach you
so that we can speak on this.
Shipman
[Now, I already had several mugus on the go at once and got myself a tad confused on exactly how far and what I had said to each; I was actually relatively harsh here by accident as I thought I had already pointed out my hatred for mobile phones.]
From:
To:
Subject:
I travel the world garnering support for my cause and raising donations.�
Why, only last week I was in Germany getting a $500,000 donation from David
Hasselhoff (the guy from Baywatch).
I do not believe in cell phones as they cause brain cancer.� Hence, it is
simpler and quicker to just email me what you want.� I am a busy woman so please
don't dick me around, I will do you the favour but the animals of the world
cannot afford to wait whilst I run around in circles for you.
Sincerely,
Ima Choad.
PS: I may have an opening to travel to Africa in the near future, so maybe
we can do this in person? [Trying to bait the hook.]
[Time passes and I figure he is shat off with me for my harsh tone previously - I send an apologetic letter.]
From:
To:
Subject:
I am sorry if I came across you too strongly in my last post - I actually
thought you were someone else and had already asked me for my cell number.�
Living in LA, I actually cop a bit of flak for not having a cell phone and I am
a tad touchy on the topic.
Spekaing of coming across, my late husband used to come across me so
strongly sometimes that I would end up physically choking on the load he forced
upon me.� He always promised to give me a pearl necklace instead of forcing me
orally but that never eventuated.
Anyway, given that we will respond via email to each other (which seems to
actually work very efficiently and effectively), what do you need�this
charitable but sucessful Buddhist�to do?
Hear from you soon.
Ima.
[Still no bite - let's try one more time...]
From:
To:
Subject:
Do you still want my help, or not?
Buddha say to exercise patience will all of creation's creatures, but I am
a busy woman...
Get back to me if you still want my help,
Ima.
[Ta da!]
From:
Subject:
Yes,
I need a tel number we can talk details before I give you further
informations regarding this.
Shipman
[The dickwad still just does not get it, does he?]
From:
To:
Subject:
Dear Ian:
I must not have communicated effectively before, as I thought I had made it
clear to you that we will have to do this via email.� I travel a lot, often
around the world, for my job.� I do not own a mobile cell phone as they upset
the equilibrium inside one's head and cause damage to the brain and inner
eye.
I percieve that we can get nail this transaction using email - we seem to
respond to each other quite quickly.
Just tell me what you want me to do and I will instigate the necessary
actions,
Respectfully,
Ima.
From:
Subject:
Dear Ima,
Please do not write me again, as I do not trust you.
Bye
Shipman
[How dare he? Who does this fucker think he is talking to?]
From:
To:
Subject:
Dear Mr Shipman:
You email me asking for help, requiring that I entrust you with details
about my business, etc and you make a rude statement that you don't trust me?�
Hey, buster, you could very well just use me and then not pay me anything, but I
follow Buddhist principles and try to help others at all times.
I run a successful charity, I get sizeable donations from many sources and
have provided well over $13 million in aid within the past 7 years that I run
this institution.� I do not need the money, I was simply trying to help you, you
rude buffoon!
Is this because I do not own a cell phone?� I can readily provide you with
many independent research articles about mobile phone use�linked to�brain
cancer, Alzheimer's and the like.� Simple Buddhist tenets state that the soul is
contained within the head and, personally, I prefer not to have it continually
bombarded by radiation...
The very fact that we have corresponded so readily via email demonstrates
that I have historically always been able to operate all of my transactions
perfectly well without one.
Quite frankly, I do not care if you are rude to me - it is water off a
toilet duck's back and I am sure your rudeness will be punished in your next
life.� That said, if you finally come to your senses and just see that I am
simply a virtuous woman trying to help someone who seemed to be in need, then I
will still be happy to help you.� It is within my personal philosophy of
harmonic sinusoidal karma to always be prepared to forgive.
Respectfully,
Ima.
From:
Subject:
I will think about this and get back to you
Shipman
[Yeah, you just go on and do that, fuckface!]
From:
To:
Subject:
Good man...
I am not some "wacko" just because I dislike cell phones.� I find it ironic
that a vast majority of the reports against them come from Sweden and Norway
when two of the largest manufacturers of them come from that area, also.
Hear from you soon,
Ima.
[Well, whaddaya know, the desire for money won the fight... It is as if we never had that previous little "spat".]
From:
Subject:
Dear Ima
Thanks for your prompt reply and your expressed willingnesss to work in
partnership with me.
Let me very honest to you that sincerity, trust and your maximum
cooperation is the key to this goal we are about to achieve the desired
result for our benefit.
This is legitimate and takes the due process of law, I have also made
all analysis and strategies before contacting you and I beleive with
your help, this would be a success story for both of us. , I will use my
office in this bank for perfect the necessary documents in your favour.
And as matter of fact you are to keep this transaction as serect and
confidential.
First you will have to write an Official Letter to our bank informing
them that you are the Next Of Kin to the ''Late FEDERICK M. WONG'' who
was a customer in our bank and you want to cliam your money now.
Attach is a draft copy of the Application Letter as a guide, please go
through it, study it and fill all the information required and the bank
official email address immediately E-mail:
[email protected]
With my position in this bank, once you send the application letter,
the Area Manager will forward it to my desk as the Account officer of the
Late MR. FEDERICK WONG, to confirm and process the release of the funds
into your account.
I will immediately prepare the necessary documents in your favour and
transfer the money into your nominated bank account.
If you have any question, contact me immediately only through my
private email address for security reasons Email:
[email protected]
Regards,
Shipman
==========================================================================================================================================
THE SAMPLE TEXT OF APPLICATION LETTER FOR THE CLAIM.
ATTN: AREA MANAGER.
ECOBANK OF COTONU
REPUBLIC OF BENIN
EMAIL: [email protected]
RE: APPLICATION FOR THE RELEASE OF (US$35MILLION DOLLARS)
I AM WRITING THIS LETTER IN RESPECT OF MY LATE RELATIVE'S FUND FEDERICK
M. WONG
WHO DIED IN AN AIR CRASH ALONG WITH HIS WIFE ON THE 31ST OCTOBER 1999.
I AM SORRY FOR NOT BEEN ABLE TO COME FORWARD TO CLAIM MY LATE
RELATIVE'S MONEY
AS STATED IN SOME OF THE DOCUMENTS YOU HAVE OVER THERE IN YOUR BANK.
I'M NOW SET
TO CLAIM MY INHERITANCE US$35M (THIRTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES
DOLLARS) WHICH
HAS BEEN IN YOUR POSSESSION BEFORE MY RELATIVE'S UNTIMELY DEATH.
I WOULD BE VERY GLAD IF MY INHERITANCE ISSUE IS LOOKED INTO AND THE
FUND PAID TO
ME.
BELOW IS MY PERSONAL INFORMATION.
YOUR FULL NAME AND YOUR FULL ADDRESS.............
YOUR AGE.........................................
YOUR PRIVATE PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS....................
BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS...................................
FURTHERMORE, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION OR WOULD WISH TO CONTACT ME ON
THIS
MATTER, PLEASE
FEEL FREE TO DO SO BY CONTACTING ME ON MY CONTACT INFORMATIONS ABOVE.
I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS.
YOURS SINCERELY, [Who, dammit, who? The king of Persia? Your mamma?]
[Well, whaddaya know, the desire for money won the fight... It is as if we never had that previous little "spat".]
From:
To:
Subject:
Okay, you previously emailed me that you did not know if you could trust me
(for no apparent reason).
Well, I ask you in turn, how do I know I can trust you?� I want to quickly
find out a bit more about you.� I have attached a photo of myself; how about you
do the same?� Because passports and licenses can be readily forged, I would like
a clear photograph of you holding up a sign with my name on it, "Ima
Choad".
>Taking a photo and emailing to me will only take you a couple of minutes; I
do not think that this is too much to ask to ensure integrity of this
transaction.� As soon as you do that, I will fill out the form.� Of course, if
you incur some costs in getting this photo, I will be happy to re-imburse you
for it.
Thanks in advance,
Ima.
[I don't hear a peep for quite some time; I am just about to try again (whilst going through a period of trying to revive dead-end threads) when I get this out of the blue...]
From:
Subject:
Are u ready to help now?
Shipman>
From:
To:
Subject:
Dear Chipman:
I was never *not* ready to assist you, but I re-iterate that I have a base
requirement on all of my business dealing to actually get to know who I am
working with (it is simply the way things work here in the disassociative
States).
My request was simple; provide me with a clear picture of you holding up a
sign with my name, "Ima Choad", on it and I will happily follow any request you
ask.� Of course, I will re-emphasise that any costs you may incur in granting my
wish will be re-imbursed immediately.
Hear from you soon,
Ima.
From:
To:
Subject:
I asked for a photo some time ago and still have not heard from you since
then...
Are you serious about making money, or just pulling my static chain?
I am serious, so how about we get this done...
Conservatively,
IC.
From:
Subject:
Dear IC,
I will appreciate if you can give me a phone number I can speak with
you briefly on this before we can move forward.
Shipman.
From:
To:
Subject:
Hello Ian:
I am currently in transit, on a flight, as we speak (write?).� The very
fact that I replied to you so quickly demonstrates that a phone number will not
be necessary.� I am never in the office and, of course, due to the relatively
covert nature of what we are doing, leaving a message at my office is not an
option...
Just ask your question/s via email and I will answer them soon enough.� I
am, by the way, currently in the former Soviet Republic and will be in a rural
area with very little communication with the outside world.� I have organised my
satellite internet connection but hold very little hope in getting a voice
line.
I am here to save the endangered species of cross-breed between a stoat and
a mink called a moat (could be worse, it could be called a stink, haha!)� I jest
a little bit but it is actually very serious business as they are so rare, there
are only 50 of these creatures in existence.� The Russians want to skin them all
to make one, single coat out of them - they believe that this�item of
clothing�will be worth so much that they can get their country out of debt.�
Note that preventing the creation of this moat coat represents a strong antidote
to the fur industry and its vote in the general fashion commerce.� Those of us
protesting must hurry or it will be too late and we will have missed the boat.�
The leader of the Russion arm of animal protection, CRAP (Combined Russion
Animal Protection),�said (and I quote), "We must smuggle these poor, unfortunate
creatures away from their peril, here, even if we have to float them out via the
Urinal River, or tote them across Mount Frombehind by hand.� If we do not, every
single one of them will have a slit throat and the�hunters will gloat that they
have irreversibly won a victory for the bloated, diseased fur industry." [I could not work out any way of fitting dote in without being too contrived so made do
with antidote and bloated rather than just bloat.]
So, as you can see, whilst I am perfectly happy to help you, I do also have
other "fish to fry",
Ima.
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Last Update: 03/07/2004 |