Donna Hoffman, LPN-ET
Much has been said and written about the ostomate who has to undergo ostomy surgery, their recovery from the surgery and what is so important-recovery emotionally. But, what about the spouse and children? They must suffer in their own way. In the hospital, doctors and nurses hurry around seeing to the ostomate's physical needs, the ostomy visitor sees to the emotional needs.
Who is there for the family? Spouses suffer just as much if not more. They are the ones who have to put up with the outbursts of anger, despair and depression. They work with us giving love and support and have to go home to an empty house and wonder - what next? There is usually no one to help them through their anxious days of worry and uncertainty. "How will my loved one accept me? After all, I'm not the one that has an ostomy. Will he or she change or be the same?"
After the ostomate comes home from the hospital, the family and spouse has to put up with inconveniences such as pieces of skin barrier stuck to the bathroom floor, cements spilled on a favorite brush or comb, irrigating tubing hanging in the bathroom, and having to learn to leave the bathroom free at a certain time of the day. And of course, the frequent pit stops when traveling. Spouses frequently ask, "what about our sex life? Will it be the same? Will it be worse, better, or maybe none at all?"
Spouses and families need the same support during the hospitalization phase and recovery at home as the ostomate. They need to be included in the teaching of ostomy care, to feel they are still wanted and needed. Children should have the surgery explained to them so Mom or Dad will seem the same and love them all the more. They will not think anything of it if explained in a simple understanding way.
An ostomy is nothing to be ashamed of and should not be treated any different than someone who has to take insulin or wear a prosthesis. Spouses should also have the option to talk to another spouse who has had ostomy surgery in the family.
Via ostomy.evansville.net |
