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| CATTERWAULS |
| This is where you will find out about me. I mean, really about me...the things that chase themselves around inside my head. Here I have some things I've written. Writing often helps me say things that never would come out right in the spoken word. Some writings are old...like from my high school years. And some are written by people I know. If it says "Rachel Smith" instead of "Swander," I wrote it before I was married. I know they aren't anything super spectacular, but the all came from the heart and are important to whoever wrote them. Anything that you find on this page is from someone who deserves credit for saying it...so if, by chance, you use what you find here in anything of your own, please give credit where it is due. And if you have anything you would like to see published here, send it to me, and I'll look it over. Thank you. |
| BOXES |
| by Rachel Ellen Smith |
| IF PEOPLE CAME IN BOXES, WHAT WOULD YOUR BOX BE? COVERED IN FANCY PAPER, BIG ENOUGH FOR ALL TO SEE? |
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| IF PEOPLE CAME IN BOXES, WHAT WOULD EACH ONE SAY? "IMPORTANT!" "RUSH!" "PLEASE DON'T DELAY!" |
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| IF PEOPLE CAME IN BOXES, HOW WOULD WE BE PACKED? GENTLY, PROTECTIVELY, WITH AN EXPERT PACKER'S KNACK |
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| IF PEOPLE CAME IN BOXES, HOW WOULD WE BE SHIPPED? AIR MAIL, FIRST CLASS, LIKE ANY SPECIAL GIFT. |
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| IF PEOPLE CAME IN BOXES, HOW WOULD THEY BE CARRIED? WITH SLOW, CAREFUL MOVEMENTS--NEVER FAST OR HARRIED. |
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| IF PEOPLE CAME IN BOXES, TO WHOM WOULD THEY BE GIVEN? TO THOSE WISE ENOUGH TO SEE THAT EACH IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN. |
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| LARGE OR SMALL, SHORT OR TALL, TIED OR TAPED, NO MATTER WHAT SHAPE--IT'S NOT THE COLOR, WRAPPING PAPER OR SIZE, BUT WHAT'S INSIDE THAT MAKES US REALIZE: |
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| THAT IF PEOPLE CAME IN BOXES, MAYBE WE WOULD SEE THAT "IMPORTANT," "VALUEABLE," AND "FRAGILE" MIGHT JUST MEAN "YOU" OR "ME," |
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| AND IF PEOPLE CAME IN BOXES, I THINK IT MIGHT BE FAIR IF EACH ONE WERE MARKED: "PLEASE, HANDLE WITH CARE." |
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| Beautiful by Rachel Ellen Smith |
| The sky was beautiful- dark blue with clouds of gray. The snow fell softly down. And I saw in each tiny flake a prayer The innocent words of a child asking when his daddy would come home The mother's tears begging for her daughter's safe return The jobless father crying for his children to be fed The homelss woman seking shelter from the cold The unjustly accused trying to understand The young man on the street wishing for a father's love The tears of God fell down too The softly spoken words: "Lean on me." The sky was beautiful-dark blue with clouds of gray. The snow fell softly down. And I saw in each tiny flake an answer. |
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| Untied Ribbon by Rachel Ellen Smith completed Oct. of 1998 |
| You held our your hands And asked for companionship So I gave you my mind And shared with you my thoughts We spent time together Enjoying the company We broadened each other's horizons And we were happy Then you held out your hands again And asked for affection So I carefully handed you my heart And showed that I cared We grew closer As each day went by And I was content Just to see you smile One time more you held out your hands And you asked to know who I was Ever so gently I let you hold my soul Trusting you with everything in me You carried my mind, heart and soul And you were content for a season But maybe you saw an imperfection Or maybe you just got bored Because one day you returned the to me Placed on my doorstep with no explination But they were no longer mine alone So much of me is you So I placed them in a box And tied it with a ribbon you'd given me I keep that box safely hidden away Just in case you ever come back for it |
| My life goes on And I see you sometimes We never speak of it You have no reason to give Everyone tells me to pull out my box So others may see what it holds But I just can't let it be opened For what I see inside is you I walk through days not thinking I can barely feel anything now And I don't know who I am Everything is so unreal If I could do it all over again I wouldn't change much Only that little thing you didn't like The part that made you walk away You have another to laugh with now I pray she never feels what I do Maybe someone will come my way And the light in my eyes will be real Maybe someday things will be better Maybe one day I'll live again Perhaps you'll call And your voice won't make me cry Maybe I'll find joy in small things again Smell a rose without heartache See a smile And not wish it was yours Until then I sit alone Trying not to hurt, praying I'll get through While the box stays hidden away The ribbon never untied. |
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