Guess what. I am back again for another commentary. This will be the third this week. I guess you could say I am in a zone (or bored to death). I have been enjoying making these commentaries up for all of you and I have been trying to keep them fresh and original and this one is unlike any of my others. Enough with the babble on with the show!

Sometimes you need some help. Sometimes you need to know someone else has felt the same way, been hurt the same, is affected the same. Sometimes being able to bond with a hero of yours helps to bring you understanding to all of the crap going on around you. Sometimes you never even meet the person that you are bonding with or hear their words directly from their own lips. I have this sort of bond with music, more specifically, Billy Corgan and The Smashing Pumpkins music.

I first discovered the Smashing Pumpkins when the Gish CD was released and it was their range that hooked me. I don't mean just that they can do all types of songs but that they can cover a whole range of music within one song and do it tastefully and effectively. I was just enchanted with the way that they could tell a story even without any lyrics. I could feel the happiness, uncertainty, depression, and anger from just the music. Then they interlaced it in ways to tell the story of the gradual procession that we all experience in our feelings. Happiness from a love but the love starts to change leading to uncertainty and depression which finally ends up in rage of emotions that sometimes can not be controlled. All of this flowed from their guitars, bass, and drums. Then with the lyrics came even more of all of these sensations. Gish got me hooked but it wasn't until later that I became infatuated with the group.

Siamese Dream came out and I bought it simply for the greatness of Gish. At the same time Mom and Dad were going through a divorce and a girl had just led me on for 3 monthe while I played the fool. I felt devastated and alone. I felt like I would never be able to deal with it. This was when I became completely enthralled by The Smashing Pumpkins. "Soma" was the first song that really captured me, to this day it is still my favorite song (and I think that Soma would be a beautiful name for a daughter). I have put the lyrics next to further let you know about the song, then I will give you a brief description.

The song begins with low, sad music that can make you feel his pain and his denial. You can close your eyes and picture the story. Then as he realizes that it is all true his pain soon turns to anger as the music goes from beautifully sad tone to a crashing artistic work of loud guitars and well placed feedback. I could relate to every word he said and I realized that I was not alone in my feelings of emotional pain. He had experienced it all as well and was sharing it with me through his music. The song became my friend and with that came my intense love of the Smashing Pumpkins and their music.

The next song that really touched me and helped me move on was "Today" off of the same album. In some ways it really went along with "Soma" it could almost be considered the solution to the first story. Let me throw out the lyrics for you and maybe you will see it as well.

I took this song to heart in many ways. Today is the greatest day I have ever known because it is another day I have gotten to see. No matter what happens it is the greatest day. I also wanted more from life than it could give me and I needed to realize that. I couldn't take back my regrets or change anything from it so I had to make today the greatest. I am sure I probably knew all of these things before but sometimes you need to hear someone else say it to believe it.

The Pumpkins then came out with Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness a 2-disc album in late '95. They were exploring many other areas of rock that they really hadn't ventured into before then. The album was excellent and once again I could relate to many of the songs, especially "ZERO". I will not go in depth on any more songs because I already have on my main two but I will tell you the line I relate to the most. Please don't go thinking that this is constant thought in my head or the Pumpkins' either. Billy Corgan made the statement about the lyric that it is not exactly how he thinks but it is a feeling that comes over many people. So enough with the defense and here it is.

Once again it is not exactly how I think but it is a feeling that can come over me when I see some of the things that go on in the world around me.

The next album released was a great album but the record label gave them very little advertising campaigns and did not really push for radio play. This caused the album to sell poorly and be missed by many people. The music was not what many people had come to expect from the Pumpkins but it was still a great album. Good music and lyrics but not much hype. Their image was slightly changing as well. They were venturing into Goth and many people shunned them for this but the music was great. That just shows how many "super fans" worry about the coolness and not actually care about the music.

Machina then came out a while after and once again the company did not have an ad campaign for the album leading to low sales once again. This album definitely rocks and carries many emotions along with it. Emotions like love, hate, and annoyance. They were venturing even further into the Goth look and new sound. The band even had guitars especially designed to hold the awkward notes they wanted. The song that stood out in my eyes the most on this CD was definitely "I of Mourning". Below are some of the lines that will show you why.

Just as I was talking earlier in this piece, Billy describes here in his own words. He too has let the music soothe him and free him of his pains. I have no trouble relating to him here as you can tell by reading this commentary. Another great album to soothe my heart.

The Pumpkins just released a Greatest Hits album and I have bought it. Although it doesn't have all the songs that I may consider the best but it contains many of the singles and a lot of rare stuff that can not be acquired elsewhere....at least not legally. I definitely recommend it.

Its obviously no surprise that in high school you could bet if you saw me then chances are I was listening to the Pumpkins or drawing their logo on something. I jammed the Pumpkins almost constantly. I could relate to every song and it really did help me. The majority of time now you will still catch me jamming to the Pumpkins. Some people have listened to the Beatles all their lives. Some The Rolling Stones, some The Doors, and others Elvis, personally, I will listen to The Smashing Pumpkins all my life. Their music means so much to me. I don't believe music can make you do things and I am tired of parents using that damn excuse but I do believe it can open your eyes to the world. That is why music means so much to me, especially all of Smashing Pumpkins' songs that helped me live.

Billy Corgan is a huge role model to me. Everyone told him he couldn't sing or play guitar well enough, but he practiced and perservered by becoming a Rock Icon. One thing I would love to do before this life of mine runs out is be able to personally thank him for writing the music that helped me cope, heal, understand, and smile. I am sure he has heard it all the time and maybe it has even lost meaning to him but it would mean a lot to me just to tell him thank you.

The Smashing Pumpkins played their last show together two days short of one year ago but their music plays on. I look forward to all of their solo projects but with the exception of Zwan (Corgan and Chamberlain's new band) I don't know if they can ever equal what they have done under the name of......

Later,
Coopedaddy