Here I am again with another crazy topic for my latest commentary. I will discuss how I believe that I have went through my mid-life crisis at the age of 23. I told you it was crazy but hey maybe we can have fun with it. Enough of the pointless babble that has nothing to do with the topic, let's get on with the pointless babble that does have something to do with the topic!

Earlier this year I had a bad time that lasted quite awhile and made me look at myself closely. As I examined where I was at in life and how I have done thus far, I realized that although I was far beyond my expectations in some areas I was way behind in other areas. I have a great job and have gotten to see the world which put me well beyond my expectations of where I would be in those aspects. Then I began to look at some of the other areas of my life like relationships, myself, and my current personal status. I realized that I had always thought I would be married by this time and especially at that point in time I was farther from that goal than I had ever been. When I thought about myself I saw that I had not been living up to the goal I made when I was younger which was to never grow up completely, always have a little kid left in me to have fun, well that little kid was almost nonexistent then as well. I looked at my personal status and tried to figure out what it was and I realized it was still the naive-easy-to-take-advantage-of person I had always been.

Needless to say I was not happy with my findings to all of these things. I decided I needed to make a change and I wasn't sure how so I did everything I could think of to make myself more like I wanted to be. I always wanted to live life on the edge so I bought a motorcycle (and then another!). This paid off because I found a past time that I really enjoyed and looked forward to. I stopped drinking because I realized that when I did I didn't notice somethings that were going on around me that I should have. I tried to tone down my anger and to some extent I did. I decided that maybe marriage wasn't something I needed to think about at that point and decided I should just enjoy being young. I wanted a way to feel rebelious again and nearly got a tattoo but decided against when I realized that wasn't really me. I began to find out that F*&% it was the best thing to say when things were starting to bother you, blow it off and have fun but I still didn't know how to have fun though.

Since I had just been dealt one of the worst hands I had ever seen I wasn't sure how to have fun aside from my motorcycle. I had lost quite a few "friends" and acquaintances from it and the ones I did still have came around but they couldn't be there all the time. I felt like I was 23 going on 74. I didn't want to leave the bed in the mornings let alone the house. I felt empty and without any reason to be here but I kept going and made it through.

I believe I have changed a lot from everything. I have found ways to have fun whether I am alone or with 20 people. The motorcycle(s) have turned into more of an obsession than a hobby which has its goods and bads. I drink occassionally but not often at all and I feel this is a very good thing. I am NOT married and I don't believe that is a bad thing anymore. I am much more cautious with everyone and although I hate doing that but I feel I have to be anymore. Along with all of that I think that I have gotten a little bit of kid back into me but I am not sure, you dumbo doo doo head. Nyah nyah nyah nyah!!!

Later,
Coopedaddy