Okay so it hasn't been as long as I expected it to be before I got back to doing a commentary so sue me. This one is probably going to be horrible but oh well, here we go.

As I was sitting at home watching an old Saturday Night Live on Comedy Central last night, I realized something. Sporty Spice and Gucci Spice were the Hot ones in the Spice Girls. I then realized I actually knew the names of the Spice Girls, that scared me. Then I realized how ironic it was that Ginger Spice was wearing a dress that said "Mind Power" where the "Mind" was so small you barely noticed it and "Power" was huge and running right across her breasts, which led me to wonder where she thought her power actually was. Anyway through the no-talent musical act and the racial stereotyping skits I somehow started thinking about other things. Things that had nothing to do with Saturday Night Live, funny skits, or Boob Power. Instead things that had to do with my life. New outlooks on my life.

I started thinking about my ex (I don't want to offend her in any way so I am not including her name) again and how I care about her but how being so protective of her got me nowhere. It is so hard for me not to be protective because I do care and I don't want to see her hurt by some of these assholes in the world. I then realized that I had to back off, no matter how bad it hurt or how hard it was, I had to let go. I have to let her be her own person and not try to influence her decision. I have to be happy that she is happy even though she is happy without me. I have to let her be her and hope that she makes the best decisions for her. I have to let her do for her and not for anyone else. Maybe in the end she will decide on me, maybe not. Either way it will be okay as long as it is what is right for her. I told her before we started dating that she needed to be selfish and make the decision for what was best for her, that is what I want her to do this time. If she decides on someone else that is fine as long as she believes they are what is best for her. I simply have to let her be her and step away. It will be hard but I must.

Then I started thinking about a Radiohead song (yes, Radiohead not the Smashing Pumpkins, what is the world coming to) I listened to a lot in High School. The chorus is what really attracted me to the song and it jumped into my head. I will let you read the lyrics before I go any further.

"You do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really hurts. Is that you do it to yourself. Just you, and no one else." It is really unfortunate how true this is to me. I have done much of what I have bitched and complained about to myself. It wasn't everyone else that made me feel like crap or alone, it was me. I am the one with the complete control of me and how I feel. I could have made myself realize everything I had going for me but instead I chose to look at what I had lost, which in all reality was a minimal chunk of all that I have going right for me. Of course there are some things in my life that could be a lot better but in reality I have more going for me than I have going against me. I think that this song is true for each and every one of us, much of that bad shit that happens to us happens because of ourselves. Now that I realize this more than ever I am going to try to deal with it accordingly. I want to thank a person who somehow found this site and read the commentaries and offered her advice for helping me realize this as well. Thanks, Amber.

Who would have thought someone could think about all of this while the "Boob Power" of the Spice Girls haunted their TV set. I know I wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't been me. I hope that I can accomplish everything that these realization presented to me. I know it will be hard and perhaps downright stressful at times, but I have to do it to relieve the stress that awaits on down the road of life. Wish me luck.

Take care,
Coopedaddy

The movie that started it all. It became known as the groundbreaker for spectacular effects and a story that has and will cross many generations. Not only was it a great story but George Lucas was so confident that he started it with episode four and has since gone back to produce the prequels for all of the Star Wars fiends out there. One of the all time greats.