This title comes from a line in the Smashing Pumpkins' song "Age of Innocense" and, although I have heard the song a million times, that line sends so many waves of hope through me that it is unfathomable. Let me just share the verse with you before going on.

You see, I have always been bleeding love for all those who mean something to me. All my friends, all my family, everyone who knows me well will tell you that I am always the one who is there at any moment they need me. I am the one that always puts everyone else before me and I do it because I love these people. I try to be love and I know love flows like blood from me.

At the same time I realize that in this song the line used for this title is not necessarily meant to be a good thing. If you bleed all your love (just as it would if it were blood), you would be left with none for yourself and in a figuritive way die to yourself. You bleed all your love for everyone else but save none for yourself, you are dead because you do not have any to love yourself with but everyone around loves you. That is me. I give it to everyone but myself, that is how I feel I should be. I don't feel I deserve to love myself, and perhaps that is my downfall but that is how I have felt all my life. I don't want to waste any of my emotions on myself, I want to hand them out to those around me.

As my friends put it this weekend, I am no ones enemy. I do not know of anyone who hates me for a justified reason. I do like knowing that. I believe it is because I am the guy that doesn't care who you are or what your background is I can still relate to you and show you that someone cares.

I want to be the perfect friend and I try so hard. I want to be the perfect boyfriend and I try so hard, maybe sometimes too hard. I want to be perfect for everyone and I make sure they know how much it means to me to have them around. Sometimes I don't feel like I am and that troubles me. Sometimes I am made to feel like I have failed at it and that really hurts because I am not good enough for that person.

No matter what I want to continue to be this way. I don't care if I keep any for myself as long as I can give to everyone else. "If you want love, you must be love, but if you bleed love, you will die loved." I will be love and I will bleed love because there is nothing wrong with dying loved.

Take care,
Coopedaddy

Anything with Adam Sandler is definitely a great movie. Here he plays Billy Madison who is about to go all the way through school (kindergarten - High School Graduation) to show his father he can take over the family company. Along the way he falls in love with one of his teachers, Miss Veronica Vaughn. Filled with plenty of immature jokes, goofy acting, and laughs for everyone and the line "Eric's having a baby. Oh feel that kick, he gonna be a soccah playah." You gotta see it.