| Viagra Ranch Welcome to sunny Viagra Ranch where you can bath and parade nude, in public or private, all you want. Enjoy the serene pools named Beaver Creek generally occupied by women with the exception of men voted in by the occupants, and Log Lolly for the men where we found no women were refused although some men had to be voted in. Kitty Holler a dark forest with hidden thatched huts is full of surprises. View film clips of the men�s 10K. Sing along with the bouncing balls. Men�s pushup competition interactive with Spin the Bottle. Last years Pole Bending Champion will try to hold onto his�� ummm, title. He hoisted a Tonka Truck to win his last match. A parade of luscious ladies encourage the competitors in this mind over matter event. �Hang on� for every detail of the fun. A Pick up the Marbles competition for the Ladies. Grab all you can before the timer runs out. You guessed it. A no hands event. All contestants wear lipstick and will be penisized if there is any on the marbles. Penalized* Learn a skill with hands on experience as a masseuse. Find the pleasure zones for bone-us points Horseback riding can be a joyful experience with our valour covered saddles and ladies choice of saddle horns. Stirrups are leather and wood unlike the stainless ones most are used to and un-invasive unless preferred. Last Years Awards Miss Daisy, AKA Brushy Creek won the Fauna Award. Alice McGuinness AKA Wolverton Mountain won the Hi Beam Headlight Trophy. Miss Bitsie May Ghetsom AKA Pimples, was given the Clearasil Plaque. Rod Sterling AKA The Rock was awarded the hard earned UK Cockney Trophy. Bob Cellers AKA Queen, was given the Almost Innie or sometimes called the Almost Any Plaque. Miss Poca Rivers (Indian name Raging Water) AKA Gushin Gerti, won the coveted Orgasm Award sponsored by Cum Quest. Rodknee Peters AKA El Ropo, won hands down the prestigious El Grande Poker Trophy Bill Strokes AKA Manual was presented the Loner or Byma Self Plaque. Emma O. Kay AKA Worm Wiggler gets the Temptus Delight Plaque. Mrs. Pearl Gates AKA Feather, was awarded the Button El Grande Award Dottie Small AKA Tiny was given the Microchip Button Plaque. Niphelia Cleavenger AKA Buttons was awarded the Pikes Peak Award. Miss Felicia Wantshum AKA Awesome Chick, Aka Bin Laydin, was awarded Miss Con-gene-iality as well as the Pole Climbing Award in absentinia. Some call it a Penile Institution. Jack Wells AKA Navy Seal, was awarded the Clit Diver Award. Bull Swinger AKA Boulder, was awarded the Testes Trophy. Tiny Bell AKA Pebbles, AKA Peanuts warded the Smallest Clappers Plaque There were no Grand Canyon Awards last year for lack of participants. Dick Chumley AKA Outback, was banned from the Ranch for favoritism toward �others�. Next year there will be an obstacle course race with barriers with sets of flexible vinal covered tubes to crawl through called Uter trap. A wall covered in smooth nippled protrusions called Hoot n Holler you scale. A gigantic pole covered in white slime with a bell at the top called Jack Mountain. A jumbled mass of wire and bushes called Beaver Flats searching for pink petals giving the exit directions. A huge soft rubber like bag filled with water and air that heaves and moves called Orgasm you have to walk or run over. A series of tall tapered mounds joined at the bottom like cleavage you work your way through like a maze called Valley of the Dolls. A white slime waterfall with white hockey pucks u search for called Sperm Falls. Some wedge like gaps, some with an orifice, some without, the same size as �most� of the phallic like knobbed rods you try to insert blindfolded while wearing boxing gloves. A water fall that goes up instead of down you balance a rubber raft on top of for 18 seconds called Viagra Falls. A deep well named Divorce filled with hidden treasure as well as some that take treasures away you already have and the winner in this timed event is the one with the highest accumulated wealth. The last one being a maze of deep plastic ditches filled with diluted slime hampered by buoyant rubber egg like balls (one of which you carry with you) to swim or fight your way through with others including females to father the finish line. The Bush Twins will be your guide to enjoy all the comforts Viagra Ranch offers. It is a huge spread as the girls will point out. Porta Potties are located all over the Ranch marked Dribbling Springs for your convenience. Buffets with all you can eat. Attached mesh adjustable cups on the tables for larger women to enjoy their meal easier. Weighted lead sleeves for men sitting at tables to prevent �head� burns. DNA samples available on request for family members and reunions. Incomplete sex changes are welcome but limited in some competitions and games. The Masked Writer � 2004 T Lovett |