| Lake of the Tall Pines It used to be called the Lake of the Tall Pines until my little accident. I found a bargain at Uncle Sams Gift Shop on a surplus helicopter. For $100 I figgered I could make it work like new so I bought it. After almost 3 days work on it I had it running. It hummed so pretty I could hardly hear it. The only thing was I needed a longer extension cord. I�d used the electric motor off my bench grinder. I pretty much guessed this wasn�t gonna work by then as it chased me until the cord pulled out the wall. Not out of the wall, but pulled the wall out. I�ll fix it later I told my wife. I found a used motor out of a chevy pickup in a junkyard. I knew it was good because it used to be mine Until. Well that was another story. I converted it over to fit the chopper. Now all I needed was a cockpit. The cockpit had been used to replace another one on another gunship. Oh, did I forget to mention it used to be a gunship with a canon, and machine guns and two rocket launchers? I�d scrapped out a John Deere combine several years back and I figgered the cab off it would work all right so I went to my scrap pile and sure enough it was still there. I was afraid someone might have stolen it. It fit perfectly. Kind of square looking but never the less it fit with a few minor adjustments. The green color contrasted beautifully with the grey chassis. Now I had a BellDeere powered by a chevy big block 400. Ahhh, kewl. All I had to do now was give it a test run. I went looking for the family but they seemed o have disappeared. they were in the house cause I saw them looking out the curtains. Oh well. I�ll go it alone this time. I loved involving my family in activities. I loaded it on my car hauler trailer and headed for the country. I thought while I was out I might get in some fishing so I headed for the Lake of the Tall Pines Park. Before I even got out of town I was pulled over by a cop. I started pulling over and heard a SNAP. I looked back and one of the rotor blades caught a telephone pole guy wire and electric lines were popping and sparking everywhere so I eased on down the road as it looked like the cop was busy now directing traffic after the pole had fallen on his car anyway he�d have trouble catching me. I was short one blade but I figgered since it had 3 more they would still work and besides I wasn�t gonna use the rocket launchers this trip. I�d packed them in the garage for next time. I�d made them from some commercial fireworks the Fire Department had left over from last year that the fuses hadn�t gone off. I was just going in the gate when I heard 2 more SNAPS. Oops. Lost 2 more. I looked back and it looked more like the sign said: Lake of the "Leaning" Pines. I wound around some back roads until I came to a clearing I�d planned on using. This would be the perfect spot to test my Deere. I unloaded the chopper off the trailer and inspected it. Hmmmm. One blade left. That was no problem. I saw they carried an extra one on the back end for just such emergencies like this. It was smaller but so are the spare tires on new cars. I got the tool box out and started unbolting the propeller blades from the spare prop rack on the tail. After an hour she was ready to go. I got in the seat and put on my earphones and listened to country music on the combine stereo. I woulda put my CB in but when I started the chopper blades it whacked off my whip antenna for the CB on my truck. She sat there and purred like a kitten. I revved it up a little and felt it lift slightly off the ground. I fiddled with the switches trying to figure out what they went to when it took off. I was about 10 foot off the ground when it started turning round and round. It kept spinning and got faster and faster. I was gettin dizzy and about to throw up when I saw them coming. There must have been over a 100 of them. Tall ones too. The pine trees got closer an closer. I turned the steering wheel I�d put in but it just kept spinning. I had to put in a steering wheel cause it didn�t have one when I got it. All it had was the stick shift for the four speed in the floor but they�d put it between my legs and got in the way so I moved it where it belonged. It really didn�t matter much cause I never found the transmission anyway. Guess I didn�t need one cause there wasn�t any rear end or back wheels to hook it to. I�d put trucker mirrors on both sides in case somebody tried to sneak up behind me cause there wasn�t any back glass to see behind me. I�d fix that later. Put me in a gun rack too in case I saw a coyote or went quail huntin. By this time limbs were flying all over the place. I�d chopped off about 30 acres of pine tree tops by now. it was a giant weed eater and going deeper into the pine forest. I couldn�t stop it or slow it down and it just kept chopping away. by now I had a crowd of fishermen and campers sittin on tailgates watching me clear brush and tree tops. I was startin to sweat now. then I saw it. A huge metal tower. It had a small house on top and some guy standing on the deck waving at me. I waved back every time the chopper came around again. His smokey bear hat went flying as I got closer. Then one of the blades caught the tower and I saw it lean a little. Then a little more. Then it was gone. I looked back, well back and sides and front. Every direction was the same at one point or another. All the trees were the same height now. SHORT. It was just a flat green forest like a fresh clipped lawn. I heard it sputter once, then it coughed and died. I was going down. At least it stopped spinning. I got out and staggered then fell down. I got up again and after about 15 times I stayed down. The whole world was off balance. Everything leaned when I walked. Then when I leaned with it I fell over. Smokey bear man was some pissed off. He came out of the woods with scratches all over him. guess he got in a fight with a real smokey bear or something. His shirt was torn and one pant leg was ripped up the side. I thought he was hurt bad as he limped but then I saw one of his shoes was gone. After I saw the judge and he recognized me he quietly slipped out the back door. They threw my case out since the judge failed to appear. A switch for me. Usually it�s me they say that about. Now they have a memorial in my name at the main entrance to the park. I found another way in though on the backside of the park and traded my pickup tags with ones from my boat cause they had mine on file now. Now it is officially called: Lake of the Short Pines. Hehehe The Masked Writer � 2002 T Lovett |