Farmin_With

                                                          Farmin with Bubba

   How�d u get under ther Bubba? Can u move the wheel sum? Shoo shoo, git. Them pigs luv ur face Bubba. Whut u wearin? Must like Brute then. Unggggg I cant move it Bubba. Let me start it n see if I can get it to move. B R R rrrrrrr. Ther. Now ��.. oops. That�s reverse. Sorry Bubba. Well ur screamin scared them pigs off. How�d u get under that trater anyway? I cant move the wheel Bubba. An it wont run layin on its side no more. Hows ur laig? Gimmee ur huntin nife Bubba. Maybe I can cut it off. NOOOO, quit yellin. I ment maybe I can cut the tar offin the wheel. Calm down. Oops. It that transmission oil or blood? Ok. I got nuther quart n the truck. Well quit tastin it. We no its oil now dumass. Maybe we can get the horses n pull it over to that tree n lift it up with a rope. Ohhhhhh. No wunder it fell over on ya. I told ya take the plow and get the horses n plow this field. Not drag the trater n plow with the horses. It aint runnin right and the poppin noise is whut skeered the horses. When they ran off u caint pull a trater sideways, specly with a plow on it. Butttttt maybe u can. I be right back.           Now hold ur breath Bubba while I hich em up. maybe I can tip it back up from the side. Giddy up. heaw horses heaw. Ther ya go Bubba. Why�s ur laig crooked? Quit screamin. How�d I no u had ur pants on backards again. Why didn ur mamma dress u this morning Bubba? U slep in em! You mean they were like this yesterday? No wunder the dogs was confused last nite. They was pullin u backards trailin that coon scent. It was dark n I didn no. Them dogs is smarter than u Bubba. Yes they are. I aint argin with ya. Are to. Are to. Shup Bubba.
   Whadaya mean u killed a chiken? All I told ya was to feed em. Lets go look n see what happened fore any more get kilt.     Dammitt Bubba.      Open the seed sack before throwin it over the fence. They don�t have pocket nives or air raid sirens dumass. Are to. Are to. Shup Bubba. Go water the horses. Think u can do that? Dam. I be glad when pa gets back.
   They whut? U did whut? Lets go look. U better be lyin Bubba. Dammmmm Bubba. U drown em. Yes u did. I no they did. But u were sposed to unhook em from the trater before u brought em to the pond. Now we got to ded horses an a trater under water. Whut were u thinking. Never mind. I no u don�t no. I�ll go put the hay in the barn while u milk the cow. Remember. She kiks.
Ut oh. That sounds like lil bell screamin. BUBBA!!. Let go next time. I no she kiks, I tole ya that. Well let go her teet and she�ll get off ya. Ya jerked her plum across the milk shed. Wunder u didn pull it plum off dumass. Are to. Are to. Shup Bubba. Ok, u go put the hay up an I�ll finish milkin ole three teet lil bell here. Squirt, squirt, squ     whut was that noise? BUBBA? I be right back lil bell. Maybe. <Grumbls>. I�m glad I aint carryin a gun. U HEAR THAT BUBBA? Ur sposed to take each bale off the wagon Bubba and put it up in the loft like this. <grunt> now get out from under the wagon and fix that broken wheel. I bet it does. Ur back should hurt dumass. Are to. Are to. Shup Bubba. Lemmee finish milkin lil bell before she busts a gut then we�ll take a break. U wach. N don�t touch nuthin. NUTHIN U HEAR? Are to. Shup Bubba n juss stand ther. Ur spookin lil bell. Hell yes she�s skeerd of u. I would be to if u almost pulled my nipples off. I�m more skeered of shootin ur ass tha I am u hurtin me. Again. I still aint forgot u handin me that live coon last week in the dark. Sackin was ur job Bubba. An u cant put a live coon in a sack. It don�t matter, u aint sposed to snach him outta the tree. Drop him or knock him outta the tree with a stick an let the dogs get him first or club him. No. u aint getting a gun. I cach u carryin a gun u�ll be the only person left in Jackson county. U�ll be all by urself an no one to dress u. u want that? No, ur mamma wont help u. Even she wont stay iffin u have a gun. She�s smarter than that. Even the dogs are smarter than that. An smarter than u. are to. Are to. Shup Bubba. I no they play with u. no, they�re not ur friends. Because u carry food in ur pockets is why. No they don�t. yes they do. Yes they foller u n not me. U got to pieces of chiken in ur pocket now. Well keep it on the table when u eat. Have u got a funeral plot picked out yet Bubba? Well, u never no. U never no Bubba. Dam I be glad when pa gets back.
PA! Pa. Oh my God pa I�m so glad to see ur home. Lemmee tell u what happened while u were gone. u better sit down pa. its better u sit down pa. this gonna take a while. Bubba u better head home. No, I�ll tell him. I�m givin u a head start now go Bubba.
Vision Quest
� 2006 T Lovett

Back

Bubba? Bubba,
u under ther?

Hurry up n hook that
trater up Bubba

good job Bubba. Now wher'd
u leave the dam plow?

cuz i gotta crank the
water out of it now dumass