2. Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen.
3. Who are these kids and why are they caling me mom?
4. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth!
5. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after!
6. Do I look like a freakin' people person?
8. I started out with nothing, and I have most of it left.
9. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
10. I've found Jesus! He was under the couch the whole time!
11. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
12. YOU! OUT OF THE GENE POOL!!
13. Therapy is expensive. Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap. You decide.
14. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self control.
15. Bottomless pit of needs and wants.
16. I like cats too. Let's swap recipes.
17. Friendly check out clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way.
18. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
19. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
20. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
21. Erros have been made, others will be blamed.
22. And just how may I screw you over today?
23. And your crybaby, whiny assed opinion would be?
24. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a bad mood for 20 years!
26. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil...
27. An MTV mind in a PBS world.
28. Allow me to introduce myselves.
29. Sarcasm is just another service we offer.
31. Better living throug denial.
32. Whatever kind of look you were shooting for, you missed.
33. Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them.
34. Adult child of alien invaders.
35. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
36. I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up.
37. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
38. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
39. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
40. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.
41. Here I am! Now, what are your other two wishes?
42. Back off! You're standing in my aura!
43. I can't remember if I am the good or evil twin.
44. Don't worry, I forgot your name too.
45. Adults are kids who owe money.
46. One of us is thinking about sex. Ok, it's me.
47. How many times do I have to flush before you'll go away?
48. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
49. It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.
50. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
51. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
52. Can I trade this job for what's behind door # 2?
53. Okay, okay, I take that back. Unscrew you!
54. Machow law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.
55. Nice perfume. Do you need to marinate in it?
56. Not all men are annoying, some are dead.
57. Too many freaks, not enough circuses
58. Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
59. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
60. Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.
61. Earth is full! GO HOME!!
62. Is it time for your medication or mine?
63. I plead contemporary insanity.
64. And which dwarf are you?
65. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
66. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
67. How do I set the laser printer to stun?
68. Meandering to a different drummer.
69. I'm not tense. Just really, really alert.
70. I majored in Liberal Arts. Would you like fries with that?
71. Did i mention the kick in the groin you would receive if you touched me?
72. Does this condom make me look fat?
73. What's my favorite position? CEO!!
T-Shirts for Women who take no shit
1. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day!
2. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
3. Remember my name. You'll be screaming it later.
4. Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time.
5. Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?