Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?
Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed relularly and for the same reason.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
I don't mind going nowhere as long s it's an interesting path.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Indecision is the key to flexibility. It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
As I Mature...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are still buttholes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. They are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you've finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we're celebrities or politicians.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be a ot of money in its place.
I've larned that the people you care most about in life ae taken away from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned to say "Screw 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.