�He�s cool. He said that when he conquers the world, he�ll make me the Viceroy of Australia.�
�I think he�s in a satanic cult. Or maybe it�s a band. I don�t know.�
�That kid thinks he knows drunken boxing kung fu, but I can destroy him with my Thai boxing.�
�If I was half the man Phil is, I would be a lotta man.�
�That kid sat there on the bus everyday and stared at me with his �zombie� look. He�s probably freakin� crazy.�
�One time, I was getting a Dr. Pepper from those drink machines next to the cafeteria and when I reached down to get it, I stuck my hand into a big nasty mess of yogurt. I heard he�s in a band called �The Yogert Vandals�, so it was probably him. Tell him to watch his back.�
�Hmm? That kid? Oh yeah, before I moved to England, he always drew little cartoons making fun of me. They were titled �U.K.�s Funniest Home Videos Hosted By Seth Ligo.� Apparently, I was the host of a talk show. I hated those cartoons.�
�He keeps the consistency of the universe together. It�s hard to explain, but without him, the universe would basically reverse into the 7th dimension. That wouldn�t be good.�
�He started the Badminton Club. I love that club. He said he�ll bring us fruit punch next time.�
�He he he! He�s in a band with me called �The Yogert Vandals.� He covers keyboard and vocals. He claims to have sacrificed a goat under a full moon, so I knew he would be perfect for the band.�
�What? Who?�Go away, can�t you see I�m busy. Tell that kid he sucks.�
�Yum yum sing song fu! Chingle mchingle bing goes fink! Argle joogle zing zing zoo zoo!�