On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: ...You could be a winner!No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late...)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought??...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (I bet there would be less accidents at the work place if we got those doped up kids out of cars and machinery)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One can hope)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I blame the parents)
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