| AT THE BEEP....... |
| These are actual answering machine messages. Maybe you'll use one! Your friends just might get a kick out of it! |
| 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. |
| 9. Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, wondows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. |
| 8. This is not an answering machine - it is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call. |
| 7. Hi! John's answering macine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. |
| 6. Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didnt lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are female, I have LOTS of money. |
| 5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message. |
| 4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll get back to you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll get back to you sooner. |
| 3. Hi! Now YOU say something. |
| 2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and If I don't call back, it's you. |
| 1. Hello, You've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right....... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. |