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Home
Contact
Me
Art
Music
Fashion
British |
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Quotes to Ponder... |
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"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
--Helen Keller |
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"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
--Victor Borge |
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"Nobody ever died of laughter."
--Max Beerbohm |
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"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."
--Hellen Keller |
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Page 2 |
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"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."
--Henry Kissinger |
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"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."
--Bertrand Russell |
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"Unless we change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed."
--? |
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"Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks."
-Laura Swenson |
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"Knowing is half the battle."
--G.I. Joe |
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"Those of us who know the most, realize how little we know."
--Charles Darwin |
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"69% of statistics are "meaningless as well as undocumented information"....89% of the world's populations know that."
-- Homer J. Simpson |
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"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt |
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"The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it."
-- P. B. Medawar |
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"Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading."
-- G. M. Trevelyan |
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"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do."
-- Olin Miller |
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"Our patience will achieve more than our force."
-- Edmund Burke |
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"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not Guilty.'"
-- Theodore Roosevelt |
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"The cure for writer's cramp is writer's block."
-- Inigo DeLeon |
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"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
-- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968), Letter from Birmingham Jail, April 16, 1963 |
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"If you can dream it, you can do it."
-- Walt Disney |
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"It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that."
-- G. H. Hardy |
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"If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'"
-- John Cleese |
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"Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time."
-- Steven Wright |
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"The man who has no imagination has no wings."
-- Muhammad Ali |
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"There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all."
-- Robert Orben |
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"If you cannot convince them, confuse them."
-- Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972) |
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"There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on."
-- Robert Byrne |
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"One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged."
-- Heinrich Heine (1797-1856) |
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"Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble."
-- Sidney J. Harris |
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"Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves."
-- J.B. Priestley |
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"A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do."
-- Bob Dylan |
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"America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole."
-- Bobcat Goldthwaite |
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"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man."
-- Elbert Hubbard |
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"I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on."
-- Oscar Levant |
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"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark."
-- Dick Gregory |
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"See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?"
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo |
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"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."
-- P. G. Wodehouse |
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"You can't have everything. Where would you put it? "
-- Steven Wright |
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"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic."
-- Dan Rather |
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"There is never enough time, unless you're serving it."
-- Malcolm Forbes |
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"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
-- Rita Rudner |
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"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them."
-- Galileo Galilei |
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"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
-- Isaac Asimov |
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"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
-- Rita Rudner |
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"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."
-- Darrin Weinberg |
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"It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
-- Steven Wright |
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"No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it."
-- Charles Schulz |
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"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things."
-- Woody Allen |
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"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."
-- Barry LePatner |
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"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?"
-- Jean Cocteau |
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"You cannot go around and keep score. If you keep score on the good things and the bad things, you'll find out that you're a very miserable person. God gave man the ability to forget, which is one of the greatest attributes you have. Because if you remember everything that's happened to you, you generally remember that which is the most unfortunate."
-- Hubert H. Humphrey |
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A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
-- Bill Vaughan |
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I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx |
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"The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them."
-- Robert Frost |
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You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec |
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Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
-- Winston Churchill (1874-1965) |
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Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
-- Anonymous |
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"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either."
-- Dick Cavett |
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A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost |
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Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.
-- Jonathan Winters |
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The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost |
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Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
-- James Thurber |
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"Politeness is one half good nature and the other half good lying."
-- Mary Wilson Little |
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"One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time."
-- Nancy Astor |
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Be contented when you have got all you want.
-- Holbrook Jackson |
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"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. |
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I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?
-- Ronnie Shakes |
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
-- Woody Allen |
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"Stoop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at."
-- Carlos A. Urbizo |
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"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
-- Calvin Trillin |
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It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.
-- Anonymous |
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"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children."
-- Clarence Darrow |
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"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it."
-- Dick Cavett |
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"Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
-- Pablo Picasso |
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"Everything starts as somebody's daydream."
-- Larry Niven |
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"An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible."
-- Unknown |
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"There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking."
-- Thomas Edison |
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"I don't mind being miserable as long as I'm painting well."
-- Grace Hartigan |
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"Life wouldn't be worth living if I worried over the future as well as the present."
-- M. Somerset Maugham, "Of Human Bondage", 1915 |
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"A good listener tries to understand thoroughly what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but before he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with."
-- Kenneth A. Wells, Guide to Good Leadership |
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"That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you."
-- A. Whitney Brown |
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"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little."
-- Porterfield |
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"Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done."
-- Ernie Kovacs |
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"Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighborhood."
-- Louise Beal |
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"Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong."
-- Dandemis |
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"Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt."
-- William Shakespeare |
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"He who angers you conquers you."
-- Elizabeth Kenny |
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"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature."
-- Tom Robbins |
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"A good listener is usually thinking about something else."
-- Kin Hubbard |
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"The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off."
-- Anonymous |
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"Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it."
-- Unknown |
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"An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attornety can delay one even longer."
-- Evelle J. Younger |
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"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler."
-- Albert Einstein |
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"It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar."
-- Jerome K Jerome |
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"Only the good die young. Note the average age in Congress."
-- Anon. |
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"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly."
-- Langston Hughes |
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"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago."
-- Bernard Berenson |
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"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
-- Mark Twain |
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"For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news."
-- Gloria Borger |
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Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule -- and both commonly succeed, and are right.
-- H. L. Mencken |
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"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said "I don't know."
-- Mark Twain |
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"If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."
-- Quentin Crisp |
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"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
-- J.D. Salinger |
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"When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy."
-- Anon. |
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"In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man." -- Alfred Hitchcock (1899-1980) |
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"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet."
-- Dave Barry |
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"The important thing is not to stop questioning."
-- Albert Einstein |
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"Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!"
-- Matt Frewer as Dr. Mike Stratford in "Doctor, Doctor" |
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"The quickest way to end a war is to lose it."
-- George Orwell |
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"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"
-- Lily Tomlin |
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"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do."
-- Dale Carnegie |
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"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-- Gandhi |
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"Friends are treasures."
-- Horace Bruns |
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"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
-- Dorothy Nevill |
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"When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody."
-- W. S. Gilbert |
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"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."
-Anon. |
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"Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted."
-- Hesketh Pearson |
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"Wisdom begins in wonder."
-- Socrates |
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"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony."
-- Robert Benchley |
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"Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten"
-- B.F. Skinner |
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"May you live every day of your life."
-- Jonathan Swift |
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I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.
-- Herbert Bayard Swope |
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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."
-- Voltaire |
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"Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur."
-- Muriel Spark |
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"Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it."
-- Gordon R. Dickson |
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"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
-- E. E. Cummings |
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"Some people make things happen, some watch while things happen, and some wonder 'What happened?'"
-- Unknown |
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"If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets."
--Mel Brooks
"Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men."
--Kim Hubbard
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
--Mitch Ratcliffe
"Dreams can become a reality when we possess a vision that is characterized by the willingness to work hard, a desire for excellence, and a beliefe in our right and our responsibility to be equal members of society."
--Janet Jackson
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking."
--H.L. Hencken (1880-1956)
"Power is the ability not to have to please."
--Elizabeth Janeway
"Pity the meet, for they shall inherity the earth."
--Don Marquis
"when I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.
-Clarence Darrow
"Life is a long lesson in humitiliy."
--James M. Barrie
"Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice."
--Unknown
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory."
--Albert Schweitzer
"Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imaginationa without skill gives us modern art.
--Tom Stoppard
"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver."
--Jay Leno
"Women are the real architects of society."
--Harriet Beecher Stowe, author of Uncle Tom's Cabin
It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men."
--Mae West
"Men are not the enemy, but the fellow victims. The real enemy is women's denigration of themselves.
--Betty Friedan
"Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in this world but people capable of giving them their attention."
--Simone Weil
"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
--Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
"I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am."
--Samuel Johnson
"When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice."
--Bismarck
"The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read."
--Oscar Wilde
"Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in."
--Evan Davis
"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has read."
--Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress."
--Mahatma Gandhi
"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite."
--John Kenneth Galbraith
"Life is something that everyone should try at least once."
--Henry J. Tillman
"I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up."
--Tom Lehrer
"Everything you can imagine is real."
--Pablo Picasso
"Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies."
--Ed Howe
"In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you."
--Leo Tolstoy
"Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen."
--Martin Mull
"Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation."
--Howard Scott
"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
--Mark Twain
"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."
--Mark Twain
"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven."
--Karen Sunde
"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible."
--Arthur C. Clarke, "Technology and the Future"
"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk."
--Thomas A. Edison (1847-1931)
"Since we cannot know all that there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything."
--Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
"The good man is the friend of all living things."
--Mahatma Gandhi
"History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon."
--Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
"Maturity is only a short break in adolescence."
--Jules Feiffer
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
--Albert Einstein
"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."
--Aldous Huxley
"Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about."
--Oscar Wilde
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimcry, their passions a quotation."
--Oscar Wilde
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
--A. Whitney Brown
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
--Oscar Wilde
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
--Oscar Wilde
"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."
--Ogden Nash
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
--Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
"I thoroughlt disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to quiet place and kill him."
--Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"
--George Carlin
"Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself."
--A.H. Weiler |
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