Am I to understand we will not be enjoying any side dishes with our frozen waffles

Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two.

Attention shoppers! Outside today, we have a cripple fight. Cripple fight, outside!

Ay!

B

Be da sham!

Bet Meeeeehhhhhmmmm!

Casa Bonita, Casa Bonita!

D

Dude, that is not cool! Chopping off wee-wee's is not cool!

Comeing Soon!

F

French people piss me off!

God has told me how to make 10 million dollars!

H

He just goes around imposing his will on people. He's my idol

Hella-gay! Hella-Jew! Hella-lame! Hella-sweet!

Hippies, they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot, smell bad and play frisbee!

I

I don't date black people.

I don't hate black people. I hate hippies.

I got my period.

I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about "protectin' the earth" and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets - I hate 'em! I wanna kick 'em in the nuts!

I hate hippies! They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.

I hate you guys!

I think my mom is a corporation.

I think my mom is a corporation.

I used to think disabled people were here for my amusement.

I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus. I want to feel his salvation all over my face.

I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, Ay! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie.

I'll kick you squah in the nuts!

I'm not fat, I just haven't grown into my body yet, you skinny bitch.

I'm not fat, I'm just big boned!

I'm not fat! I'm festivally plump!

I'm not fat, I'm just pleasantly plump!

I'm out of control. Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I waunt, biatch! Yeah, I have sex, and I don't use protection! It's my hot body; I'll do what I waunt! I don't go to school and I kill people! Wuteva! I'll do what I waunt!

I'm seriously!

I've been keeping this place free of hippies since I was five and a half.

I've learned something, too: selling out is sweet because when you sell out, you get to make a lot of money, and when you have money, you don't have to hang out with a bunch of poor asses like you guys. Screw you guys, I'm going home.

If some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like, Ay, why don't you stop dressing me like a mailman and make me dance for you while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know on my Dad's bed.

If some sissy chick tried to kick my ass I would say hey, missy, go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!

[Dolphins are] Intelligent and friendly on rye bread, with some mayonaise.

It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here or else it'll choke on the sweet air of freedom"  (Comments about a goat sent to him and his friends by some kids in Afghanistan).

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

It's like, it's like, smoking brings a lot of people just a little bit of joy and, and you [ Rob Reiner ] get to take that away from them. You are so awesome!

J

Jew!

Kenny's family is so poor that yesterday, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.

Kick Ass!

Kyle, I swear to God, if I didn't have a guy's hand up my butt right now, I would leap across the room and kick you in the nuts.

Lame!

M

Ma’am, we’re having a Dude moment here if you don’t mind.

Ma’am, can I have some pie?	Ma’am, can I have some pot pie?
Ma’am, can I have some weight gain 4000?	Ma’am, kitty is being a dildo.

Naw dude, Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding.

No kitty, that's a bad kitty!

No kitty this is my pot pie!

No, not when money’s involved, stupid.

Oh, Jesus, are you fucking kidding me?

Ok, that's it, Talking Poo is where I draw the line.

Poor people tend to live in clusters.

Coming Soon!

R

Respect my authoritah!

S

Screw you guys, I'm going home!

See, this is what we call an all-you-can-eat buffet. Here you can eat all you want for just $6.99. That's why everyone comes here on Tuesday nights, except for Kenny's family because for them, $6.99 is two year's income.

So, I am to understand that there will be no side dishes tonight?

Stan, lay off the cough syrup dude, I’m worried about you man.

Shut up Kyle! Shut your Goddamn' Jew mouth! You're the reason that there's war in the Middle East.

Stupid Jew! Suck my balls!

T

The fireman (talking about his penis) is very magical. Rub his helmet and he spits in your eye.

Theres nothing faggy about 10 million dollars, asshole.

This is killing me. The human body was not meant to move quickly like that.

Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionare!

Totally!

Coming Soon!

Coming Soon!

W

We’re never gonna’ get any candy if Kenny keeps eating people!

Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.

Well, Kyle, appreciate you being so open with me about this, but as we know, you have a warped perception of reality because you're jewish.

What kind of side dishes will we be enjoying this evening with our frozen waffles?

Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross, I can’t help but think that he looks kinda’ hot.

Why does this happen every month? It seems like right about the same time every month, Kyle's mom gets a hair up her ass about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it.

Why is it that everything today has to do with things either going in or coming out of my ass?

Wuteva, I do what I want!

Coming Soon!

Yeah hippie, go back to Woodstock if you don't want to shoot anything. Yeah! I want Cheesy Poofs!

You guys, You guys!

You m'he-ah, me m'he-ah.

You're breaking my balls, [name].

Coming Soon!