THE SHUTUPS
versus
BLOOMINGTON-NORMAL (IL)'s COOKIES N' HOOKERS
GENRE: The Shutups can succinctly be categorized (with the exception of the third tune which is a patent rip-off of Boris) as The Buzzcocks meets The Humpers meets The New Bomb Turks, all slowed down to the pace of The Cramps. In so far as The Humpers and The Turks are influenced heavily by The Cramps in the first place, all of this makes The Shutups a very "retro" band. To be "retro" is to be a fucking hippie. The Shutups are thus hippies. To be hippies is not to play punk rock.
Cookies n' Hookers are not only definitively punk, but innovatively yet traditionally so. In the true spirit of Sid Vicious, the punkest punk ever to grace the face of the earth, none of the members of Cookies n' Hookers had even the barest grasp of what it means to "play" their instrument. Of course, one member of Cookies n' Hookers has a very good "grasp" of his instrument. Resultingly, we banned "his" instrument from the recording session. Furthermore, not only was the music terribly discordant, out of time and devoid of any conceivable melody, but the vocals are definably yet eclectically "punk rock." Not only do gut-wreching screaming, whiny "emo" styles and liberal backing vocals feature heavily, but in some of the songs even a "Cockney" accent can be detected. Cookies n' Hookers are thus very much "punk rock".
CONTENT: The Shutups have a song entitled "Bitches." Nuff said.
Cookies n' Hookers tackle meaninful social issues in the lyrics, yet still find space to profess their hatred for everything and everybody, even the "punks." What could be more "punk rock" than recording a song slagging off "punks." Cookies n' Hookers did it. Furthermore, in one stage of the album, the lead singer recites a line from "Sid and Nancy" - there could be no greater tribute to the founders of punk-rock as we know it.
PRODUCTION: The Shutups' tunes are well-polished and nicely mastered. This is what the music industry does - not punks.
Cookies n' Hookers' material is raw - the music recorded to a portable tape deck featuring the cheapest blank audio tape to be found at "Walgreens" in an unused room of the basement of an independent radio station in Bloomington-Normal, IL - and unabridged. The band members can be heard fighting with each other multiple times throughout the recording. Punk rock incarnate!
FORMAT: The Shutups' posted a mere four of their tunes to the public domain. This is capitalism. Capitalism is "un-punk."
Cookies n' Hookers, in an effort to express their thorough disgust for music industry pricing practices and the general habit of placing a price on "art" posted ALL their recorded material to the internet. How punk!
PUBLICITY: The Shutups' web-site demonstrates clearly that someone in the band or closely connected to the band or paid well by the band has an intimate knowledge of HTML and other fancy internet codes. Such knowledge is not very punk.
The Cookies n' Hookers web-site demonstrates clearly that nobody in the band, known to the band or which the band can afford to pay knows the first fucking thing about HTML or any other internet codes for that matter. This is most punk-rock as it demonstrates a complete and utter contempt for the state of society as it currently stands.
LOCATION: The Shutups hail from Green Bay, WI. Not only is Green Bay, WI the smallest city in the United States to have a professional sports team - meaning that it contains more jocks per head of population than anywhere in the country and is thus the most un-punk locality on the face of the planet - it also possesses a "hip" music scene. "Hip"-ness is the antithesis of punk-ness.
The Cookies n' Hookers album was recorded in Bloomington-Normal, IL - a sprawling wasteland of suburbia in the middle corn fields in the middle of the apathetic, conservative American heartland - a place that very much symbolizes everything that is wrong with America. Not only that but one member of the band is currently rumoured to live with a few hundred yards of one of the largest punk hangouts in the eastern United States. By location, Cookies n' Hookers are thus very much the punk.
CONCLUSION: Cookies n' Hookers are much, much punker than The Shutups will ever be.
The Shutups:
http://www.angelfire.com/punk/theshutups
vs.
Cookies n' Hookers:
http://chaos.differnet.org/~murmur/vvt/artists/cnh/index.html
E
p.s. the following statement doesnt mean i dont like nofx.. cuz i do.. please drive through
>you ever, i do mean ever,
>cross my path my "hippy" ass
>is gonna pound yers into a
>bloody pud..
Violence. Cookies n' Hookers express their anger through their music. On the contrary, the massive over-production and attention to minute details that your band's "artwork" is subjected to has the consequence of aggravating your stress level further, so that the process of musical performance becomes a source of anger rather than an outlet for it. Quite sorry, really.
>furthermore.. you know JACK
>about punk rock.. yer name is
>taken from green day undoubtably
Bullshit. My name is taken from the fact that I lay massive fucking dookies in my toilet which, upon flushing, have the consequence of causing my toilet to explode. It's a sad condition, but it made for a great name.
>(which
>isnt a bad thing really cuz
>green day rules) but you seem
>to think being a capitolist is
>"unpunk" and let me tell you
>who is a capitalist.. green day
>is..
Irrelevant as it ultimately is, this is too utter bullshit. As is well-known to anyone with any "street-cred" Green Day are the very anti-thesis of "capitalists." They signed to a major label and proceeded to become very popular on MTV and the radio so that they could help to "expropriate the super-normal rents" that were being earned in the music industry and redistribute these rents to proletarian para-military organizations which, through urban struggle and subversive activities, are working as we speak to target the capitalist system and bring about SOCIALIST REVOLUTION!!!
>so is yer little jello
>biafra.. why else would he run
>for president?!? he wants money..face it
We wrote and recorded a song (to be found on "Fuck You Punk", by the way) that aims to expose Jello Biafra for the filthy capitalist that he is. Next time, do your research. Asshole.
>... and as far as the
>music influences you assume we ripped
>off .. there yer just being
>silly dude.. i dont like the
>new bomb turks.. i dont like
>the humpers.. i dont like the
>cramps much either.. so how on
>earth am i stealing from them??!?
Dig out your copy of "Punk-o-Rama Vol. 2" (I know it's there somewhere, probably next to your collection of Blink 182 compact discs) . . . and then take a look in the mirror. I think you'll notice alarming - and quite scary - similarities.
>and seeing as yer sooo hip
>on punk rock knowledge... why do
>you dislike green bay so much?
100,000 people. An NFL team. Hmmmmm . . .
>do you know how many great
>punk rock bands love to play
>in green bay cuz its one
>of the biggest staples in the
>punk rock community?
Exactly. It's a fucking "hip" scene. Just like the fucking East Bay. Cookies n' Hookers fucking hate the East Bay and we fucking hate Green Bay as well. "Hipsters" and "scenesters" crawl the localities like fucking maggots. A "scene" is the very anti-thesis of what it means to be "punk."
>more than youll
>ever know .. thats a fact
>jack..
. . . and you're an ass . . . ass.
>so blab about how generic
>we are and how much we
>suck when we have videos on
>mtv and are touring japan fuckin
>little japanese bitches and cranking up
>some black sabbath thinking to ourselves..
But will it make you happy? Oh, what it is to be young and naive. Priceless stuff. True; I would be impressed if "The Shutups" become the next Blink 182 just as I would be impressed if "Cookies n' Hookers" become the next Wesley Willis, but I think we both know that irregardless of how many comps you might be on, it probably ain't gonna happen.
>god, we are just evil capitolist
>womanising bastards aint we!?!? well.. i
>can't speak for anyone else in
>the band but .. yeah, so?!?
Huh?
>and you call me retro when
>yer obsessed witht he dead kennedys
>and sid .. thats retro pal..
>that punk is dead..
SID LIVES!!!
>and will never come back..
Cookies n' Hookers is bringing it back, y'all!!!
>so get over it! god.. i just wish
>i could look yer ugly ass
>in the face and say
>this shit to you.. you fuckin
>poser ass ..
>go listen to nofx they're not capitolists
>or anything.. fuckin idiot.. E
>p.s. the following statement doesnt mean i
>dont like nofx.. cuz i do..
>please drive through
Don't they fucking teach you to spell in school? MTV videos or not . . . people that can't spell don't get very far . . .