Fan Reaction to "Fuck You Punk" by Cookies n' Hookers
Noted eastern Canadian punk-rock critic "Drake Mallard" was the first non-aligned party to comment on the recently released tracks. His remarks went as follows:
"Ouch, that was awful..."
"Wow Superdook, that was some of the worst shit I've ever heard. I'm glad you guys don't take yourselves too seriously. And you actually had the audacity to say that the Devil Dogs "Saturday Night Fever" wasn't good after subjecting us to this?????? Back the the ol' drawing board you go..." (Posted on Apr-09-00 at 04:18 PM (EST))
As is characteristic of a people that have a hard time thinking for themselves, subsequent reaction to the recording from Screeching Weasel Message Board inhabitants assumed a common tone:
Jimmy: "This is so horrible."
"Thousands of fuckers cannot be wrong. At least most shitty bands KNOW they suck, but you guys have the audacity to claim what you do is half-decent. Knox Gel? Fuck You Yeah Yeah? Jesus Henrietta Christ, I'm glad you spent four goddamn years at that stuffy university and all you came out with was "Catchy Tunes."" (Posted on Apr-10-00 at 11:03 AM (EST))
Pinky Tuscadero: "yikes"
"Wow i hope you didnt pay a lot to record that.... thats horried!
Luv and Hugs
Pinky" (Posted on Apr-09-00 at 04:49 PM (EST))
Justin: "you guys have less musical talent than......"
"Crass! Man, your band is really horrible." (Posted on Apr-09-00 at 04:53 PM (EST))
Phil Thy: "The real beef..."
"Go fry it....No, to be honest, it's just the quality of the recording (which in no doubt in ye old thought processor device that would make you guys sound alot better), and secondly, because I need to join the masses, don't be rockstars. You don't need an attitude to win over Drake or Mub, they'll love you for who you are. And leave the "rockstar" gig to who claims they started it before the Casualities, the Unseen.And by the way, kiddo, you're not punk. No, nope, no. You're funcore!"
(Posted on Apr-10-00 at 02:20 AM (EST))
Further reaction from the Screeching Weasel Message Board:
Todd A.: "Dook-o..."
Man, your band isn't good at all. I downloaded two of the tunes (on a 28.8 connection, which is the most my fucked up phone line can support at the moment), and me no likey. My advice: Hula hoop dancer. That will be the SOLE key to any success you might ever have. (Posted on Apr-11-00 at 10:52 PM (EST))
Guy: "No likey is polite"
an, that shit is dreadful. I downloaded 2.5 songs. The first one, Joleen, and Fuck You Punk. That is some stinking shit that I wouldn't ever listen to. I would pay money to not have to listen to it, which puts it in the same category as Britney Spears, 'NSync and Anal Cunt. Anal Cunt, at least, acknowledges the fact that they suck, are stupid and completely nonmusical. I read a funny interview with the singer. He was asked, "Would you consider your music noise or music?" He answered, "Well, there's no musical talent whatsoever, our songs have no guidelines that typically identify songs as songs and I basically just scream with no regard to how I sound or what I'm saying, so I would categorize it as noise." (Paraphrased. His wording was much funnier.) Your band sucks. No offense. (Posted on Apr-11-00 at 11:14 PM (EST))
E: "ah yeeeeeeeah.. about your band...."
i really don't understand where the hell you come up with this stuff.. i downloaded like 8 to 10 songs just cuz i don't think it's fair to judge a band by one song and well.. i just really really dont like it..
now before you rant and rave about how dumb i am check out my band...
www.angelfire.com/punk/theshutups (Posted on Apr-12-00 at 11:27 AM (EST))
Dana: "First of all... "
I can't listen to your songs because my computer is shit but I can say that the name 'cookies n hookers' is a shitty band name. However you may have intended on having a stupid band name. I don't know... (Posted on Apr-12-00 at 07:28 PM (EST))
Chris: "...what's wrong with me..."
Fuck You Punk
I like this song!
Phil Thy: "El Smoochoo Boochoo"
Superdoo,
take a speech therapy class, or at least get one of those tapes that deprograms yer little "funny troll voice".
Trust me, you should go live under a fucking bridge if ya can't get that fix, and if you don't shut yer little precious crook teeth, you get sprayed with milk! I've see-e-ee-een 'Ernest: Scared Stupid', so I know how you work, you common troll. Posted on Apr-12-00 at 09:39 AM (EST)
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