A Moment of Truth
By Cindy Tremblay
Disclaimer: Do I look like paramount to you? No. *okay that’s not a disclaimer is it?* Paramount *groans* owns *mumbles hateful words* them *cries* I *sniff* don’t.
 

Chakotay chimed for entry at the captain’s readyroom. She’d locked herself in her readyroom 24 hours ago and still hadn’t left it. Rumour  had it that it had something to do with what one of the impostors had said and Chakotay wanted to get to the bottom of it.
"Come in Commander." He heard his Captain say.
He wasn’t surprised when he stepped in to find her staring out her portal, she normally did when something was bothering her.
"Tell me you haven’t been standing there for the last 24 hours." Chakotay said jokingly.
"No, only for 23." She said, her back still turned to him.
He sighed and took numerous steps towards her stopping only when he was standing behind her. "Kathryn what’s bothering you?"
"Nothing."
"Don’t lie to me."
"Seriously nothing is bothering me."
"Dala was the one posing as you wasn’t she?" He said taking a different approach.
"Yes."
 "Is she the cause of this?"
 He waited for a response and all he received in reply was dead silence.
 "She is isn’t she?"
 When he didn’t get an answer, he took Kathryn by the shoulders and turned her around. He noticed that her eyes were all puffy, and that her face was tear stained, from the look of her eyes she had been crying for a long time. He brought the sobbing Kathryn  into his arm for a hug and held tightly onto her
 They stayed that way in each other’s arms until Chakotay felt her calm down. He pulled her down on the coach and watched as she got into a comfortable position. She placed her head on Chakotay’s thighs, lied down in a ball on her side facing  the stars. Chakotay waited patiently knowing that when she was ready to speak she would.
 Finally after ten minutes of silence Kathryn spoke. "You have no idea do you?" She said calmly. "She said something that hit home, and it reminded me of something someone else told me." She stopped for a moment and continued. Both new who she meant.  "I remember her exact words too, she said ‘I make a better you than you.' I didn’t give it much thought the first time she told me. The second time I heard it I realised why it sounded so familiar." She stopped for a moment again and continued. "My mother told me when I was a child never to forget who I was, even if I became a captain because no one else but you can be you. No one else can tell what you’re feeling, thinking, or what you plan on achieving. Of course thinking of that I started to think of my life. You know what I realised Chakotay?"
 Chakotay smiled down at her and began to stroke her hair, "That you’ve been living a double life?"
 "Something like that. I realised that I was forgetting who I was. That I’m a woman, that I’m Kathryn too…well I started to think of ‘us’ Chakotay. I -- she stopped almost afraid to say what was on her mind.
 Chakotay watched as Kathryn wiped a tear from her eye. "Chakotay,  I, came to a conclusion.  You know what that conclusion is?" She sat up and looked into his eyes as if she were staring straight into his soul.
 He didn’t answer knowing if he did he would stop her from saying what she was going to say next.
 "Chakotay I love you, and I can’t deny that any longer" He watched as a smile grew on her face as she said that "but-" He watched as her smile faded. His heart thumped, and he felt his throat go dry. Kathryn took his two hands in hers "we can never be."
A million words of protest came to his mind and he was unable to state them all.  Finally a few words escaped him "Is that why you’ve been crying? Because we can never be?"  He wanted to kick himself after the words had escaped him, here she was vulnerable in front of him and he had to ask why she’d been crying.
 She nodded.
 "Kathryn I love you more than words can say." He said pulling her to him.
 "Chakotay face it we can never be because of who we are. We have to learn to live without one another."
 "You can’t be serious Kathryn." He said looking her straight in the eyes.
 "I am"
 "Fine then, I’ll resign my commission. Become a crewmember." He said "Kathryn there has to be a way."
 "Chakotay don’t make such a sacrifice for something you don’t even know will work. "
 "It will. You said it yourself we can’t deny what we’re feeling Kathryn." He pulled her in for a kiss. The kiss was soft, tender and was full of passion. "Kathryn lets try ‘us’ out together before we say we can never be. If it doesn’t work out then I’ll resign, and if that doesn’t work we can transport to a planet with a shuttle forget who we are and live together. If that-  Kathryn shut him up by placing a finger to his lips.
 "And here I was afraid you wouldn’t want me because of everything I represent." She said before moving in to kiss him.
 " You used to represent everything I couldn’t have. Now you represent everything I want. I love you Captain Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway"
 "I know Chakotay. Gods know I’ve known for so long. I love you too."

The End???


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