Push

So close
I push you away again.
I freek,
I cry,
I revert,
Back to the shell again
You try...
I pretend you don't really care,
it's so much safer that way.
I come back for more,
because I need you.
You open your arms for me.
I wasn't ready,
I'm sick of hurting,
I can't handle this.
So why...
do I keep...
dreaming of how you hold me?
I can't bare...
that look of hurt...
your face wears.
I know it's my fault.
And I hurt too,
So I recess again,
Over and over...
I push.
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