my story only happend about a week or so ago.... i dont knwo what to do about it ... but i catn stop thinking about it all... i'm 16... my parents have always been really strict with me and i never knew much about sex and stuff i'd never been kissed or never even had a boyfriend... i learned most of what i know about sex online.... from a few friends..and lately i'd been talking to an odler guy about 50 or older... he always said how one day he woudl meet me and teach me first hand..a nd i guess ihad never really thought about it so i agreed to meet him... and finally last week it happend..I lied to my parents and told them I was babysitting to get out .. and go with him to the hotel, he drove to my house in Georgia from North Carolina.. at first none of it seemed real... it was like i was in this daze..even when we got to the hotel and he began to undress me... but when he started to kiss me i felt liek i coudln't breathe, like he was chokeing me... and he rubed me and he licked me and he did things to me that just made me feel so dirty and awful and i had no idea it would be like that.. iw as too scared to move or to say no or to do anything... finally i started to cry and i asked him to take me home... he said he would jsut that i would have to help him cum first... and watching that just made me even more sick to my stomach... i knwo i was lucky.. and that it was stupid of me to go with him he could have done much worse to me.. rape me and you know... i think i've started to hate him for it because i cant get it out of my head and i cant stop thinking about it all .... i havent been able to sleep... and i take hours in the shower cause i jsut cant get clean enough.. i've told a few friends of mine online who all say i'd probably feel better if i reported him.. but he wasn't mean to me.. i mean, when i started to cry he did bring me home he wasn't cruel to me.. aside from that reporthing him would involve letting my parents know and then i just woudl ruin what little trust i have... ..i dont knwo what to do... ..but its just this big weight in my chest..