boy are you lucky. it didn't go any further. but how sad you must have felt having someone leering at you at such a tender age. i was sexually abused for 13 years. physically. and i also suffered non-touching sexual abuse like you. i think it's ok to hat your abuser. why the hell not. She was responsible for caring for you, but did she really fufill that responsibility? Sometimes that hate and anger can kepp you alive and give you the courage to move on. check out the courage to heal workbook. good luck ck1