The first time I was approached by my father I was about 8 or 9 years old. I am not sure of my age at the time. He would wake me up in the middle of the night and fondle me and make me fondle him and other acts. I didn't know that I could refuse him, didn't know I could tell on him. He was my Father. He was supposed to keep this from happening to me. He was supposed to PROTECT ME. But he was the one doing it to me. He even told me once that the only reason that he was doing all this was because I wanted to. That was when I realized that I could refuse him. It stopped for a while. Then when I was 15 it started again. I was worse this time. But it finally stopped. I am now 37 years old. Been though counseling and group therapy. I understand a lot more about myself now. Why I did some of things I did. Why I react to things the way that I do. Sexual abuse is not the fault of the child. I had a lot of guilt for many years because he gave it to me with his statement "I wouldn't do it if you didn't want me to." That statement caused me a lot of grief. I don't think you ever get over abuse, you learn to live with the past and adjust your future and stop to cycle.