First off, the reason why I chose abortion was because I was 21 years old with 2 children and no place to stay. I had just quit a job and I was trying to graduate from college on time(scheduled for May,2001).
I was in a shaky relationship with a guy who I wasn't too sure of. I got pregnant because of a contraceptive failure and I was very disappointed in my self for not taking action earlier.
There were alot of personal things going on in my life that I was trying to work out. I realized I might be pregnant when my breast were very sore and tender longer than they normally are in my cycle. It conufused me butI didn't pay it that much attention. There were alot of signs and symtoms that I didn't pick up on until it was too late. I began to crave certain foods and sleep alot.
I continued to ignore it because there was so many other things going on in my life at that time and I just thought that my period would start soon.
Unfortunately,my period never started. Days went by and I still didn't get it. I was still in denial. I just thought I was having problems with a late period. After nine days,I finally got up enough nerve on Christmas day to go out and get a test. I bought the test form a local Walgreens. I was so nerveous that I could hardly think. I took the test and immediately the little purple line appeared that said it was positive. O God, I wanted to screem so I waited for about 25 minutes and just stared at it in the bathroom.
I repeatedly asked myself,"How could you let this happen?" I felt so embarrased and ashamed of myself. I began to think how would my family/friends react? I finally came out and told my mom and sister after about 40 minutes. They were all shocked and they immediately asked what was I going to do? I scheduled and appointment with a reputable clinic in my area and told my boyfriend. He was very unhappy but, he told me he would give me half the money.
About a week passed and I didn't hear anything from him. I thought he just left me because I was getting the abortion and he didn't toally agree with it. The big day came and I got dressed as I would do every other morning and waited for my friend, who was suppose to give me a ride to the clinic. to come Time passed but she never came to get me. I called and I called but she never came.
I gave up and decided just to take the bus. I wasn't going to let this problem effect me in any way. I found the clinic nestled within a tiny medical building on the corner of a busy intersection. There were about 2 or picketers outside but they didn't say anything. They held up horrible signs and pictures of aborted fetuses used to disturb and discourage women not to have an abortion.
I came in and saw that the romm was practiclly filled and the doctor had not got to the clinic yet. There were women there with their male companions(boyfriends,husbnds)and women there with female friends or relatives.Then there were women like me who were there totally alone. I filled out the necessary paperwork. The paperwork just asked some personal information and medical information such as when did my last period start and how many pregnancies had I had. I filled out the paperwork and looked around the room. The office looked like a normal doctors office and the mood within the office was mixed. No one was crying but everyone wasn't very joviale. Some people were holding conversations about the women who had walked out. Someone actually said "She left because she really didn't want to have the abortion". Most peolple agreed.
I just sat there and watched everyone. Some people were actually cracking jokes. I wondered what would be so hilarious as having an abortion? It totally disgusted me. I was called back into the office and talked with a counselor,handed over my money and got my blood drawn. Next I was taken into office and had an ultrasound preformed. The technician let me see the picture after she was finished. I looked and saw this tiny thing on the screen and alot of questions flooded my mind. The technician said it was a small 7 or 8 week pregnancy.
The doctor came in and introduced himself. I gave him a week smile.He explained the procedure and everything he was going to do. He first did a pelvic exam to confirm the size of my pregnancy and to find out the angle which my uterus was tilted. Then he injected this numbing medication callled,Lidocaine,in my cervix.
I talked me through every step and was very patient and calm through the procedure if I had any questions. The he started up the machine. The machine was tucked in the corner of the office. A small size box with 2 glass canisters on the top of it with coverings with happy faces around it so you couldn't see the contents. It made this low humming noise that sounded like someone's refrigarator was going to break down. There was some slight pain but within minutes it was over. He cleaned me up and the technician helped me to put on a sanitary napkins, put on my clothes and sat me in a recovery room .
The recovery room only had one woman sititng down and she gave me a smile when I walked in. I smiled back. I felt confused and sad all at once it didn't hit me what had really happened until I left. I sat in a recliner with a heating pad over my stomach for about 45 minutes. I had cramps and I could feel the blood coming out of me. I was instructed on aftercare,given birth control and some antibiotics to take for three days.
Everyone who walked in looked relieved,but also looked sad. I went home on the bus again because i wouldn't get anyone to pick me up since my friend was nowhere to be found. I went home in silence and had a quiet dinner and layed down to relax.
In the end things turned out okay. I got my check up a month later and continued to have some light bleeding for about 3 weeks. The nurse told me that every woman's body was different and that everyone would bleed longer or shorter compared to how many pregnancies she had had. I recieved a two month's supply of birth controll pills which I took religiously every single day at the exact same time.The total cost of everything was only $230 dollars and that was because I was a college student and I was recieving government assisted medical coverage. My psychological state of mind made me realize that was the right choice for me right then and there and I felt that another child coming up in this world without stability in there life was pure out and out child abuse. I wouldn't have been a good mother both mentally or financially. I someimes see women pregnant or with young babies( especially girls)and I feel this slight pang in my heart,but I realize it was the greatest thing I could have did for myself and my potential child.
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