Crimson Quotes - spiffing japes from those who were there

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"Is my behind more magical than my front?" - Miss rose Mobury
(as the Professor waved his 'thing' at her). |
"We could really do with Mr. Riley, nobodys better at winding things up than Mr. Riley "
- Lady Violet Charteris (on observing the gramophones habit of running down toward the end of a record).
"It's just not fair! I'm stuck in a cellar with Dr. Lawrence and Mr. Riley, and you get to spend four weeks in the desert with Lawrence of Arabia ... under a blanket!" - Miss Behrens.
"There's a difference between my Church and my Faith, (holds arms wide) and its about this much!" - Mr Waylon Riley.
"Er, excuse me, Mr. Ofarabia, what shall I do with this camel?" - Professor Jacobs (4 days into the Judean Desert).
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Mr. Waylon
Riley - "Oh, I heard talking and thought everyone was up"
Lord Arthur Christian - "We're on watch, and we're making nearly
as much noise as you lot did last night..."
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"Mr
Baxter's scrotum is his own business." - Eddie Braithwaite
"Thank
you Mr. Riley, why, it's nearly as though my husband wasn't
brutally murdered this morning after all." - Lady Violet
Charteris (on receiving a small brass ornamental
windmill from Mr. Riley).
"I
like Jack, but he's going to burn in hell. I don't make the
rules, well, actually, I do make the rules, but that's just
how it is..." - The Almighty
"Good
news, I think we'll be able to save your testicles" - Dr.
Lawrence (to Chunky).
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"Oh,
I appear to have developed super-powers. That could be handy"
- Lady Violet Charteris
(deshelling
a boiled egg with great gusto).
"What
the hell is The Order of Gallio" - Sarah & Chunky
(together).
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"I
think Jack may be immortal!" - Mr. Waylon Riley
(considering the significance of the tatoo on Mr. Flynn's wrist).
"Oh yeah , they might 'ave their own business cards, but I've my
own billboard." - Miss. Celia Blume (regarding
Mr. Riley, Dr. Lawrence and Mr. Vorster).
"Arriman
and Deckans seem to have their fingers in many pies..."
- Mr Waylon Riley
(on hearing how they'd invited Mr. Vorster to
a bankers cannibal dinner).
"I made an Adam's Apple, but I didn't have any of the ingredients
so I had to substituted them all with other things..."
- Miss. Rose Mowbury (on her revolotionary new
cocktail).
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"Well
I don't bloody well trust any of you" - Chester Slim
"All lawyers are either crooked or stupid, and you don't strike
me as being stupid!" - Lord Arthur Christian (trying
to pursuade Mr. Oliver Black).
"Aye, well, bright lights it says, well, I mean, that could just
be a faulty distributor..." - Chunky Baxter
"They say when they go blind one of the other senses are increased
to compensate." - Lady Evelyn
"Hmm, well, in his case it must be his sense of humour."
- Mr. Hendrick Vorster
"Now, a' course, you'll never get an Englishman t' giv' up 'is
pale ale" - Chunky Baxter
"It's
all right, I've got a pen here, we'll just put a line through that
bit, no one will notice. Oh, or I could just fold the paper over like
this..." - Mr. Waylon Riley (examining the will).
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"Well,
I'd only just met everyone and I didn't like to mention the big
shadowy chappie with the knife who was watching us incase you
thought I was being funny." - Captain Edmund Leighton
"Bollocks! I've never heard such an unspeakable amount of
balls in all my life..." - Lord Arthur Christian (on
the subject of rates of tax on savings and voting structures regarding
the acquisition of £10 within the League consitution).
"I tried to take the tea tray off him, but he insisted."
- Lady Violet Charteris (regarding the imminant
collision of Captain Leighton with a table). |
"Fifteen
minutes to clean his soddin' glasses. Tell ya what, £10 and
I'll hit him over the head and get rid of the body for ya." -
Jack Flynn (discussing the obligatory spectacle polishing
of the British librarian).
"Age does have it's advantages my dear, you can say what you
bloody well like, and fart as loud as you please, and no bugger bats
an eyelid..." - Lord Arthur Christian
"Smashing." - Miss. Sarah Hunter-Fitzsimmons
(regarding everything).

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- compiled by suggestion.
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