Paul Masters: Well we�ve been hearing about it all week but now it�s finally time for the debut of the first ever UwF talkshow, "The Starr Attraction" starring Jake Starr.
James Brendon: That�s a whole lot of star power right there.
Interrupting their banter "Danger! High Voltage" by Electric Six blasts around the arena and a vast assortment of red, silver and blue fireworks explode around the entranceway and the edge of the ring. As the last lot of pyrotechnics are set off Jake Starr pops out from behind the curtains wearing a red, stain shirt and a pair of black, baggy pants. The Carson City crowd cheer "Electric" Jake Starr who was born in the state of Nevada. He energetically bounces down the ramp while slapping a few of the fans hands. Jake slides into the ring and Lisa Parker passes him a microphone.
Jake Starr: It�s my distinct pleasure to welcome Carson City to the very first edition of "The Starr Attraction!". I am "Electric" Jake Starr, the man with more charisma in his little pinkie finger than rest of the UwF locker room combined. Johnny Rage and Tim Shady have granted me my own slot every week here on UwF Rage to bring you all my unique brand of entertainment. The first rule of a good talkshow is to have great guests and I�ve made sure this week that I won�t disappoint. So, without further ado let me welcome someone who proves the saying "behind every good man is a good woman", my girlfriend, Kym Moon!
To the sound of cheers a beautiful young woman wearing a short red leather skirt and a tight white top slinks down to the ring. She walks up the ring steps before bending over and entering the ring through the bottom and middle rope. Jake Starr passes her another microphone.
Jake Starr: I�ve got to say Kym that you�re look might damn fine tonight, how on Earth do you get into that skirt?
Kym Moon: Well after we�re done here Jake you can start by buying me a couple of drinks.
Jake Starr: Whoa easy there Kym, we�re on national TV. There might be kids watching! Now I�ve got a couple of questions here for you Kym, who�s your favourite UwF superstar, and why am I?
Kym Moon: Well I�ve always been extremely attracted to your modesty�well your lack of it anyway.
Jake Starr: Now some of the UwF fans here tonight might not know exactly how I earned the nickname "Electric", would you be so kind as to inform the fans?
Kym Moon: Certainly, it�s because when you plug it in you really turn me on!
Jake Starr: Damn it Kym, you�re gonna be giving this show an 18 certificate! Now I�m sure everyone in the arena knows that later one tonight I�m going to be facing a man named Marcus Crosse, one of the best competitors here in the UwF, so I�m going to have to go and get ready real soon. So Kym can you tell everyone what the future has in store for Kym Moon and Jake Starr?
Kym Moon: Well Jake and I lead exciting lives, you name it and we�ve done it. Now it�s time though to set a path and as far as we�re concerned that path leads us both to becoming the biggest superstars in UwF history.
Jake Starr: That�s right, bigger than James Wright, bigger than Kaos and a damn site bigger Kid Insanity. I�ve got a message for Marcus Crosse, I think you�re a decent guy, I really do, but believe "Electric" Jake Starr that, that won�t stop me pulling the plug on you tonight. I�m a shooting star on the rise, I may not be tall but I have plenty of "size". The "Starr Attraction" has spoken!
The crowd are still cheering Jake and Kym as they walk down the ramp, arms locked. The camera cuts back to commentators Paul Masters and James Brandon.
Paul Masters: I don�t like this guy one bit James, did you hear him suck up to this Carson City crowd?
James Brandon: Well he is a native of this state of Nevada. He was born in the bright light city Las Vegas which may explain his lust for showmanship.
Paul Masters: Talking about lust did you see Kym Moon? She was hotter than a plate full of spicy chicken wings. At least when we see Jake Starr we�ll get to see her too.
James Brandon: That�s a definite plus, but I think Jake Starr is pretty damn popular on his own. He won the crowd over tonight with his showy antics.
Paul Masters: Well lets just wait to see how well he fairs against Marcus Crosse tonight before we call him the next messiah, shall we?
James Brendon: Right you are, Paul. Well, folks, coming up, Piston Hurricane meets his match!
Paul Masters: Finally!
Piston Hurricane
v
??????
Single Match
referee: Brad Blaze
Lisa Parker: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. First, making his way to the ring, weighing in at 190 lbs, Piston Hurricane!
"Like You Are," by 3 days Grace plays, as Piston Hurricane appears at the top of the ramp. He looks worried, and shaking visibly. He makes his way to the ring, and immediately moves to the far side of the ring.
Paul Masters: This is it, JB! We finally get to see who has been scaring the crap out of Piston Hurricane!
Piston waits anxiously in the ring as the lights dim, a bell tolls faintly on the loud speakers as the BigScreen lights up with a storm brewing, with lightning crashing on the loud speakers. The copasity crowd give a gigantic ovation as this unknown person is finally to be revealed. Piston walks nervously in the ring as the screaming of Chester Bennington is heard, crying out "You tried to take the best of me GO AWAY!" This then follows up with Mike Shinoda, the rapper of Linkin Park singing "I'm so sick of the tension, sick of the hunger, sick of you acting like I owe you this. Find another place to feed your greed, while I find a place to rest!" The eerie heavy metal song then jumps back to Chester singing the chorus.
"I want to be in another place, I hate where you say you don't understand."
"I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy, A Place for My Head!"
The phyrotechnics set off, exploding every split second on the top of the rampway as a yellow mist forms, arising in the air, reaching the BigScreen. Laughter is heard on the loud speakers as writing is seen, written in blood. Piston looks on, petrified as the message reads.
"Today is your doomsday Piston. I warned you and you don't believe in me? My formality? My existence? I am here to prove to you that you are nothing but a weak, incompitent, misguided fool! Prepare to be Procrastinated by The Perfector of Pain!"
The message disappears as 'A Place for My Head' by Linkin Park now blasts on the PA System with force as the awaiting crowd cheer thunderously, chanting "Unknown! Unknown! Unknown!" The yellow mist fades away as the lights flicker every split second, banging heard as the lights plunge to what seems an eternal darkness. A figure now stands at the top of the rampway as the audience once again, cheer ecstatically. The figure wears a long black trench coat, they're blue long hair, down to their shoulders is somewhat messed up. The figure wears a white vest beneath the trench coat, black trousers, black boots, a noticable silver necklace and a belt with a silver bull belt buckle on the front. The face of this unknown person is glowing in the dark as we finally see his face is covered in red and white face paint. The figure walks slowly to the ring as the crowd try to reach out and touch him.
Lisa Parker: And his opponent, from parts unknown, weighing in at 275lbs, he is the 'Lord of Lightning', the Procrastinator; Perfection of Pain... Thunderbull!
Piston eyes widen as the figure reaches the ring, climbing onto the ring apron and steps in between the second and third ropes.
James Brendon: Oh My God! It can't be!
Paul Masters: Thunder Bull is in the UwF? My god! He came here many months back to help The Rock to prepare for Sunburn. He is one hardcore, suicidal, dark individual!
James Brendon: He is as mysterious as it gets!
Thunder Bull taunts to the crowd, doing the 'Thunder' sign as they respond with a roar of approval. Piston, now looks worried as Thunder Bull stares him down. Thunder Bull removes his trench coat, throwing it to one side, his eyes fixed on Piston Hurricane. Thunder Bulls' face paint, looking quite authentic, yet satanic. He has an angered look on his face. Thunder Bull clenches his fists together as the crowd chant "Thunder Bull! Thunder Bull! Thunder Bull!" heavily. With that, Brad Blaze calls for the bell. Thunderbull and Piston Hurricane lock up, and Thunderbull comes out on top, and easily picks Piston Hurricane up. He powerbombs him into the mat. Thunderbull presses the advantage, and stalks over to Piston Hurricane. He picks him up, and sends him flying to the ropes. As Piston Hurricane bounces off the ropes, he comes flying back, and is met with a spinning heel kick by Thunderbull. Thunderbull leaps back to his feet, and the crowd cheers. He smiles, and moves over to pin Piston Hurricane. Brad Blaze moves for the count. 1...2..kickout.
James Brendon: Thunderbull is really putting the hurt on Piston Hurricane tonight.
Paul Masters: What did you expect? Thunderbull had him beat before he even entered the arena!
James Brendon: Right you are, Paul.
Thunderbull picks Piston Hurricane off the mat, and lifts him bodily into the air. He gorilla presses Piston Hurricane in the air, and then tosses him to the outside of the ring. Piston Hurricane lands on his face, and then rolls over, holding his chest. Thunderbull looks over the ropes, and smiles. He walks over, and climbs to the top rope of the corner turnbuckle, and looks out at the crowd, who is cheering him on. He looks down, then, executes an asai moonsault, and lands squarely on Piston Hurricane! Chants of "Holy Crap" echo throughout the arena.
James Brendon: Holy Crap! An asai moonsault from the top rope to the outside of the ring! What do you have to say about that, Paul?
Paul Masters: Holy Crap!
James Brendon: Well said!
Thunderbull gets to his feet, and picks Piston Hurricane up off the floor. He rolls him into the ring, and then hops up on the apron. He hops over the rope, and using his backside, he bounces off the rope, and does a 360 flip onto the body of Piston Hurricane, turning it into a pin. Brad Blaze is there for the count, 1..2....kickout by Piton Hurricane. Thunderbull slaps the mat in frustration. He gets to his feet, and as Piston Hurricane gets unsteadily to his feet, he is met with a hard DDT by Thunderbull, putting Piston Hurricane right back to the mat.
James Brendon: Why does Piston Hurricane kick out? He knows he's beat.
Paul Masters: Maybe he's just an idiot.
James Brendon: Could be...
Thunderbull moves to the far side of the ring, and waits for Piston Hurricane to get to his feet. Piston Hurricane is up, but unsteady on his feet. He turns around, and is hit with the ThunderBlade, a modified neckbreaker. Piston Hurricane is out, but Thunderbull doesn't go for teh pin. He climbs the top rope, and calls for the Impulse. He aims high, and hits it, a swanton bomb, square on the body of Piston Hurricane. Thunderbull gets to his feet, and goes for the pin, holding Piston Hurricane down with his right foot. Brad Blaze does the count.1...2....3!
Lisa Parker: The winner of this match, by pinfall, Thunderbull!!
James Brendon: Wow, what a beating! I haven't seen a beating like that since Kid Insanity laid it on Screwloose so many years ago.
Paul Masters: Who?
James Brendon: Nevermind, it was a hell of a beating.
Paul Masters: Well, you are right about that. And it looks like Piston Hurricane has had just about enough.
In the ring, Piston Hurricane has come to, and he doesn't look to happy.
Piston Hurricane: I don't know what kind of place you have here, Mr. Shady, but I want no part of it. You have people like Thunderbull here? No way! I quit!
With that, he walks up the entrance ramp, and leaves the arena, never to be seen in the UwF again.
James Brendon: Enough is enough, eh?
Paul Masters: Like I said, Thunderbull had him beat before he even showed up tonight. He definately won that mind game.
James Brendon: Sure did. And Thunderbull is back in the UwF. Who could he possibly pick to be his next opponent?
Paul Masters: I don't know, but I pity the fool!
James Brendon: Folks, stay with us, we have a lot more action coming up!