Julie wis stawnin ootside her front door thinkin she needed tae clean the step when she saw a familiar figure walkin doon the street.....

Julie...."It can't be.....I saw him being carried away last night!"

Big Rab...."Hullo there hen...wits wrang wi yer face?"

Julie..."Your dead!!"

Big Rab..."No me.....that wis ma twin Big Rod....he wis takin ma place last night as I hid tae go oot somewhere else....we dae that awe the time tae fool people"

Julie....."Well you certainly fooled us....Granny is in a terrible state"

Big Rab...."oh aye, a forgoat aboot Granny....better go an see her"

(We ur sorry aboot this latest storyline but Big Rab wis greetin tae us no tae kill him af....well we hate tae see a grown man greet so wit else could we dae! We did think of saying he wis in the shower an it wis awe a dream but we didnae think anywan wud fall fur that wan!)

Afore Rab kin reach Granny's door she comes along the street an sees him

Granny..."A just heard wit ye said.....get oot o ma sight....we're finished"

Rab...."Aye ok hen, didnae get yer knickers in a twist....am goin"

Deirdrie....."Hullo there Rab....a heard wit happened....want tae come in an huv a cuppa?"

Rab....A didnae mind if a dae hen......ma heids birlin"

They go inside an Deirdrie shuts the door! (Here he goes again!)

Ootside No. 5

A polis goes tae the door an knocks oan it......

Julie..."Hello....can I help you?"

Polis....."Aye missus....we ur lookin fur Jimmy Bancroft"

Julie...."Thats my husband....why do you want to see him?"

Polis...."We huv tae take him doon the polis station tae answer some questions....theres been a complaint fae his work aboot somewan cookin the books!!" (Aye we know hes a leckie....but he helped oot in the office tae...ok??)

Julie grabs the polis an pulls him inside the hoose.....she disnae want the neighbours tae hear this!

(The theme tune fae Crossroads plays here....well we used every other wan!!)

Again we apologise tae ye awe fur using Big Rab in most o this weeks episode but the poor man wis so upset wi us that we wanted tae make amends.....so we ur just tryin tae make it up tae him. Well awe right, the truth is he wis so mad at us fur killin him aff he says hes goany batter us....so we ur tryin tae crawl tae him!!