Inside No. 9 theres a load o greetin faces.....then a big polis walks up an knocks oan the door!

Deirdrie....."Oh come away in officer....we ur so glad tae see ye"

Polis...."hullo therr hen...seems ye huv a wee problem."

Aaron...."wit dae ye mean a wee problem? This is wur dug yer talkin aboot"

Deirdrie..."Shut yer face an let the man talk...away an clean yer room" "Please excuse ma boy officer.....he's a wee bit upset"

Polis...."thats awe right hen....we understawn" Noo....lets see this note"

Claire & Louise...."waaaaaaaaa" (well these weans huvnae said a word since they goat oan this soap so we hud tae let them say something!)

The Polis looks at the note, scratches his heid an looks puzzled

Polis..."This isnae in a language a kin understawn....de ye know any foreigners?"

Deirdrie..."only they Chinese folk doon the road that ur buying that old take oot place"

Polis..."A think we huv oor answer hen....a wull be back soon"

An the polis leaves. (We're goanny throw up background music playin)

Meanwhile....ootside No. 5

Tiffany....."Hello Jason...I haven't seen you for a while" (as ye kin see her accent hasnae improved since the last episode)

Jason....."oh hullo there Tiff....av been busy wi ma studies an stuff.....how ye dain?"

Tiffany...."I am fine thank you....I wondered if you would like to go to a party this weekend at my friends house?"

Jason...."oh that sounds awe right....wull there be loads o burds there?" (See wit we mean aboot him being a bit thick??)

Tiffany.....(tryin no tae sound too disappointed) "yes I am sure there will be...so would you like to go?"

Jason...."Aye awe right.....pick me up at 8?"

Tiffany...."Great! See you then"

Inside No. 5

Julie...."Oh Tam....what are we going to do?"

Tam.....Well hen, a wis thinkin we could maybe go tae that wee pub oan the other side o toon...then we could get a curry oan the way hame"

Julie..."I was talking about our relationship Tam....we cant go on like this"

Tam..."Aye yer right hen.....it wulnae work....maist o the time a canny understawn a word yer saying....a kin go masel tae the pub"

With that Tam walks oot the door an Julie turns oan the telly. (We wur goanny play country an western background music here but as nane o them seem upset we wulnae bother)

Meanwhile...in another Street

Steven....."hullo Maw.....thought a wid come an pay ye a visit...ma Faither disnae know aboot this."

Glenda...."awe Stevie son....come oan in....missed ye so a did"

Steven...."a didnae know if ye wanted tae know Maw but theres a strange wumman came roon the other night claimin that ma grandfaither is her faither....so shes ma aunt....but a fancy her somethin rotten!"

Glenda..."No didnae get yersel in a state son.....a should have telt ye years ago but a didnae see the point....no ye need tae know.....Paddy isnae yer faither!" (oh ma gawd this is typical....get us a excited then roll the credits background music playin!)

Steven...."wwwwwwit???"

Glenda...."aye son....so ye should be happy noo"

We changed the theme tune fae Dynasty tae the Dallas wan....we goat bored wi that wan tae! we huv a crack team o song writers workin oan oor ain even as we speak....but didnae hawd yer breath!