Its early in the efternoon oan Vindaloo Street...awe the weans ur at school an maist folk ur at their work.....Oot o No. 3 a figure appears. While another wan is ootside No. 9 watchin her!

Deirdrie......(tae hersel)...."wonder wit that Maggie is up tae noo....theres something going oan in that hoose ower there."

Maggie walks quickly tae the coarner o the street and thinkin naybodys watchin her she goes inside Filthy McNastys.

Deirdrie (again tae hersel - this wumman his a problem!) "Maggie canny be cleanin the pub awe they hoors she goes in there....it isnae that dirty! She must huv a drinkin problem! Wait till a tell awe ma pals this wan!

Meanwhile, inside Filthys....

Shuggie...."aw hen, ye managed tae get here....I wis so worried...thought fur a minute a wud huv tae drag awe these bottles o McEwans up tae the bar masel!"

Maggie..."oh Shuggie, ye ur so thoughtful, no like that daft man o mine"

They sit doon at the bar an gaze at each other....(oh I'm going to throw up background music playing noo)

Doon the road at No. 5

Tiffany.......(oan the phone)......"So Pamela, do you think you could arrange a party at your house next weekend? Then I could invite Jason" (sorry aboot this folks but her maws Julie an the poor wee lassie picked up her marbles in the mooth accent!

Pamela....."Aw am sure a kin hen.....just let me persuade ma maw an faither they need a night oan the toon.....theres a new club opened doon the road so they could go there"

Tiffany......."That would be wonderful" (see wit we mean aboot the snobby accent??) you work on your parents and I will work on Jason!" (oh oh....wits the poor boy in fur background music playing)

Meanwhile.....back at No. 3

Kylie....."But Da....ye canny want tae use the bathroom again...thats the third time this week ye've wanted tae wash....wits goin oan??"

Tam....."Nane o yer lip hen....just because an auld man like me wants tae wash it disnae mean he wants tae be clean does it"

Suddenly the doorbells rings......Isnt that a stupid sayin...the doorbell rings!!

Kylie answers it an finds Granny Adams oan the doorstep. Another stupid sayin!

Kylie...."oh hullo Granny....a mean Mrs Adams...come oan in"

Granny...."Is yer Maw or Faither hame hen?"

Tam....."Hullo Granny....wits wrang?"

(We know its gettin near the end o this week as the adverts ur comin oan so exciting stuff background music playing again)

Granny..."Oh its terrible....Tyson...the graham's family dug his been kidnapped!!! They left a ransom note!! (Noo the really exciting dramatic we're goin tae wet oorsels music playing)

The Theme tune fae Dynasty plays again....we still huvnae goat oor ain but we're too busy so if ye didnae like it...write yer ain!!