Inside Filthys

Shuggie…."This is goannae be the best Hogmanay pairty ever hen"

Maggie…"Aye ah know Shuggie…but ah dae wish ye hudnae invited Tam"

Shuggie…."Ah didnae invite him….this is a bliddy public bar!"

Maggie…"Oh aye ah wis forgettin that….well ah just hope he disnae get drunk an make a fool oh himsel…he does that every New Year"

Shuggie…"Did ye get awe the food oot?"

Maggie…"Aye its awe ready…theres wee sausage rolls, twiglets, shortbreid, crisps wi that fancy dip fae Tescos an ah made a quiche in case anywan disnae like meat"

Shuggie…."Och yer a great wee wumman so ye ur hen….ahm a lucky wee man"

(He's also a stupid wee man but its New Year so we ur goannae be nice the night!)

Inside No. 5

Jimmy…."Ur ye comin tae the pairty at Shuggie's the night hen?"

Julie…"Certainly not! I intend to stay home and watch the television….the BBC will be live from George Square tonight….much more comfortable sitting here than in that smelly pub"

Jimmy…."Suit yersel….ah'll take the wean wi me"

Julie…"You will not take Tiffany to that place…have you forgotten shes only 14?"

Naw Jimmy hudnae forgotten but the writers hud! Well we cannae mind everythin!!!

Inside No. 9

Deirdrie…."Noo ye be guid fur yer babysitter son"

Aaron….."How come Granny cannae watch us….ah didnae want that uther wumman"

Deirdrie…"Ah telt ye afore…Grannys goin tae the pairty the night….an shes bringin her grandson Brendan wi her….noo hes a bit oh awe right…..guid lookin an perfect tae"

(Is there nae end tae this wummans gallivantin?? We created a monster here!!)

Later that night…….inside Filthy's

Shuggie…."Ok we only huv 2 minutes till midnight…ah just wanted tae say a few wurds tae everywan afore we leave 1999 ahind"

Tam….."Aye that’s a few wurds….noo shuttit an gies a drink"

Maggie…."Ah think ye've hud enough Tam"

Rab……"ahm celebratin….lets awe celebrate….gies a kiss Granny"

Granny…."Yer a wee stoater Rab"

(Looks like Grannys been oan the voddie the night!)

Tinman….."Ah didnae mind awe this fancy food but ah wid kill fur a guid curry"

Brendan….."Come back tae ma hoose efter the bells….no only ahm a perfect but ahm a great cook….ah kin whip ye up a curry nae bother"

(If we wurnae already merried we wid merry this man oorsels!!)

Paddy….."Shush the lot oh ye…its midnight!"

DING DONG DING DONG

(aye awe right….but ye try an type oot the sound oh bells!)

The whole cast…."HAPPY NEW YEAR!!"

That’s it fur noo…..but oan behalf oh awe oh us here at Oor Wee Hoose we wid like tae wish awe oor fans ah very Happy 2000……aye we know the two oh ye ur probably oot celebratin an urnae even readin this…but we know ye wull come back….ye probably huv nuthin better tae dae efter Hogmanay!