THE WEDDIN!!

Inside Martha Street Registry

Steve…."It wis good oh ye tae stawn in as ma bestman at short notice Tinman"

Tinman…"that’s nae bother Steve…..ah wisnae daein nuthin the day anyway"

Steve…."whos the wee burd ye brought wi ye?"

Tinman…"oh that’s Carol the nurse…..ah like a wumman in uniform"

(this last comment wisnae oor idea….Tinman asked us fur a nurse an that’s wit hes getting!)

Steve……"ah didnae know ma Da invited AWE the bliddy street tae the weddin!"

The room starts tae fill up wi folk…….

Julie…."what a low cost wedding this is…..my Tiffany is going to have a much grander affair"

Jimmy…"Aye well ah hope she picks a man wi muney…..if shes like her Muther! That outfit ye got fur this thing cost too much….yer only a guest…no the bride!!"

Julie…."One has certain standards to keep Jimmy…..the neighbours expect it of me"

(the neighbours expect her tae move hoose but she isnae daein that!)

Deirdrie….."Ahm so glad ye could come wi me the day Billy"

Billy….."Ah widnae huv missed it hen….just wish they wid hurry up an let us get back tae the pub"

Suddenly the tune oh Here comes the bride plays (we wur goannae play a funny tune here but we couldnae think oh wan the noo…so this bits normal!)

Steph comes intae the room wearin a wee white mini skirt……an see thru blouse.

Granny Adams…."awwww look at the bride….she looks brilliant"

Aaron…."Ah kin see her bra thru that thing!"

Granny…"shuttit son…that’s no nice!"

Shuggie…"ah think its very nice"

Maggie…."ye said that tae me wance…noo look at the state oh me!"

Ok we're no goannae go intae awe they wurds they say at weddins…..dae ye take an stuff…lets just say they got merried…..noo we kin get tae the pub!!!

Inside Filthy's

Tiffany….."would you like to dance Jason"

Jason…"no the noo hen…..ah widnae mind anuther wan oh they sausage rolls though"

Tiffany…(tae hersel) "sometimes I wonder why I bother" (we wunder tae sometimes…but then we huv nae control ower wit this lassie does!)

Steve…."Ah wish we could get away fae here an get tae oor honeymoon"

Steph…."Me tae….thanks fur pickin Blackpool….yer so romantic!"

Steve….."Aye well ah huv happy memories oh that place durin the fair….it wis the obvious choice hen"

(We wish they wid just go tae…..naebody notices the bride an groom at weddin receptions anyway!)

Tinman…."Hullo there Deirdrie…ah see ye didnae hang aboot fur long withoot me"

Deirdrie…."This is Billy….hes an auld pal oh mine"

Tinman…"Nice tae meet ye Billy….this is Carol…shes a new pal oh mine"

Carol……"Ah didnae usually wear ma nurses uniform tae weddins but Tinman asked me tae"

Tinman…."aye well ah think it suits ye"

(Tinman should be happy noo….bet he thinks furst afore he asks us fur somethin oan this soap!)

Shuggie…."wits wrang hen……ye've gone a funny colour"

Maggie…."no much Shuggie…..ah just huv a sair back"

Shuggie…"ah telt ye no tae lift they big boxes…..the wee wans wid dae"

Maggie…."its no the boxes….it’s the wean…ahm in labour!!"

(Dramatic music plays here while Shuggies face goes a funny colour!)