At the door oh No. 9

Tinman...."Is yer Mammy there son?"

Aaron..."Naw shes no in...she went tae get some messages"

Tinman..."At 9 o'clock at night....dae a look as if a came up the Clyde in a banana boat son? Shes up tae somethin...noo where is she?"

Granny..."Hullotherr Tinman....am watchin the weans the night....Deirdrie went oot"

Tinman...."Aye, wi anuther man a bet ye...well if she is she kin pay full price fur her windae cleanin.....see ye later"

Granny..."Aye cheerio son.....(tae hersel) that wumman is goanny huv tae decide"

Tinman walks away doon the road when he bumps intae Steve.

Tinman..."Hullo...wit huv ye done tae yer arm?"

Steve...."Aw a wis oot wi ma pals fur ma stag night....hud a few bevvies an broke it....wis plannin oan gettin plastered but no this way!"

Tinman..."Aye thats right...yer gettin merried....well take ma word fur it....the honeymoon disnae last long...wait until ye huv screamin weans"

Steve...."A didnae mind...me an Steph ur happy.....well we wull be wance she forgives me fur gettin merried wi a stookie oan" "Fancy goin tae the pub fur a beer?"

Tinman..."A canny the night....am skint..no many people want their windaes washed in this weather"

Steve....."Aye awe right then....see ye later"

They baith walk away....Tinman back tae his wee lonely bucket an Steve tae the pub.

Inside Filthys

Shuggie...."Wull ye hurry up wumman an help me doon in this bar"

Maggie...."hawd yer horses....a canny walk as fast as a used tae"

Shuggie....."Aye yer beginnin tae look like an elephant.....wish it wis ower"

Maggie..."No as much as a dae....at least ye just huv tae look...a huv tae suffer" (We wur goanny mention awe the things poor Maggie hus tae suffer like piles annat...but we wulnae in case yer awe eatin yer dinner)

Steve...."Gies a pint o McEwans Shuggie"

Shuggie..."Hullotherr Steve...no long noo eh"

Steve...."aye next week....its goanny be a big do....just tryin tae find ma best man noo....he wis oan ma stag night but we huvnae seen him since"

Shuggie..."Well am sure he wull turn up.....that wan always went were there wus a free meal"

Ootside No. 5

Tiffany...."Hello Jason....not out on a date tonight?"

Jason..."A wis supposed tae be...then that wee burd gave me a dizzy...thats us finished"

Tiffany...."I'm sorry to hear that Jason (shes no really but shes a guid liar) I do wish you wouldn't use that word bird to describe ladies.....it sounds awful.

Pamela....(shes Tiffanys pal..huv ye no bein payin attention!!) "Aye its no a nice wurd is it? But ye know why they call us burds?"

Tiffany...."No why?"

Pamela...."Its cos o the worms we pick up!"

Jason..."Very funny.....am away hame noo....got studyin tae dae"

Inside No. 5

Julie...."Tiffany, please come inside and close the door, honestly....people will start to think you live on the doorstep"

Tiffany...."Ok Mum.....I just like watching people pass"

Julie..."You were watching for that awful boy next door....stay away from him.....he reminds me of your father at that age....and look how he turned out"

Pamela....."Mr Bancrofts no bad fur an auld man......wit is he noo? 40??"

Julie...."Yes, well.....I have no time to sit here talking....my programmes coming on in a minute. Go and make your supper Tiffany"

Jimmy comes intae the room

Jimmy..."A wis goanny watch that programme Tam telt me aboot"

Julie..."Well if Tam told you it must be a terrible programme.....I wish we could move from this awful neighbourhood"

Jimmy...."Aye well no much chance o that when a didnae huv a job"

We wull finish here as this wummans gettin oan oor nerves....an we made her!

Theres no much excitement in this weeks episode as we ur too tired tae make any....but soon we wull huv a guest scriptwriter fur a whole episode....so keep lookin!!