(1) Most Original Show:
"Arctic Boosh". I think it's very possible that Noel and Julian are certifiably insane *g*.

(2) Biggest Sleaze:
Mickey D was trying pretty damn hard to get into the pants of one of my fellow Queens......

(3) Best Show:
This is so much easier this year!!! It'd have to be the show I'm addicted to, the show I saw five times. "LOOSE MOOSE"!!! Those guys are downright fantastic.
Runner Up: "Arctic Boosh" - Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt

(4) Funniest Joke/ Anecdote:
I think I laughed the absolute hardest during Corinne Grant's show ("What's a nice girl like you") when she was talking about giving herself a makeover when drunk. I *hurt*!

(5) Best Venue:
Council Chambers, Town Hall for elegance and Ath 2 for the great "rehearsal" atmosphere.

(6) Least New Material:
Ted Robinson and Paul McDermott in the two debates. *sigh* I can't believe that this time last year I actually respected McDermott. It's rather sad really.

(7) Best Costume/Make-up Changes:
Rachel Berger's changing behind a screen on-stage - and managing to knock the screen over as the "climax" to a transition into a very spiffy ballroom dancing frock *g*.

(8) Best Nude Work:
Ryan Belleville's overenthusiastic attempt (and achievement *g*) of realism during one performance of "Loose Moose".
Runner Up: Adam Richard as the Naked Chef in "Sassy".

(9) Worst Sight:
The costumes in "Life, Get It Up Ya". *lol*

(10) Least Original Show:
"Extreme Shames". *sigh*. It was the one that made all of the others look great.

(11) Worst Venue:
While the idea of Morgs performing his show from behind the bar at the Hi-Fi was a great one, it certainly wasn't the most comfortable I've been, nor much of a view.

(12) Hottest Comedians:
My problem is that anyone who makes me laugh immediately goes up a million percent in my books *g*. As a result of having nothing better to do, the residents of the Comedy Palace constructed lists of our top ten festival spunks. Yes, I know, we need to find ourselves a life or four at some stage *g*. Anyway, as of the 25th of April, the residents of *my* list were: Wil Anderson, Eric Amber, Noel Fielding, Ross Noble, Ryan Belleville, Steven Gates, Boothby Graffoe, North Darling, Derek Flores and Colin Lane.

(13) Best International:
The "Loose Moose" guys, and the "Arctic Boosh" lads. And Eddie Izzard because he's one of the many comedy gods *g*.

(14) Best Local (Melbourne Comedy Scene):
This is just *way* too hard! I guess you can't go past Tripod and Wil Anderson if you *really* have to narrow it down.

(15) Best Outfit/Costume - Male:
I adored Eddie Izzard's outfit at the Mooseheads. I *want* it!!! And the Loose Moose guys' Gangster look was fantastic.

(16) Best Outfit/Costume - Female:
Anything worn by Janet McLeod.

(17) Worst Outfit/Costume - Male:
The socks down the tights in "Rockothello" were quite terrifying *g*.

(18) Worst Outfit/Costume - Female:
Denise Scott's callisthenics costume.

(19) Best Value:
Festival club when the Scaredies Superband is on.

(20) Most Surprising Snog:
Janet and Stewart Lee. Awwwwww......

(21) "Nicest" Comedian:
There wasn't exactly time for socialising with 59 shows *g*, but Eric Amber seemed lovely.

(22) Best Nail Polish:
Eddie Izzard.

(23) Most "Huggable"Comedian:
The Canadians.

(24) Juiciest Piece of Festival Gossip:
It's hard to go past North and the Popstar *g*.

(25) Illest Looking Comedian:
Any of the Loose Moose guys after doing their required Tequila shots *g*.

(26) Worst Case of Festival Flu:
There didn't seem to be quite as much around this year, but that's probably just me being unobservant. Wil Anderson sounded shocking at the Mooseheads.

(27) Star of the Future:
Gerard McCulloch.

(28) Best Comedic Song:
I adored Tripod's new "Melbourne Girl" song. And you can't go past Arctic Boosh's musical interludes ("I am the head and I'm back from the DEAD!!!") and the "Life, Get It Up Ya" songs.

(29) Least Fashionable:
Noel Fielding's "hair of a sixties girl". But I loved it anyway *g*.

(30) Most Fashionable:
The Loose Moose guys' for those fantastic Gangster-style outfits.

(31) Best Festival Club Band:
The Scared Weird Little Guys Comedy Allstar Superband. There's no other choice *g*.

(32) Drink of Choice:
Water - and lots of it. I might just add that this year's comedy festival was a lot *different* completely sober! I have so many more memories *g*.

(33) The "Missing In Action"Award:
Lots of locals, but the one I'm most annoyed about was Miss Itchy. *sob* I so wanted to see a show, but they were only on at Upfront.

(34) Biggest Mental Case:
MC Savage. Goddamnit, I thought we'd got rid of him when *last* year's festival finished!

(35) Biggest Sad Sack:
Johnny Vegas.

(36) Tiredest Looking Person At The Mooseheads:
Wil Anderson looked pretty shocking. But then again, that's what you get for doing three shows *and* breakfast radio.

(37) Most Slashable Duo:
Lawrence Mooney and Damian Callinan. A hell of a lot of people were thinking "finally!!!" when they pashed on stage at Festival Club *g*.
Runners Up: Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt.

(38) Best Bag:
My Eeyore bag.

(39) Best Festival Memory:
Time spent with a certain comedic-type person, and anything to do with Loose Moose or the Scaredies band.

(40) Funniest Poster:
Dave Callan.

(41) Best Accent:
Noel Fielding.
Runner Up: Ross Noble.

(42) Best Cooking Segment:
Adam Richard's Naked Chef.

(43) Best Improv:
Loose Moose.
Runner Up: Ross Noble in all of his shows.

(44) The "Girl Power"Award:
Corinne Grant for proving she's the funniest member of the "Rove" team.

(45) Most Political:
Rod Quantok. Maybe I'm just in an unusually optimistic frame of mind at the moment, but he's starting to sound paranoid *g*.

(46) Best Staff Member:
The merchandise table chick who also manned the door at Festival Club.

(47) Most Touching Moment:
The tributes to Dave Taranto at the Mooseheads. Thanks for everything, Dave.

(48) Biggest Drinker - Male:
Morgs. There's really no competition.

(49) Biggest Drinker - Female:
At last count, Janet was doing pretty well in the "lush-off" *lol*.

(50) Worst Look:
The "Life, Get It Up Ya" costumes!!!!!!

(51) Best Look:
I seem to be repeating myself *g*, but the Canadians' gangster attire.

(52) Best Body - Male:
Gatesy.

(53) Best Body - Female:
Corinne's looking fantastic at the moment.

(54) Best Slide Show:
Damian Callinan's slide show in "Speech Night".

(55) Most Interesting Accessory:
Harley's and my lightsabers at the Planet on my birthday.

(56) The "They'd Make A Great Couple"Award:
Lawrence Mooney and Damian Callinan *g*.

(57) Most Gratuitous Use Of An Audience Member:
Lano and Woodley and the Tennis Ball girl.

(58) Best Prop:
The giant stationery monster in "Arctic Boosh".

(59) Scariest:
The psychopathic Paul McDermott teenyboppers.

(60) Most Amusing Costume Mishap:
Any of the "Born Three" costume changes *g*.

(61) Best Athlete:
The wrestlers at Eric and Derek's "Hot Nuts and Popcorn Show". *rofl*

(62) Most Annoying Audience:
Anything involving pubescent losers and Paul McDermott. And Stewart Lee's audiences who just didn't seem to get irony *sigh*.

(63) Best Audience:
The audience for Eric and Derek's "Hot Nuts and Popcorn Show" was fantastic, especially during Adam Hills' bit.

(64) Best/Most Interesting Hair-do:
Anything sported by Janet McLeod, Noel Fielding's "hair of a sixties girl" and Ross Noble's bright pink locks.

(65) Worst Hair:
Any of the "Loose Moose" wigs.

(66) Best Dancer:
Gatesy always looked good at Festival Club.

(67) The "Living In The Past"Award:
Denise Scott for the content of her show (childhood memories) and Noel Fielding for his dress and hair style.

(68) Best Audience Interaction:
Adam Hills. This guy can manage to get even the most reticent Aussie audiences to open up.

(69) Most Interesting Mental Image:
Noel Fielding's backwards ram's legs.

(70) The "Getting Into It Entirely Too Much Award":
Damien Callinan and Lawrence Mooney's festival club performance......

(71) Best Bit Of Bitching:
Wil Anderson in "Who Wants To Be A Wilionaire" about the original, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire".

(72) Best Pose:
The "What am I? I'm a banana!" pose in "Rockothello".

(73) Most Irritating:
The screamers in the debate. And several members of the Improbables group.

(74) Biggest Jokie:
Nerija. Working her way through the world's comedians.

(75) Most Pathetic Review:
I didn't really read any. I was too busy actually seeing stuff.

(76) The "Always Around"Award:
MC Savage. Unfortunately.

(77) The "Most Biased Audience" Award:
Ged's Mum and Dad in "Gedi Nights".
Runner Up: Denise Scott's family and friends in "Suburban Riot".

(78) Best Chair:
The Council Chambers pull out chairs.

(79) The "Not Gay" Award:
Ross Noble seemed to be pashing a lot of blokes *lol*.

(80) Most Unnecessary Prop:
The Cardboard House in "Out and About".

(81) Best Badge:
My "Lewis Schaffer Not Gay" badge.

(82) Best Anthem:
I like the Scaredies' Olympic song.

(83) Best Use Of Curtains:
Ross Noble's work behind the curtains before "revealing himself" to the audience.

(84) Bravest:
Eric Amber for taking on the wrestlers...... What? It's all scripted? Really?

(85) Biggest "Character":
Come back Lewis Schaffer!!! Probably Boothby Graffoe this year.

(86) The "Is He Really Only Thirty-Four" Award:
James O'Loughlin

(87) Funkiest Suits:
The "Loose Moose" guys. Again.

(88) Best Use Of Men's Magazines:
Kim and Adam's exploration of Tiffany from Bardot's semi-pornographic posing in "Sassy".

(89) Best Use Of P.V.C:
Janet McLeod.

(90) Most Gratuitous Use Of Eddie McGuire:
Wil Anderson.

(91) Most Gratuitous Use Of "Star Wars":
The Four Noels. Lucky I was wearing my Qui-Gon tie that night *g*.

(92) Most Expensive:
Good News Week and Flacco and the Sandman. Both complete and utter rip-offs at $35-00. And no, I didn't go to either of them.

(93) Best Festival Conversation:
Definitely the one involving 3 overtired ComFest Queens, 1 overtired princess and 1 overtired Wombat in the Comedy Palace kitchen. Captured on tape for generations to come.

(94) Best Autograph:
Eddie Izzard. The only comedian for the festival whose autograph I had any interest in getting.

(95) Worst Placed Audience Shot:
Them using bloody us on the ads for last year's Flacco and the Sandman special. Flapping our cheeks for god's sake. *growl*

(96) Best Spruiking:
Ged's tireless efforts to promote Elbow Grease.

(97) Most Unaware Of Their Own Attractiveness:
Gatesy when drunk.

(98) Longest Show:
Eddie Izzard. By far.

(99) Best Festival Catch Phrases:
Arctic Boosh: "I am the head and I'm back from the DEAD!"
Noel Fielding: "Backwards ram's legs"
Peter Helliar: "I can flap my hands"
Loose Moose: "Tequila!"

(100) The "You Guys See Too Many Shows"Award:
Me. With the other two queens as runners up.